


Space Oddity

by Axlaida



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: #LetVityaBeFree2k19, (Being naked), A Plant Wrote This, AU, Alien AU, Alien Biology, Alien Victor Nikiforov, Alien Victor doing Alien things, Alien/Human Relationships, Aliens, Alternate Universe - Aliens, And he's in denial over that, Communication, Crash Landing, Domestic Fluff, Dont ask me about Makka, Drunkenness, Eventual Relationships, Falling In Love, Fluff, Goodbyes, Happy Ending, Human Katsuki Yuuri, I also guess, Implied/Referenced Sex, Kissing, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Mute Victor Nikiforov, Naked Victor Nikiforov, Oblivious Katsuki Yuuri, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Victor Nikiforov, Stargazing, They're a mess and I love them both, Thirsty Katsuki Yuuri, Vicchan Lives, Viktuuri Fluff Bang 2019, dumb dates, i guess, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 02:26:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 52,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18111371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Axlaida/pseuds/Axlaida
Summary: Yuuri Katsuki was a simple man.He enjoyed watching the stars, loved poodles, and would eat Katsudon at any opportunity. Life was simple, once, but when he watched a comet fall from the sky, what he found was neither space rocks or dust, but a man - a celestial being with silver hair and blue blood.And so Yuuri took him in. He cared for him and did his best to show the alien the best humanity had to offer. But the mute alien surprised him, time and time again, and Yuuri soon realized he was beginning to fall himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Big love to Baph for betaing, and Star for being the best support there is.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEyoooooo I'm back!! Months of nothingness and here we are, a dumb fic about alien Victor. Yay!
> 
> I wrote this for the Viktuuri Fluff Bang, so check out those fics when you have time! Also, big big love to my artist Staronet! You've been a star - pun not intended
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it!

The night sky was how Yuuri came to wish for something more.

He wasn’t entirely sure what he dreamed of. There was never much excitement in Yuuri’s life, and he was content with that, but something about the night sky had him dreaming. As daylight faded and the stars exposed themselves, Yuuri watched from his window. Nothing could keep him from the stars; they were his relaxation, his obsession, and his connection to the universe that fascinated him so.

It was the most beautiful art, alive with raw energy and spirit. There were times he believed he could feel it, soft vibrations of time and space, whispering in a way his ears couldn’t hear; he could only feel. It felt friendly amongst a world that was so devoid of love. It was his only peace – his calm in such a crazy, chaotic world.

It was hard to shove aside the worries that consumed him, but there was joy in watching the stars, sheer bliss as they twisted and warped against the blackness, taking Yuuri’s mind away to another place – another time. It was hard, but eventually, his mind would stop. He didn’t need to think when he watched the night sky. In that moment, he didn’t exist. He was nothing but a small speck among the vast scale of the universe and knowing so allowed him to let go.

Just gazing at the midnight blue canvas above stole every thought from his mind, and the carousel of worries were simply forgotten. There were the stars above and the crescent moon to smile upon; what else was there to know about?

A soft bark alerted him from his daze. He turned, eyes blinking at Vicchan scratching at his back door. A quick glance at the clock told him it was late, but also right on cue for Vicchan to use the bathroom before bed. Yuuri put down his coffee cup that long turned cold and scratched behind his companions’ ear.

“You want to go out, yeah?” Yuuri asked softly, and an excited bark was Vicchan’s response. He gave one last scratch before opening the door, and called while Vicchan raced outside, “don’t be too long!”

He left Vicchan to do his business while he stayed behind, left standing by his doorway with his arms tightly wrapped around himself. The wintry air swirled around him, taking every lick of warmth it could. He’d grab a jacket, but he’d only be there for a few moments. Vicchan would soon rush in, so he stayed put – watching and waiting.

He found the darkness strange. He had grown used to having the warm orange glow of a streetlamp just outside his window, or hearing to the occasional footsteps and quiet voice of a stranger, but where he lived now was nothing but silence. This was a blackness he could never recall seeing before. When he tilted his head up, he could see millions of bright stars dotted along the sky, yet none of that light seemed to reach far enough to make a difference when he turned his eyes away. Even the moon offered little light to reach his darkened home, but Yuuri was okay with that.

It was what he wanted after all – what he _needed._

Yuuri played no favouritism to the stars. There were so many to choose from and far too many to keep track of, but he had to admit, the brightest ones were the best. He had a specific favourite that night. It was one that shone next to the moon – a sequin-silver star, familiar to its neighbour, and stood out like lightning in a storm.

But the star set the sky ablaze and Yuuri realized it was no star. It was the blinding light of a comet, pure silver and gold as it caressed the heavens and filled the sky with a passing light.

Yuuri was completely unprepared for the moment the comet came down on Earth. It crashed not too far from his home, somewhere across the stretch of nothingness ahead of him. He could hear Vicchan’s barking through the thin air, and a gentle hum of silence that was too thick to be nothing.

He shouldn’t investigate. He mustn’t, but he’d never seen a comet in person. He had never been so close to something that had already explored the Universe and its brilliance. This was an opportunity he’d never have again, and that encouraged his feet to move as he ran to see what had become of the falling light.

The field always looked so different at night. Even with his glasses on, he could see nothing. It was as if the trees and grass had disappeared along with the sun, and Yuuri wondered how he’d find what he was looking for until he caught sight of a warm burning glow come into view – a ring of fire that burned lowly in the darkness.

Yuuri grabbed Vicchan before he went running off into the flames. His companion was never too far away, but he too seemed intrigued.

“You’ll protect me if an alien crawls out and tries to eat me, right?” Yuuri whispered to Vicchan. The responsive whine wasn’t reassuring, but Yuuri didn’t fret as he continued forth. “Let’s see what it looks like.”

There was a giddiness building – an excitement that nervously twisted Yuuri’s gut and tugged his heart in all directions. To see beauty so close would be a blessing. He didn’t regret his decision to investigate, even if what he may find could be a pile of space rocks or dust. It would be a pleasure to see what once moved along the stars and fell from the sky

But what Yuuri found was neither space rocks or dust, and his heart came to a complete stop. What he found was not what he expected to see.

There was a man lying in the large crater – a being that held the same features as any other human on Earth, but this man was no human. Yuuri couldn’t believe that. There was no possible way a human could survive a crash like that, or live through the impact. He may appear human with arms and legs and a face that resembled beauty brighter than the stars above, but he was no human. He couldn’t be.

Yuuri hadn’t realized he moved closer until his fingers lingered over the being’s cheek. His hair was the same silver as the stars, and his pale skin was softer than silk as his fingertips gently caressed his cheekbone. By appearance alone, he was no different to Yuuri; maybe a little _too_ beautiful, but still human.

But it was the suit that gave it away. Yuuri had never seen anything like it before. It was something he’d see a character from a videogame wear, like a cyborg or an android. The being wore a skin-tight material beneath the patches of armor plating. It stretched along his arms and up his neck, sculpting his sharp jawline as it kept the rest of his skin hidden. The suit itself was made of steel-greys and whites. A purple fluorescent light stretched along the arms of the suit, stopping when it reached a core that sat in the centre of the being’s chest. Yuuri wanted to touch it, but the thought of prodding alien technology had him reluctant.

If he hadn’t watched the being fall from the stars, he wouldn’t know what to think, but Yuuri was certain. This being wasn’t human. He was woven from the stars, born on a planet distant from his own, far from home with a bloody-blue injury on his forehead and knocked unconscious.

He was an alien; Yuuri didn’t doubt that.

“Shit, Vicchan…” Yuuri mumbled towards his companion. “What do we do?”

He didn’t expect a response, but he was disappointed to not receive one. It left him with his head in the clouds and his thoughts lost in space, but he couldn’t just _leave_ the being here. It wouldn’t be right. He had a duty to fulfil – his humanity to show as he lifted the being in his arms.

It may be stupid to allow an alien into his home – _especially_ while his intentions were still unknown – but he needed to do what was right.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri listened to the dial tone ring for the seventh time.

He impatiently tapped his foot, growing frustrated with his best friend that by the time it reached the eleventh ring, he hung up with a huff. He then tried again. The call rung but still no answer, and Yuuri suspected Phichit wasn’t going to answer his phone.

Which was strange, because this was _Phichit_ ; he always had his phone.

“God damn it, Phichit,” Yuuri muttered under his breath. “The one time I need you…” He tightly pressed his lips together, shaking his head. He never often called Phichit with an emergency. He would call for a chat every so often, and Phichit was always there to answer, but it was typical that the _one time_ Yuuri needed him, he wasn’t there to answer his call.

But for now, there was nothing Yuuri could do. He shoved his phone in his pocket and exhaled a long breath, calming the anxious tugging in his chest. He had another problem to face – another situation to tend to that involved an unconscious, crash-landed alien.

Yuuri scrubbed a hand down his face. He knew how limited his options were, and what little choices he had left didn’t help him find a conclusion. He wasn’t even confident he wanted to bring Phichit into this mess, but he needed to do something. While it was a start, it wasn’t an answer, nor a solution he desperately needed.

And that left Yuuri alone with the alien. There was a hint of excitement inside – curiosity that drew him closer, but fear made itself known. It sat in the back of his throat, threatening his voice to remain silent and his fingers to tremble as he took Vicchan into his arms.

He couldn’t be certain about the alien’s intentions. He could be friendly and Yuuri’s fear was completely unnecessary, but his purpose on Earth may be sinister. He could be after world domination, or extermination of the human race, and Yuuri held Vicchan closer. He tried hard not to think like that.

But regardless of his fear, it was still so bizarre to think he had an alien inside his home. It was like watching the entire galaxy sleep on his couch – which was a _complete_ exaggeration, but knowing the alien fell from the stars had Yuuri giddy with excitement. This was an improbable meeting. It should never have been, but it happened, and to somebody like _Yuuri_?

It was hard to believe, but this was an opportunity and he wasn’t going to miss it. He could learn more about the sky above – the endless cosmos that held mystery and wonder and thrilling stories to tell. He desired to know all about the alien’s expeditions and his travels across the Universe. He wished to hear them all. He wanted to discover what nobody else could.

And while Yuuri’s eagerness was expected, he reminded himself to calm down. He should take one step at a time, and as he inhaled a long breath, he turned his attention to the alien’s injury.

His blood covered his forehead, staining his perfectly silver hair with strings of blues and teal. It was strange seeing a being so human bleed blood that was blue, and Yuuri almost wanted to stare for longer, but he shook those thoughts out of his head. This was a bizarre situation – and completely overwhelming in many ways – but the alien needed his help.

He wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing. He had been running on impulse since bringing the alien home, but he had enough common sense left in him to know that cleaning the wound was a start.

He gently tapped a wet sponge against the alien’s forehead, afraid he’ll wake up sooner than Yuuri could prepare for. He didn’t rouse, or stir, but his face scrunched at the cold water as a single drop trickled down his forehead. Yuuri held his breath, hesitant to continue until he was certain that the alien was completely knocked out, then continued his work. He gently dabbed away the blood until his bowl of water turned blue and the wound was left as a healing gash.

He didn’t have much in his first-aid box. He expected to have more, but all that sat was an unopened box of band-aids, which had to do. A handful was enough to completely conceal the wound beneath a line of band-aids, keeping it safe from infection – _if_ the alien could get an infection. He wasn’t completely certain he had done a good job, but he hoped he did everything right.

And as Yuuri sat back, he exhaled a breath. He wasn’t sure what to do next, but the surrounding silence and uncertainty gave Yuuri time to think – time to reflect.

Every option was limited. Yuuri wasn’t oblivious to that fact, but there were a few benefits on his side. Everything about the alien felt human, which was a relief. He’d be easy to hide. It was effortless to blend him in with the rest of humanity, and hide him from anyone who might wish to investigate him, but Yuuri was still terrified.

He had never anticipated the importance of the alien until now, and the uncertainty that followed; but he most definitely didn’t expect himself to wish to keep the alien safe. There was something in Yuuri’s mind that told him not to leave him – that asked Yuuri what he would want if he was in the same situation. This was terrifying for Yuuri, but equally so for the alien, and he couldn’t let the alien deal with this alone.

He wasn’t the only one to see the alien fall. There were others with their eyes on the sky – others who were watching for beings like him, waiting for that day when they’d finally catch a glimpse of extra-terrestrial life. There were ordinary people, like Yuuri, but then there were those on the higher scale of law who could take the alien away. The military was sure to check on this, and the government too. They could steal him away from Yuuri, do whatever they like to him, and Yuuri couldn’t risk the exposure. The alien may be friendly, but he knew what humans were like. They feared the unknown.

But the alien was _more_ than just the unknown. Yuuri had seen enough movies to know what people would do if they got their hands on him. He held technology far advanced than his own, and knowledge only others could dream of. He was important. If that information got into the wrong hands, Yuuri would be to blame. He’d be the cause of the destruction that followed.

It was nerve-wracking to think about and Yuuri’s nerves frayed in an instant, but he never explored the possibility that nothing could happen too. Those who also saw the alien fall could believe he was a comet too, like Yuuri had, and find no reason to investigate. Nothing could come from this – no investigation, or government snooping around, just silence.

Yuuri was easily overthinking this. He was letting his anxiety get to him, but he couldn’t ignore the possibility that something could still happen. He needed to remain cautious – just in case.

But he made up his mind. He was going to do what was right. It may be stupid of him, especially while the alien’s intentions remained unknown, but Yuuri saw an opportunity – a chance to show him the good in humanity.

And from nowhere came the sound of a piercing ring that shocked Yuuri’s heart into a rapid beat. He pressed a hand to his chest and exhaled a breath, recognizing the sound as Phichit’s ringtone. He was finally calling back.

Yuuri delved his phone from his pocket as he left the room, preferring the comfort of privacy to the risk that the alien was conscious enough to listen. He kept his phone in hand as he held his breath and let his thumb hover over the answer button, needing a moment to prepare himself until finally, he answered the call.

“Why is it the one time I need you, you’re not near your phone?”

He heard rustling on the opposite end – a static sound that didn’t quite belong. Yuuri’s brows hung low as he pulled the phone back, checking that the call was still going. There seemed to be nothing wrong. He had signal, and the call continued, but the static noise remained. It continued its blaring cry, ringing through Yuuri’s ear until in a sudden moment, the call plunged into silence.

Yuuri hasn’t realized he was holding his breath. His wide-eyed stare refused to turn away from the call, startled by the events that took place. He didn’t know what to think, or do, but the call didn’t seem to end. He pressed the phone against his ear.

“Uh,” he cleared his throat. “Hello?”

“ _Yuuri_?”

The sound of Phichit’s voice was heaven, and Yuuri exhaled a fast breath of relief.

“Oh, thank god,” he sighed, pressing his hand against his chest. He wasn’t sure why he was so thankful to hear Phichit’s voice – maybe it was the peace after the abnormality, or relief that Phichit was finally in contact with him, but Yuuri was pleased. “I’ve been trying to call you.”

“ _And I assume we’re just going to ignore that weird noise that just half deafened me?”_ Phichit asked, restarting Yuuri’s rapid heartbeat all over again.

“You heard it too?”

“ _I thought I had no signal, but the call would have dropped. How weird was that?!_ ”

Yuuri aimlessly stared ahead as he hummed – straight towards the room where the alien still laid. “Yeah,” he muttered, “It’s weird.”

“ _Well, now that excitement’s over, you called me?_ ”

“What?” Yuuri asked, and it took him a moment to realize what Phichit was reminding him. He slapped his hand against his forehead. “Crap, yeah. It’s typical that the _one_ time I need you for an emergency is the one time you’re not near your phone.”

Yuuri sat down at the table in his kitchen as Phichit’s voice spoke through the speakers; “ _I cherish my child, Yuuri_ ,” he explained, prompting Yuuri to roll his eyes. “ _I’d rather leave my phone outside of the bathroom and miss calls than bring it in and risk water damage. What kind of a parent do you think I am?_ ”

While Yuuri appreciated the humour, it didn’t help. He was neither in the mood to laugh or to follow it on with another joke. He had too much on his mind, things that had fallen from the stars and landed in Yuuri’s arms. There was an _alien_ to tend to. This was beyond a normal emergency.

“Phichit…” Yuuri sighed. He could feel the seriousness in his voice – his words. “I have something important I need to tell you, and I want you to promise me that you won’t tell a soul about this, okay?”

He hadn’t realized he was up and pacing, not until he saw the alien come in and out of view as he marched past the door. He stopped for a moment to stare – to watch the motionless being gently breathe in his deep sleep. It was still so baffling to see how _human_ he looked, but knowing where he came from completely changed everything.

How could he explain this to Phichit?

“I won’t, I promise,” Phichit vowed as Yuuri’s nails began picking at his fingers. “Yuuri, is everything okay?”

He hesitated to speak. The words that would fall from his lips and speak the truth even had Yuuri struggle to believe, and he saw everything. He hardly believed himself; how could he ever expect Phichit to believe him too? This wasn’t something easily explained over the phone, or with a couple of texts. Yuuri needed Phichit to see this for himself. He needed him to believe Yuuri with his eyes, not with his words.

He should have more trust in his friend, and he didn’t doubt that Phichit would take some of Yuuri’s words into consideration, but this wasn’t easy to describe. He might completely believe Yuuri even without explanation, but Phichit deserved better. This wasn’t easy to explain, nor believe. It was an unlikely meeting – the impossible.

Yuuri hesitated for just a moment, but as he found the right words to say, he finally spoke.

“Are you free to come over tomorrow?”

There was a single tick of silence.

“I’ll be there by twelve.”

Yuuri couldn’t say it released all his anxious worries. It replaced a few, and pressed heavier against others, but there was a weight that was slowly lifting – a relief to know he’ll soon have some help. It might not be his best plan, but it was something. He’d rather have something than nothing.

“You are worrying me,” Phichit continued and Yuuri swallowed thickly, ignoring his racing heart. “Is everything okay?”

He could neither agree or disagree. There was a confusing middle, one that Yuuri couldn’t explain over the phone.

“You’ll understand when you arrive.”

Phichit never pressed for more, or demanded answers. They confirmed their plans for the next day and as the call ended, Yuuri found himself in a strange position. He was stuck in the middle of relief and anxiety – peace and unease. While he could say a weight had been lifted, another replaced it – a fear that asked Yuuri what Phichit could do that he couldn’t.

And knowing he couldn’t answer that did nothing to stop that anxiety from building.

He returned to his living room soon after and sat down on a free seat near the alien. In that moment of silence, it occurred to him that there was nothing he could do. He was playing a waiting game, sitting around until something happened and Yuuri didn’t enjoy it. He never liked waiting, but not knowing was worse. It was so, _so_ much worse.

But as he pulled Vicchan onto his lap, he told himself he could get through this. Whether the alien was evil and out for blood, or kind and gentle like Yuuri hoped, Vicchan would be there to keep him safe. If anything or anyone could calm his fears, Vicchan did the job.

“Well…” Yuuri sighed as he settled back in his seat. He was in for a long night. “It looks like we’re sleeping here tonight.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twooooo yay
> 
> Ok ye i know things are going a lil slow but I'm updated quick so eh I'm sure it's no bother
> 
> Things will pick up soon I promise

 

Yuuri roused from his slumber with a tight back and aching neck.

Waking up wasn’t the pleasure it should have been. He never woke up to soft sheets or comfort, but aches and pains from sleeping upright, and a tightness surrounding his body as he stretched to loosen his muscles. He couldn’t remember falling asleep. His mind was still lost in a haze of sleep, but the morning light that trickled through the blinds forced him out of his slumber, blinding him as he rubbed his knuckles onto his eyes. He’d never been a morning person.

But the moment he caught the sight of two perfectly blue eyes staring back into his own, he shot up like a cat in water.

There was no sleepiness, no slow warning. Within seconds of realizing – of _remembering_ – he was conscious and sat up straight, bug-eyed with his heart in his throat, staring face to face with the alien who shared an equally startled look.

The reminder hit Yuuri like a lightning bolt. He couldn’t believe he almost forgot about his unexpected visitor, but somewhere inside his mind, he hoped upon waking up he’d find that the alien was just a vivid dream. He had hoped he wouldn’t need to be responsible for an extra-terrestrial, but things didn’t always go his way.

The alien was no different than before. Yuuri wasn’t sure what he expected – a change of appearance, or even a disguise – but nothing had changed between the moment he fell asleep to the second he woke up. His hair held the same star-like silver, and his armour remained intact, but his eyes were new. They were a dazzling blue he had never seen before. They were an ocean, so full of life yet there was so much to discover, but Yuuri didn’t know where to begin.

“You’re… awake,” Yuuri gawked, and watched the alien nod. He would have stayed silent if he hadn’t caught Vicchan asleep on the alien’s lap, and he couldn’t stop his words as he noted, “that’s my dog.”

The alien said nothing. His eyes turned to the sleeping companion on his lap and Yuuri watched with sharp eyes. His heart was racing with uncertain, violent tugs that made him cautious of the extra-terrestrial. There was still so much to learn, and unknown intentions, and realizing that didn’t ease his building anxiety.

But when the alien smiled softly at Vicchan, Yuuri’s brows dropped.

He wanted to say something, but words failed him as he watched the alien further. It was an unexpected gentleness – a moment of peace he hadn’t been prepared for. He’d been waiting so long for the alien to prove he was a threat, but to see him with a stupid grin on his face and petting Vicchan so carefully was completely unexpected.

It was hard to believe the alien was a threat, but Yuuri wasn’t going to make that assumption so soon. He was wary, and maybe even a little frightened, but thankful that everything was going smoothly – so far.

“So, you’re uh… an alien?” Yuuri decided to question, but the alien stayed silent. He scratched his neck. “I… I don’t really know what to say. Do you even understand me?”

Silently, the alien nodded.

“Can you speak my language?”

The alien shook his head.

It would have been helpful and informative for the alien to explain everything rather than Yuuri needing to dig for information, but he’d have to cope. He had to admit his disappointment was for selfish reasons. He would have liked to hear the alien tell him all about his adventures, but unless Yuuri taught him English, or even Japanese, that couldn’t happen.

Then the alien began pointing at his lips. Yuuri watched as he drew a cross over them with his fingertips and narrowed his eyes as the alien repeated the action, but he couldn’t work out what he was trying to say. He then did it again, but pressed a finger against his lips as if to refer to silence, and it wasn’t until then that it finally hit Yuuri.

“Wait,” he gasped, and prayed his assumption wasn’t true. “You can’t speak?”

The alien shook his head as Vicchan jumped off his lap. He pulled his legs up to his chest. Yuuri exhaled a long breath and was suddenly on his feet, pacing.

He knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but he hadn’t anticipated it to be this difficult. The alien could understand him, which was a relief, but Yuuri couldn’t continue without the alien’s communication in return. He couldn’t guess what the alien was trying to tell him all the time. He’d grow tiresome and frustrated with the lack of communication, and that was all Yuuri needed right now.

“Can you write?” Yuuri stopped pacing to ask, hoping his alternatives could help, but the alien shook his head. “So, you can’t write or speak my language. You can only understand it?” The alien nodded. Yuuri swallowed thickly. “Right, right…”

And Yuuri was sat down again. He brushed his fingers through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh, trying hard to come to terms with everything. It was difficult accepting this. He’d been staring up at the stars for so long, wondering, dreaming, questioning the existence of alien life when suddenly, it was all confirmed to him in one night. It was revealed from a falling star and by a man who couldn’t utter a word.

It was all hard to believe, but too real to deny. He saw what had happened and how things came to be, but the alien was a mystery. He was a secret waiting to be revealed, but Yuuri didn’t know how to uncover it.

He opened his mouth to ask - to begin his quest to discover more - but he was stopped in his tracks as he watched the alien for a moment, captured by the curiosity in his eyes and intrigue on his face. The alien scanned the room, eyes jumping from one object to another as he took in his surroundings, unafraid to discover the world himself. Yuuri couldn’t help his smile.

But then realization hit Yuuri with a merciless tug in his chest, and his grin dropped in an instant. This was all completely new to the alien. He was on an unfamiliar planet, far from home and unable to communicate with his own voice. He was limited, lost, and Yuuri failed to realize that. He _questioned_ him like some kind of criminal, demanding answers the alien struggled to give.

He was so caught up in his own discovery that he completely ignored the aliens’, and Yuuri’s heart yearned to comfort him.

“You fell from the sky, you know,” Yuuri began as his eyes fell to his hands, anxiously playing with his nails. He didn’t know if the alien remembered that, but he wished to give him some ease – some comfort to help his own fears. “I watched you. You landed behind my home and I couldn’t leave you out there. It wouldn’t be right of me, so I hope it was okay that I took you in. I didn’t know what else to do.”

He’d been nervous that the alien didn’t appreciate his kind gesture, or misunderstood it. He didn’t know what life was like on the alien’s planet. For all he knew, inviting the alien into his home was an insult – a _threat_ – and Yuuri was crossing a line. But he reminded himself while things could be completely different on his home planet, they could also be very similar too. Yuuri was just afraid to make a mistake.

And nervously, he glanced up.

The alien’s stare was soft and delicate as he inched closer, and Yuuri took hold of his breath. He didn’t dared move a muscle, afraid the wrong move or look would flip a switch, but the alien seemed content in moving closer. He continued until he came face to face with Yuuri – until their noses nearly touched and his breath tickled Yuuri’s lips.

He flinched when cold fingers touched his face. His heart felt like it was going to burst, and his lungs were vacant of breath, but he couldn’t find the will to move as the alien’s fingertips trailed along his cheeks and nose. The touch was electric. It left tingles along Yuuri’s skin, prompting his breath to tremble and his cheeks to burn a soft pink.

The touches then moved, fingertips turning to stroke along his jawline instead. It was terrifying to know how intimate this was, and Yuuri should turn away, but he could only remind himself that the man was an alien. He was curious. He was interested in Yuuri’s world, but as a thumb stroked across his bottom lip, Yuuri couldn’t remain silent.

“W-What are you doing…?”

Yet the alien continued.

Yuuri’s breath hitched when the touches turned to his hair instead. Fingertips gently caressed across his scalp and through his locks, soothing Yuuri’s anxious thoughts with unintentional brushes. The action was less intimate, but curious as Yuuri felt the alien take strands between his fingers just to feel the softness. Yuuri couldn’t completely understand it. His curiosity felt out of place, uncertain as Yuuri noted that the alien had similar human features – _including_ hair.

A sudden knock at the door jangled Yuuri’s nerves as he pounced back. His eyes shot to the door, fear trembling through his fingers until a memory returned to him – a conversation he had the day before. He completely forgot he asked Phichit over.

“Shit,” he muttered as he jumped to his feet, and he ran a hand through his hair as he spun to face the alien. “Okay, listen. I’ve asked for someone to come over and, well…”

He paused, unsure why he felt the need to explain his plans with the alien, but then he realized why when he caught his frightful stare. Fear clouded over as his fingers tightly gripped the couch, and Yuuri hesitated to say anything else. He was afraid to make this worse, but the alien needed reassurance. He needed comfort.

“He won’t hurt you,” Yuuri explained, and watching his shoulders ease helped lift Yuuri’s own tension. “He’s just here to help me work a few things out. He might be a little… surprised by you, like I was, but it’ll be fine, trust me.”

A knock was heard again but the alien didn’t seem so afraid anymore. His reluctance remained on his face - uncertain as he stared towards the door with heavy brows, and Yuuri stayed put. He wasn’t going to move until the alien gave him the go-ahead.

And as the alien sighed heavily, he pointed at the door before nodding his head. Yuuri nodded too, and as he turned, he took a deep breath, preparing himself. He wasn’t sure what he was most nervous about: Phichit being afraid of the alien, or telling Yuuri something he didn’t want to hear, but with another heavy breath, he was finally ready.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, what you’re saying is that _he_ ,” Phichit pointed towards the alien still sat on Yuuri’s couch, now taking interest in a radio he found. “He is an alien?”

Yuuri wasn’t sure where he found the radio.

“Yeah,” he nodded, nervously chewing on his nails. “He’s an alien.”

He already explained everything to Phichit. Not a single detail was missed as Yuuri told him everything from his arrival to his intrigue – his confusion and uncertainty, and to Yuuri’s surprise, Phichit took it rather well. There were a few moments of surprise. There were times where shock silenced his friend’s words as he contemplated everything he was being told, but he always came around. He listened and waited, allowing Yuuri to tell his story without interruption.

That was how they found themselves stood at the doorway to his living room, watching the alien as he tinkered with the radio. Yuuri had already grown accustomed to the sight, but the wonder in Phichit’s eyes reminded him that this was all completely new for his friend too. He was afraid of his excitement, and burst of questions he expected Phichit to ask, but he trusted his friend not to push too hard.

“I-I don’t know what to say or do, but this is so cool!” Phichit squealed with a stupid grin on his face. Yuuri tried hard to bite back his own. “This is – is rare. It’s like winning the lottery, or getting struck by lightning. Yuuri, you’ve really hit a jackpot here. And he’s _hot_ too!”

“He can understand you.”

“He can?!” Phichit gasped, and Yuuri nodded along with the alien who turned his gaze to meet Phichit’s. There was a small grin on his face – a knowing smirk that made Phichit exhale an exhausted breath. “Oh, fantastic. I’ve already embarrassed myself in front of the alien.”

“I think he took it as a compliment anyway,” Yuuri pondered aloud, and the alien’s nod confirmed his guess.

But Phichit didn’t seem to notice – or care anymore – as he change the subject. “Wait, hold up,” he raised a hand, stopping Yuuri from saying anything else. “So, he can’t speak or write in our language, but he can understand us?”

“Yes,” Yuuri nodded.”

“Oh, that’s great!” Phichit smiled, seeming a little too happy about that, so Yuuri thought. “Imagine how difficult it would be to communicate if he couldn’t. At least he can understand us.”

“Yes, but _how_ ,” Yuuri hissed quietly by his friend’s ear, staying as silent as he could without the alien hearing him. “Everything is telling me that he’s friendly, but how can he understand us if he can’t speak or write like we can? What if he’s putting on an act and pretending to be friendly?”

Yuuri had to admit he was beginning to grow paranoid, but he believed he had every reason to be. The thought came to mind as he was telling Phichit everything, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it since. _How_ the alien could understand English was something Yuuri couldn’t work out. He had a few theories – a couple of ideas that made sense, but nothing seemed to satisfy his need for answers.

And when Phichit rolled his eyes at Yuuri’s paranoia, he crossed his arms with a huff. It didn’t help him feel any better.

“I think you’re exaggerating a little.”

Yuuri huffed. “But what happens if he’s dangerous?”

But as their eyes turned back to the alien, he had lost interest in the broken radio. His attention was on Viccan again. The companion was asleep on his lap as he petted him with soft eyes and a warm grin on his face.

Yuuri was always told not to judge a book by its cover, but it was hard not to do that when the alien was too _gentle_ in Yuuri’s suspecting eyes. He hated to admit it - or he didn’t; it was mostly a relief - but Phichit was right.

And in the corner of his eye, Yuuri could see his friend sniggering to himself.

“Yeah, because he’s _really_ looking to take over the world.”

Yuuri huffed and slapped his friends arm in response. “Don’t be so mean,” he complained before crossing his arms, pouting. “But okay, _fine_. I may have exaggerated a little.”

“I think a little is an understatement.”

“ _But_ that doesn’t help me figure out what to do with him,” Yuuri continued, ignoring Phichit’s comment again.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s an _alien_ , Phichit,” Yuuri began as he dragged him into the kitchen. He needed privacy, and while he trusted the alien not to eavesdrop – not that the conversation would be bad – he didn’t want him to misunderstand his worries. “I can’t go around announcing his arrival. I can’t ask anyone for help. He’s not from this world and I don’t know what kind of people are looking for him now he’s arrived, or how dangerous they might be.”

Yuuri watched the moment the realization hit Phichit like a ton of bricks. “Shit, that’s true,” he muttered under his breath. “I don’t think you’re the only person who saw him fall, but if he looked like a shooting star like you said, he might be safe. He might be undetected, but I’m certain the government is already on their way to investigate.”

Yuuri’s heart missed a beat, and he began chewing his nails again. “You think so?”

“This wouldn’t go under their noses. You might be able to keep him hidden, but I’m sure they’re going to begin searching for _something_ extra-terrestrial.”

Yuuri stopped chewing his nails to begin gnawing at his bottom lip, but it wasn’t enough.

“What do I do, Phichit?”

Phichit was silent for a moment, thinking. Yuuri’s nerves were fraying by the second, setting his heart to race and his mind to demand an answer. He needed a fast solution – an explanation to satisfy his desire to know what to do, otherwise, he feared he’d lose himself to desperation.

“You’re probably not going to like what I’m about to suggest,” Phichit began, and Yuuri already didn’t like it. “But there isn’t anything else you can do. I think you just need to look after him until this is all forgotten, or until he finds a way home.”

“You’re right. I don’t like it.”

He didn’t mean to sound rude. It wasn’t what he hoped to hear, but he wasn’t entirely sure _what_ he wanted to hear.

“But what else can you do?” Phichit asked, knowing Yuuri couldn’t answer. “He might not be a threat to you, me, or anyone else out there, but _they’re_ not going to believe that. If they find him, who knows what they might do to him. He just needs somebody to keep him out of trouble and care for him while we wait for this to settle down. He’ll need the help. This isn’t his home.”

The worst part wasn’t admitting that Phichit was right, or suddenly being forced to be responsible for extra-terrestrial life. He accepted that when he allowed the alien into his home. It was knowing that bad people could get their hands on him. It was knowing how terrible they’d treat him, and what they would do to discover more about his kind. It was the horrible truth. Yuuri didn’t want to think about it.

There was only one thing left to do, and Phichit explained it well. Yuuri had no choice but to look after the alien. While the future was unclear, and Yuuri was afraid to mess up, he promised he’d do the best he can.

“I should let him stay, shouldn’t I?”

Phichit said nothing as he nodded, and Yuuri sighed heavily with his fingers through his hair. This was a heavy responsibility to take on. There was a lot that could go wrong, but so much that could go right; Yuuri didn’t know what to think. He wanted to keep the alien hidden under a blanket and protect him from the hurt and horrors the world could expose him to. There was so much to protect him from, but he deserved his freedom too.

A pair of soft hands suddenly curled around his waist, and Yuuri tensed at the feeling of someone pressed against his back. He didn’t need to look to know it was the alien. There was nobody else who would do this, but Yuuri swallowed thickly at the feeling. His heart was thumping so hard, he’d be surprised if the alien couldn’t feel it.

“Are-are you okay?” He asked, clearing his voice to avoid its tremble. The alien nodded against his shoulder. Yuuri let out a quick breath. “Okay, good. That’s – that’s good.”

The look Phichit gave him was nothing but amused, and Yuuri shot him a glare. He knew exactly what was going through his friend’s mind, but the touches didn’t change anything. He couldn’t deny that he enjoyed them too, even if they _did_ surprise him, but knowing the alien yearned for affection tugged at Yuuri’s heart.

The alien couldn’t say it, but he didn’t need words to tell Yuuri he needed his help. It was in the touches – in the looks that gave it away, and Yuuri would be damned if he’d just ignore that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention I might make a spotify playlist with all the songs these chapters are quoted after
> 
> I also plan to write a pirate/royalty au when this is done and I. AM. EXCITED!!!  
> (It totally hasnt been in my mind for like, months. nope. totally not)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Another cloudy day. Another observation._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ffffffffffffff schedule what schedule?

**** Yuuri knew what he agreed to. He knew his promise to help the alien as much as he could – that if the alien needed it, Yuuri could be there to give it.

The first few days went reasonably well, to Yuuri’s surprise. Phichit left Yuuri to his own devices after giving him a talk of reassurance, and promised he’d pay a visit every so often. It lifted Yuuri’s spirit as he reminded him that yes, he’ll be okay and yes, Phichit  _ will _ answer his phone next time. He believed him, almost, but Yuuri could only do his best.

Where he expected the worst, he realized somewhere along the way that the alien didn’t really do much, and that Yuuri’s worrying was pointless. The most the alien did was eat when Yuuri offered him food, play with Vicchan and tinker with the radio - that was all. He didn’t even complain when Yuuri removed the band-aids from his forehead.

Yuuri did, however, decide not to mention that the alien’s wound healed faster than anticipated. Where he expected to see the alien’s blue blood, there was only a thin line left behind, a mark on his near-flawless skin painted a pale blue from his blood, but Yuuri didn’t fret…  _ much _ . As long as the wound healed, Yuuri had nothing to worry about.

The alien was practically the perfect house guest. He was neither a nuisance or a bother; he was just… there.

But as the days went by and paranoia set in, Yuuri couldn’t ignore the itching feeling that told him this was a bad idea, and how he was putting himself into a world of trouble that he couldn’t escape from if caught.

He was being unreasonable. Yuuri knew that. There were no signs to indicate any oncoming danger, and no reason to suddenly fear the unknown, but it was eating away at his brain. The constant ‘but what if?’ refused to leave his mind, nestling itself in plain sight so Yuuri could never forget it.

And soon, the paranoia twisted his certainty into doubt. He second guessed his decision to help. He told himself he was making a mistake, that this wasn’t his fight to get involved in and he’d regret it in due time. It was a constant beating at his brain, a repetitive reminder that forced his fears to return to him, and Yuuri remembered every reason why he so afraid to help.

This was either the biggest mistake he will make in his life, or he’ll be waiting long enough for it to become one.

“You’ve always been terrible at hiding how you’re really feeling.”

And as Yuuri met Phichit’s concerned stare, the temptation to shout at him was appealing.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lied so blatantly; he could even hear it in his own voice. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.”

Phichit raised a doubtful brow while Yuuri turned away, suddenly more interested in his coffee. He didn’t need to hear any lectures or talks to convince him he was okay. He’d rather just hide under his bed sheets until the world forgot his name and his face was a distant memory.

“And I’m also an alien from out of space, but we both know that’s a lie too.”

Yuuri huffed hard, cursing Phichit’s ability to read him so easily.

“Listen, even if I do have a problem, I might not want to talk about it,” Yuuri told, hoping it would be enough to veer Phichit away from the conversation and onto something else. “It’s just my own stupid self-doubt and anxiety, so nothing I haven’t dealt with before. I’ll be fine.”

There was a stifling silence, one that lasted longer than Yuuri would’ve liked.

“You’re juggling.”

Yuuri raised a brow. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen it before,” Phichit replied, and Yuuri paused to think back to the last time he ‘juggled’. He couldn’t recall a moment. “You do this thing. One minute, you’re absolutely certain about something and you seem so confident. And then the next, you’ve doubted every inch of yourself. You’ve convinced yourself otherwise.”

If Yuuri hadn’t done it once already, he was cursing Phichit again, wishing he wasn’t so good at reading him.

“I’ve seen it before,” Phichit repeated, “and I know what you’re like. You and I both know you’re better off talking about it, so I’d start talking if I were you. Otherwise, you’ll spiral down again.”

Yuuri could deny it all he wanted. He could reject Phichit’s offer and continue to lie to himself until his anxiety hit hard and he was back at rock bottom, but Yuuri refused to let that happen again. He couldn’t fall back into that state, that mental breakdown that tore him to pieces. It would kill him – both inside and out.

He could deny it, but he’d be doing nobody a favour.

“I’m just afraid.” The hardest part was admitting it, but it was no easier talking about it. “I was fine at first, and the alien isn’t a problem, but I realized how much trouble this can cause. I feel like I’m walking straight into trouble, or I’m waiting around long enough for it to happen. I’m looking after an alien like he’s a fugitive. I’m already treating him like he’ll be caught any second and being completely unaware of any unseen danger… it’s killing me. I know everything seems like he’s gone undetected, but that could be exactly what  _ they _ want us to think, right?”

Yuuri was terrified of the unknown. He recalled back to their conversation, back when Phichit first met the alien, and remembered his claim that the government was already searching. His words replayed in Yuuri’s mind like a loop, constant and loud, making sure he’d never forget.

But that was all Yuuri wanted – to forget, and ignore everything that threatened his way of life.

“I’m not going to lie to you, but it is a possibility,” Phichit agreed. It wasn’t quite the reassurance Yuuri needed – in fact, it made him feel worse – but he appreciated the honesty. “We can get caught. You knew that the moment you agreed to this. I knew that when I told you to let him stay. We are both completely aware of the danger, but I think you also know that between the three of us, we’ll at least come out of this alive.”

The thought hadn’t occurred to him. The alien was an extra-terrestrial – a being from another world – and Yuuri had seen enough movies to know what they’d do if he was caught. He had assumptions, and guesses, and all told him that the alien would be used for the world's own selfish gain – or worse. He didn’t like thinking about that, but the truth couldn’t be ignored.

The alien deserved more than that. It wasn’t what humanity should show to a visitor, but how could someone like Yuuri ever stop that from happening?

“You’re doubting yourself again.”

Yuuri sighed hard, curling his arms around his head as his forehead rested against the table. “This is big,” he groaned, voice muffled by his arms and the table. “This is… bigger than us. It’s huge and gigantic and  _ enormous _ and – and…”

“And it could be the smallest, tiniest incident you could ever face?” Phichit continued, causing Yuuri to fall silent as he raised his head, staring blankly back at his friend. “It’s like you said, he could have gone undetected. All this fear could be for nothing.”

“Could – keyword,” Yuuri pointed out.

“So you at least accept that he might not be found, since you somewhat agree that he  _ could _ have gone unnoticed?”

Yuuri didn’t blink for a minute – at least.

“I don’t like it when you do that,” Yuuri said with the straightest face he could muster, but Phichit’s laugh made it difficult to bite back his own.

“Because you know I’m right,” Phichit replied. Yuuri turned away, deciding he’d rather not give Phichit the satisfaction, but his smile was contagious, and Yuuri’s own broke free. “You’re letting your paranoia and anxiety get to you.”

“It’s what I do,” Yuuri joked, hoping to turn the conversation somewhat light-hearted after admitting his fears, anxieties and doubts. It felt nice to smile after all that; even if it didn’t feel completely real. It was better than nothing.

But the more Yuuri thought about it – about Phichit’s words and his own emotions – it was beginning to dawn on him that although his fears were valid, and he had every right to worry, he never allowed himself to look at the bigger picture. He never stopped to realize that there might be a reason why there were no signs of oncoming danger. It made sense why he hadn’t seen anyone investigate the aliens crash site, or question him if he’d seen anything unusual around.

Where Yuuri had feared bad people finding the alien, he never stopped to wonder if the bad people even knew he was here.

The alien was as human as Yuuri, and Phichit, and everyone else who lived and breathed on planet Earth. He was as close to a human as an alien could be. He was lucky to have such a close resemblance, and the more Yuuri thought about it, he realized he had the advantage.

Even if people  _ had  _ seen him fall from the sky, nobody knew what the alien looked like.

“I assume you’ve finally made sense of it now?”

Yuuri scrubbed a hand over his face as he nodded. “We’ve got the benefit of him looking human,” Yuuri began, “and I know nobody was at that crash site. It was just me and Vicchan, meaning only you and I know that the alien looks like. That’s… got our backs, at least.”

“I knew you could make sense of it.” Phichit’s smile was reassuring, and Yuuri finally believed he’d be alright. “You just needed to be reminded of that confidence you had.”

“I’ve always had it. It just… gets overwhelmed by everything else.” Phichit already knew that, but Yuuri needed to say it out loud – for himself, mostly. The reassurance was needed, and Yuuri exhaled a long breath.

But then something shifted in his brain, and it occurred to him that there was a piece missing – an absence of the being they’d just been talking about.

“Where’s the alien?”

A wave of panic shuddered through him as he stood to his feet, eyes glued towards the living room where the alien was previously at. He shouldn’t need to worry. He left him at his usual spot on the couch, entertained by an ocean documentary while he and Phichit spoke in private, but upon entering the room, Yuuri was too aware of his absence.

“He can’t have gone far,” Phichit commented, but it was a pitiful attempt at calming Yuuri’s heart. “We would have heard him if he left, and it’s not like he’d just walk off without you.”

But Yuuri stopped listening.

He didn’t hesitate as he spun on his heel and strode through the rest of his home, scrambling to search through each and every room at top speed. And with every door opened, Yuuri’s frantic heart pounded just that little bit harder. His panting breath jumped out of him, strangling his lungs with no mercy. Yuuri needed to find him.

Phichit was trying to talk sense into him. He could hear his voice, the reassuring tone that told him how everything was okay and how nobody had found the alien, but Yuuri couldn’t believe him. The house was too silent. There was no shuffling of his feet, or quiet appearance as he hugs Yuuri for no reason. It was as if he upped and vanished, and Yuuri couldn’t make sense of the world anymore.

As he made it to the last room in his search – his bedroom – and found no sign of the alien anywhere, the crushing weight of his heart nearly had him drop to his knees, but what stopped him was the silent clanging of metal. He stopped for a moment, listened again, and Yuuri faced the source of the noise.

It was coming from his closet. And for a short moment, Yuuri’s heart calmed. It eased as he stepped forward, and the moment he opened the closet door, the sight he was faced with had him at a complete loss for words.

He found the alien. He was alive and well and Yuuri couldn’t be happier, but the mess he made of Yuuri’s closet had him pause. He recognized the radio pulled to pieces, and his microwave scrapped for parts, but Yuuri couldn’t tell what it was he held in his hands. The strange device was unearthly - a rectangular box with buttons and an antenna, and a screen with green code written in a language that didn’t exist on his planet. 

He tried hard to identify what it could be, but then he found himself trying to stifle back a laugh.

He was trying to stop questioning the alien’s actions, but finding him hiding in a closet with a broken radio, Yuuri’s microwave, and a strange device in hand didn’t help the alien prove Yuuri otherwise.

And Phichit just laughed.

“Uh…” Yuuri began, a little lost for words. “What’cha doing in there?”

As predicted, the alien said nothing. He stared at Yuuri, blue eyes wide as he mutely shook his head, denying anything was happening inside that closet. It was the biggest lie Yuuri had seen, but he’d been saying plenty of those today himself; he had no room to talk.

“Do you want to be left alone?” Phichit then asked with a hint of laughter still in his voice, and as the alien nodded, Yuuri reluctantly closed the door.

Behind him, he could still hear his friend trying hard to bite back his laughter. Yuuri didn’t need to look at Phichit to know he was giving him a look, and he was pointing his finger towards his friend before he could say another word.

“Don’t,” Yuuri warned. “Don’t say a thing.”

“I’m not,” Phichit defended, but his smile said it all. “But all I _ am _ going to say is that you’ve got one hell of an alien to look after.”

Yuuri couldn’t deny that. The alien certainly had character, and as he turned to look towards the closet, listening to the silent shuffling from the alien inside, he couldn’t help but smile.

He wasn’t sure why he was so afraid anymore. His fears were valid and reasonable and very, very real, but in that moment, they were easily forgotten. And for a moment Yuuri wondered perhaps caring for the alien wouldn’t be so bad after all.

* * *

 

 

Yuuri wasn’t sure what the alien had done -  _ if _ he had done anything - but since his arrival, things were acting… strange.

He didn’t notice it to begin with. The abnormality surrounding his home was a gradual build, slowly making itself known and aware and Yuuri was frustrated with himself for letting it go over his head. And for how long, he had no excuse besides ignorance.

He should have seen it sooner. The phone call with Phichit moments after the alien arrived went unnoticed. The static noise was forgotten, ignored, and Yuuri didn’t think about it until it happened again when he made a call to his family. The noise returned. It deafened him, screaming an instant reminder in his ear until he hung up and tried again, finally able to speak to them without trouble.

And that happened again. It happened more often than it should’ve.

He wasn’t particularly concerned about it, at the time. His phone had done strange things before. He just added it to its list of errors, but when the issue progressed and everything else had taken a strange turn too, Yuuri stopped ignoring it. He began to notice things.

There were benefits to the issues. There were times Yuuri found the alien watching a show from a channel that never existed before. He discovered new radio stations from the strange device he made, those which were hidden under the radar and bizarre with the content they spoke about. His internet seemed to improve too. It was faster, quicker than he ever remembered. Those were the little benefits Yuuri noticed – the improvements he wouldn’t argue against.

But there were things which frightened him too. There were issues that nervously twisted his gut, reminding him of the silent unknown that lingered in his mind. There were things which didn’t add up.

When he looked past the improvements, he became aware of the real issues.

His electricity suffered from minor malfunctions. It fluctuated between working fine to working  _ too _ well, then not at all, and Yuuri grew worried. When his phone refused to connect to calls, instead opting to scream a static shriek in his ear, it had him nervous. 

But when he caught the fluorescent glow on the alien’s space suit shining brighter than he’d ever seen, vibrant and vivid while the lightbulb above tediously flickered, Yuuri had a thought.

It might’ve been a stretch to assume, but Yuuri had to wonder that,  _ possibly _ , it was the alien’s suit causing all the hassle.

He wasn’t certain. It was an assumption he was reluctant to believe but the more he thought about it, the better it made sense. It answered the questions he couldn’t find answers to, and gave reason to his confused, baffled mind. It explained why the alien was so intrigued by human technology. It answered why everything had taken a strange turn upon his arrival, and why his suit reacted to malfunctions when they happened.

It gave reason to Yuuri’s uncertainty when he searched for the alien one evening after a power cut and found him sat in the kitchen, strange device in hand and his suit glowing blindingly bright, listening to a radio station Yuuri last heard in Japan - a radio station from  _ across the globe _ . There were things Yuuri could ignore, but this he couldn’t let go.

In theory, it made sense, and Yuuri found the confidence to finally ask him, “does your suit have strange abilities or something?”

But out loud, he sounded like an idiot.

The look the alien gave him was the least bit reassuring. He held his stare, raising a brow while his lips twitched into a smirk, almost laughing at his sudden burst of words but Yuuri couldn’t help himself. He needed to ask, otherwise, he might never find out.

He wasted enough time avoiding questions, and he refused to allow himself to do it again.

“I’m being serious,” Yuuri crossed his arms and the alien’s smile dropped – surprise replacing his humour. “I’ve been thinking about it... I’ve been thinking about it  _ a lot _ actually, and all these technical faults never happened until you arrived. I didn’t know what to think about it, but it wasn’t until… your suit it – it reacts to it. It seems to know when the malfunctions happen, and I’m certain it’s the cause of it.”

The alien looked down, eyes scanning over the steel-grey armour wrapped around his body. He never changed out of it. Yuuri couldn’t recall a time where the alien wore the clothes he laid out for him every morning, or undress in any way. He only ever stayed in his suit.

“I don’t know much about your technology, as I’m sure you’re already aware.” He didn’t need the alien to agree with him as he watched him nod. “But I’ve been trying to piece it together, and this is the only thing that made sense to me. I’ve been thinking and learning and – and I can’t decide what’s true. I don’t know if that’s the clothes you wear or your space suit or what, but I’ve given myself too many headaches trying to work it out and I just need some answers.”

Yuuri exhaled a heavy breath, exhausted after his rambled outburst. He held a stare on the alien who neither agreed or disagreed with him. He stayed silent, as expected, and Yuuri didn’t know what to expect next. He was a helpless human who was just as curious as the alien. He wanted answers - he  _ needed  _ them. 

“You’ve never taken it off since you arrived,” he continued, suddenly questioning if the alien showered in the thing - did the alien shower? “Uh, this might sound weird, but… can you take it off?”

The alien’s expression held a little too much delight as he nodded. He jumped from his seat, pushing the strange device aside as it began scrambling between different radio stations. And the moment he let go, the electricity returned - burning bright and fine like it should’ve been while his suit dimmed to a faint glow, but Yuuri had no time to question that as the alien grabbed his hand, tugging him out of the room.

His joyfulness was unexpected, as was his eagerness to guide Yuuri into the living room. He pondered if his excitement was to show Yuuri how his own technology worked, and Yuuri found no reason to complain. He liked it when the alien smiled.

The alien continued giving no clues as he dragged Yuuri towards the couch. He pushed his shoulders down, making him sit where the alien wanted him as he stepped back. Yuuri watched, intrigued by the show the alien was going to give him. He imagined many scenarios after asking the alien about his suit, and this was certainly none of them, so he sat back with nervous fingers playing with the hem of his shirt, and watched.

The alien stood still for a moment; anticipation filled the air as Yuuri’s heart raced with eagerness. He raised a finger to tap the core in the centre of his chest, and Yuuri watched, wide eyed and waiting for something to happen. As the seconds ticked by, nothing changed, and Yuuri wasn’t sure exactly what the alien was trying to show him.

But before Yuuri could get a word out, the suit began to shift. It moved, twisted, and morphed along the alien’s arms and legs. Tiny specs of steel curled in on itself, revealing beneath all the armour the black mesh along his skin, and that began to evaporate too. It moved from the tips of his fingers and along his arms – from his toes to his legs – showing parts of the alien Yuuri had ever seen before.

Yuuri’s heart was racing, and nerves tugged deep below as more skin was revealed, but as he watched the suit continue to move with little signs of slowing down, he stopped to think; if the alien wore armour, what did he wear underneath?

And that question was quickly answered with a silent squeak and a burning blush along Yuuri’s cheeks.

“Oh,  _ fuck! _ You’re naked!” He gasped, covering his eyes as he turned his head away.

It wasn’t quite enough to distract his mind from the image that stayed, and there was a little shame in allowing himself to take another peak, but he was only human. He couldn’t help his nosiness, especially as he reminded himself that the alien was an alien. He was taking another look simply to investigate; and nothing more.

It was the biggest lie he ever convinced himself.

Phichit was right when he said the alien was hot, but that was an understatement. The alien was  _ gorgeous _ . It was the perfect sculpture of his body, the delicacy in his features and beautiful, flawless skin that held Yuuri’s stare. The alien was a man made of silver and stars – a being so carefully crafted, it was amazing how he never broke under the pressure of his fall.

“I…” Yuuri swallowed thickly – his voice lost behind the soft lump in his throat. “…Wow.”

He had nothing else to say, and the alien’s smile said it all.

He soon snapped back into some sense and order when he watched the alien reach for the core sat on his chest. It wasn’t embedded into his skin like Yuuri had assumed. It was stuck on like a sticker, and easily removable as the alien pulled it off, placing it on the coffee table like it didn’t have an entire space suit sat inside.

Yuuri had so much to ask yet he struggled to say a word. The alien’s face, his features, everything about him appeared to be human. He was no different to Yuuri, besides his blue blood, and seeing his body as naked as the day he was born, Yuuri finally caught the obvious differences.

His veins were silver like his blood had been mixed with stardust. They stood out stronger than Yuuri’s own, travelling along his arms in detailed patterns rather than reckless veins. They stretched up and across his chest, circling where his core once sat, and Yuuri couldn’t believe it was his blood. He’d seen it before and he bled blue, but as he eyed the core and forced his brain to work, he pondered the relation. He wondered the cause, and if the suit had something to do with it.

He didn’t know, but he had more important matters to attend to – important… very  _ naked _ matters.

“Right, uh… right…” Yuuri cleared his throat. He grabbed the blanket on the couch and held it up to cover the alien’s very naked body from his sight before wrapping it around him. “Right, let’s just… let’s keep you out of that suit and we’ll go find you some clothes.”

He ignored the alien’s pout as they moved to Yuuri’s bedroom. It was times like this he was thankful he lived alone – minus Vicchan, who began playfully tugging at the blanket dragging behind the alien. He shot him a glare, but there was absolutely no reason why he didn’t tell Vicchan off. None.

He was already searching through his clothes by the time the alien came walking in, without the blanket to cover him and naked once again. Yuuri spun back, face burning as he threw the alien the first thing he grabbed - a random pair of pants and a shirt.

“Let me know when you’re dressed.”

A silence filled the space between them, but Yuuri didn’t dare turn just yet. He was being too obvious – too  _ desperate _ . Yuuri wished to show a little decency towards the alien’s physique and it wasn’t until the alien tapped his shoulder that he turned, meeting eyes with the alien finally in some human clothes.

His pants fitted fine, but Yuuri had plenty to say about the shirt.

It was one of Yuuri’s buttoned shirts, but it didn’t quite fit his frame the same way it did Yuuri. It was tight around his torso; even with the top buttons undone, and it was hard not to stare at the alien’s exposed chest. Yuuri unwittingly licked his lips and ignored the mouth-watering desire lingering on his tongue, instead choosing to find a more fitting shirt for the alien.

He made a mental note to take the alien shopping at some point. He couldn’t afford much but the alien needed more fitting clothes to wear, but Yuuri then questioned how much longer he was going to stay for, and whether it would be worth it. He tried hard not to think about the alien’s potential departure. It was never so kind to his heart, thinking so, but he had to be realistic.

He ignored the thought by searching through his clothes again, but soft arms wrapped around his waist and he came to a frozen halt. He knew exactly who it was yet he was hesitant to look back. There was nothing but strong arms holding him close, warm breath touching his skin, and Yuuri’s heart was doing flips.

“W-What are you doing?” Yuuri asked, and didn’t quite believe him when he felt the alien shake his head. It couldn’t be nothing, but Yuuri’s pounding heart held back the question that asked if it was something.

He had other things he should focus on - more important matters that required keeping the alien dressed as he pulled back to begin stripping, setting Yuuri’s heart ablaze as he scrambled to keep the alien in some clothes.

But regardless of Yuuri’s horror, he couldn’t help but laugh. If the alien kept this up, he’d be the eventual, and inevitable, death of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri we know you like him stop trying to hide it


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Heaven and Earth have finally aligned_
> 
> _Days are good and that's the way it should be._

It had been three weeks since the alien crash landed into Yuuri’s life, and he was learning a little more about him day by day.

He was… interesting, to say the least. Yuuri never met someone quite like him before – someone so curious and interested in his world; it was unearthly, but as expected from an alien, Yuuri wasn’t surprised.

He enjoyed hugging. He liked to touch and prod and feel things that were soft, and Yuuri was no exception. He grew a particular interest in Yuuri’s hair. He found every reason to comb his fingers through the locks, touch it when he had the chance and play with the strands like he was just enjoying the texture. 

Yuuri didn’t know what to think, but among the many things he discovered, this wasn’t the strangest.

And yet, Yuuri couldn’t decide which  _ was _ the strangest. There was mostly confusion and misunderstanding. His actions were bizarre, but that was expected, and Yuuri often had to remind himself that the alien was, in fact, an alien. He was just as confused as Yuuri, and lost on a strange world; he didn’t need Yuuri’s judgement alongside his attempt to discover the world.

So Yuuri stopped questioning the alien’s peculiar interests, no matter how strange they were. He stopped wondering why the alien clung onto his weird device like it was a toy, or why he observed human technology with lingering stares and thoughtful expressions. He let the alien discover the world alone, and if he wished to ask Yuuri for assistance, he’d be there to give it.

But there were things Yuuri  _ had _ to question – things he needed to think about for the alien’s well-being. He had no choice on the matter.

Yuuri was  _ positive _ that the alien didn’t sleep. There were far too many mornings where Yuuri woke up to find the alien sat on his bed, hands clasped in his lap as he waited for Yuuri to wake up. And then there were nights where Yuuri would wake up at a stupid time in the morning, stumble downstairs for a drink to find the alien  _ still _ awake, and not with a single ounce of exhaustion on his face

He was picky with his food too. He didn’t enjoy rich flavours or spices, but his taste was similar to his interest - soft and simple. He liked eating pancakes in the morning, noodles and rice, and well-cooked vegetables that melted in his mouth. He liked food that was bland in taste, but soft to eat, and Yuuri was thankful for his easy-to-cook diet. 

But given everything he’s discovered thus far, it wasn’t enough to satisfy his need to learn more. There was a voice inside the alien’s mind, words unspoken and truths to be told, and Yuuri was always one small step towards another discovery. He was one question and multiple guesses away from learning something new.

“Why haven’t you tried telling me your name yet?”

And if Yuuri could decipher the alien’s name, he’d achieve the impossible.

The alien gave Yuuri a look, one that roughly translated as a reminder of his silent voice as he drew a cross over his mouth to ensure Yuuri remembered. And he did; he could never forget, but he hoped the alien would find a way to tell.

“I know you can’t say it, but I hoped maybe you could have… found a way or, uh…” he trailed off, clearing his throat as he scratched the back of his neck, realizing just how silly his question had been. He couldn’t hide the embarrassment creeping up his face. “Uh… never mind.”

Perhaps it was wishful thinking, or maybe Yuuri truly was an idiot who expected too much from the alien, but it seemed important to ask at some point. He’d gone too long with no way to address the alien and Yuuri was growing sick of it. He had a name. There was an identity, just no way to tell it.

And during his pondering, the alien poked his cheek for attention before taking Yuuri’s wrist, encouraging him up from his seat to join him on the couch instead.

Yuuri joined him with the intention to question further, but when the alien’s head rested on his lap, he was suddenly too aware of his nervous hands and where to put them. He stared, heart pounding, but the twitch of his fingers was the only hint that a thought was going through his mind – a heavy desire that urged him to brush them through the alien’s soft hair.

But he resisted the urge. He pushed the craving aside with a long breath, diverting his gaze towards Vicchan instead as he recalled his original intentions.

“I-I could try to guess your name?” Yuuri suggested, disappointed he allowed his voice to tremble but the alien didn’t seem to notice. If he had, he didn’t show it. “Maybe if you write it in your language, I could take a hint from that?”

It was a long shot, and the alien gave him a doubtful shrug, but it was a start.

Yuuri’s hand was taken by soft fingers. He stayed silent as he watched. The alien held up his hand, thumbs stroking across his palm before pressing a finger against the skin as he began to write. The light graze of his fingertip tickled Yuuri’s skin, and his heart was pounding too hard to focus on the words being written, but he was aware of the unfamiliar lettering – the alien language written across his skin.

And when the alien stopped to look up at Yuuri, he had no words to say in response.

“Right…” He trailed off, blinking hard to regain his thoughts. The alien’s sigh of defeat explained it all. “Yeah, I know, but I figured it was worth a try.”

The alien showed nothing in response. He turned his eyes away, settled on the ceiling while Yuuri exhaled a long and tired breath. His idiotic decision to try to chase a question he struggled to find an answer to had embarrassment burn through him. He felt stupid for even trying, and he mentally cursed himself.

But where his mind wandered into mental insults, he was completely unaware of his travelling hand reaching for the alien's hair. It never processed until the gentle caress of the alien’s locks slipped between his fingers, and Yuuri tense. He hesitated to move, afraid continuing would spark a reaction, but pulling away would alert him too and Yuuri remained frozen.

But the alien’s eyes were open. They stared towards him and Yuuri stuttered over muted words, unable to explain his actions/

He found he didn’t need to say anything in the end. The alien gave a nod, and gently took hold of Yuuri’s wrist, encouraging him to keep going. And Yuuri did; his self-indulgence finally satisfied as he continued to brush the alien’s hair. It’s softer than it looked, and cleaner than he expected it to be. There’s a moment where Yuuri wondered if the alien’s biology was what made him so different to humans, but he decided not to ask, too enraptured by his actions to care.

Vicchan soon joined them, feeling left out sleeping in his own bed and made himself comfortable on the alien’s lap instead. As Yuuri looked around, he smiled to himself. It was a gentle moment, peaceful and still as the only noise between them was their own breaths and Yuuri’s voice, unaware he began rambling about Vicchan.

“I’ve had him since I was a child,” Yuuri explained, and the alien smiled as he continued to speak; “He’s beginning to get old now, but he’s still got a few years left in him. I’ve been indulging him in his old age, and he knows it too.”

Vicchan barked in response and Yuuri couldn’t help his faint laugh. The alien smiled too, petting the companions fur. He brushed his fingers through his coat, much like Yuuri was to the alien except their touches felt more intimate - more special. Vicchan demanded the attention. Yuuri just wanted to feel the alien’s hair. He wanted to brush his fringe behind his ear, comb his fingers through its softness and continue until he’d hear a satisfied hum come from the alien.

But the alien couldn’t speak, and he couldn’t make a sound, so Yuuri settled with his closed eyes and content smile.

“His name actually isn’t Vicchan. It was a nickname my parents gave him, and it just sort of stuck,” Yuuri continued as he reached across to pet his companion, who exhaled a huff when Yuuri disrupted his sleep. “His real name is Victor.”

And like a spark, the alien’s eyes snap open, meeting Yuuri’s with an expression of pure delight brightening his face. He happily nodded, and didn’t hesitate as he pointed to himself, prompting Yuuri to arch a brow in question.

“You like the name?” He asked, but the alien sighed, pausing for just a moment before pointing towards Vicchan, and then himself – and it clicked. “Wait, you… you want to be called Vicchan?”

Again, the alien sighed, shaking his head. He repeated the action once again, but slower that time, finger towards Vicchan and then to himself, and Yuuri took a moment. He let the clogs work in his brain, finding an alternative answer to his first question until he finally had something to say.

“You want to be called Victor?”

And happily, the alien -  _ Victor _ \- nodded.

Yuuri wasn’t entirely sure if it was because he liked the name or that it was his real one, but Yuuri didn’t fret too much about the reason. The alien had a name. Victor wanted to be called… Victor! There was a name now, and Yuuri was so pleased to have finally discovered something to call him.

“ _ Vic~tor _ ,” Yuuri sang, letting it roll off his tongue and dance from his lips, singing the name to confirm it to himself too. “Victor. Victor,  _ Victor _ , Vic~tor…” He exhaled a laugh. “I like it. It suits you.”

It was uncanny how much the name fitted Victor. Yuuri couldn’t see him by any other name, not John or Adam, Chris, Mark, or even JJ. He was Victor. 

And with a breezy laugh, Yuuri scrubbed a hand over his face, exhaling the long he hadn’t realized he’d been holding back. He couldn’t believe how quick and easy that was – how he not only found a name Victor liked, but might even be his real name. Yuuri was baffled with the discovery, and why it took him so long to ask was beyond him, but that didn’t matter now.

He wasn’t completely there in finding all the answers, but he was on his way. Things were slowly falling into place, and he couldn’t be happier.

~

The bitter September turned into a frozen November, and Yuuri couldn’t believe how fast time flew by.

It felt like yesterday he pulled Victor out of that crater and welcomed him to planet Earth. It was strange, thinking back, but seeing how far they’ve come was just as bizarre. He found a  _ name _ for the alien. He fed Victor, clothed him, and cared for him all while Yuuri continued to wait for something to happen - for someone to barge past his door and steal Victor away from him.

But a month had passed with little incident, and Yuuri eased into a blissful, but cautious state.

It seemed unlikely anyone would catch the alien. Yuuri kept his eyes on the field too and not once saw anyone investigate the crash site, but he couldn’t begin to grow careless just yet. It had only been a month. He’d be foolish to let his ignorance ruin that they’ve already built.

And what they built was startling when Yuuri realized the extent of Victor’s stay. He wasn’t just an alien in hiding - not really. He lived with Yuuri. He helped him cook and clean and walk Vicchan (which Yuuri was reluctant to do, at first, but Victor had a very persuasive puppy-dog face that was hard to say no to) and life slipped into a peaceful normality. It became sweet and easy and, dare Yuuri say it,  _ domestic _ .

It filled his heart with bliss. It warmed those cold nights where it was just him and Vicchan alone in a quiet home in the middle of nowhere. It gave Yuuri something to look forward to in the mornings. There was an excitement he hadn’t felt in such a long time, and with each day his paranoia eased, his smile grew. His laughter became careless. Yuuri slowly allowed himself to let go and enjoy his days with Victor, while he still could.

He had days where he was on top of the world, but there were other days, Yuuri noticed, where Victor didn’t share the same feeling.

He wasn’t entirely sure when he first realized it, but he knew how he confirmed it.

There were days where Victor didn’t smile. He didn’t tease Yuuri or hug him or steal his jumpers when he wanted. He didn’t help with cooking or cleaning, even denied talking Vicchan out for a walk. He did nothing but sit by the window and watch the stars or clouds. He’d pay no attention to anyone or anything, his mind lost and eyes drawn away from Yuuri. He’d stay to himself, silent and alone.

And on those days, Yuuri’s quickly reminded that Victor wasn’t human. There was a reason behind his longing stares and deep sighs - a life he was far, far away from. There was someone - or  _ something _ \- waiting for him beyond this life on Earth. As true as it was, Yuuri didn’t like to think about it.

He often fought with himself over what was right and what he wanted, but just the thought of Victor leaving sent a swirling tightness around his chest. His departure was uncertain, and Yuuri wasn’t confident in his assumption that Victor would find a way home so soon, but he didn’t want the alien to leave.

He almost forgot how selfish he could be. 

But in the end, it was a pointless battle. Victor had no way to return home; no connections or ship that could take him back, and Yuuri was left fighting against his morality.

Yuuri needed to admit some truths. Victor was the last person he wanted to speak to about this, and while Phichit was there, he just needed to get his words out without solution or response. He wanted to talk and talk and not be judged or looked at with disapproving stares.

Which meant the day Victor didn’t accompany Yuuri on his walk with Vicchan, he found the perfect time to talk.

The path they followed took them around the field and through a walkway of trees, shading them from the cold winter sun. The air was so still; Yuuri heard nothing but the light crunch of frozen leaves and Vicchan’s heavy panting as he ran free without his leash. It was cold even with his coat, scarf and hat on, but it didn’t matter. He could stay here for hours, and he had done on many occasions, but he promised not to be gone for long. It was only a short trip.

He soon found the crash site. The crater once obvious was now nothing but a dip in the ground – a scar left behind by a celestial being from another world, and Yuuri stopped for a moment to observe. It was strange thinking back to when he found Victor. He knew so little. He was once  _ afraid  _ of the alien, scared by his intentions that Yuuri soon discovered to be nothing. All he needed was a place to stay.

And how bizarre it was thinking so. He never anticipated an alien to be so easily pleased, but Victor never failed to surprise him.

He wasn’t sure what possessed him to sit along the edge of the crater. Perhaps it was thoughtfulness, memories to reflect on that took him back to a time when everything changed. He wasn’t sure, but he took a moment to close his eyes, breathing in the wintry air that chilled him to the bone. A peace surrounded him. The gentle breeze caressed through his hair, easing his spirit and clearing his mind, as if the moment created a distance between his fears and now.

This was everything he wanted – and more.

“I feel like I should be helping Victor find a way home,” Yuuri told Vicchan as he settled beside him. There was no response returned but Yuuri didn’t expect one. “I think he misses it. He deserves to go home but what can I do to help him?”

He exhaled a long heavy breath. Vicchan licked his hand as if to tell him it was okay, and Yuuri didn’t try to hide his reassured smile. It was just what he needed.

“Yeah… I’m doing the best I can,” he continued, petting Vicchan, “he could have landed in worse hands, so I think I’m… I think I’m doing okay.”

There was no reaction from Vicchan that time – no lick or whine, bark or nudge of his nose. Yuuri was met with the silence he had wanted, yet regretted. His own words were spoken to reassure himself; he knew that better than anyone, but it didn’t help convince himself that he was doing Victor any justice.

“I just wish I could do more.”

And that was all Yuuri wanted - to know that he was doing fine, that he was helping.

“Vicchan, can you keep a secret?” Yuuri asked his companion who was just as mute as Victor, except Vicchan could still make a sound. “I’ll be happy for him if he finds a way home. If someone finds him or he has a way to get back, I’ll be fine with that. I’ll be glad he found a way back, but… i’ll miss him. I’ll miss him so much.”

And his own words hit him like a lightning bolt - a spark of realization.

He wished for Victor’s stay to be permanent. He accepted that,  _ desired _ it even, but there were others who could take Victor away. There were reasons why Victor could be here one day, but gone the next, and it was a harsh reality Yuuri needed to remember.

There could come a day where he’s found by people who’d wish to hurt him - humans who wanted nothing more than to experiment on the alien for their own selfish greed. They could take him away from Yuuri, and he’d never see him again. He’d be gone forever.

The torturous tugging in his stomach had him bolt to his feet. His large frantic eyes turned towards his quiet home, relieved everything appeared in place, but silence was deceiving. He grabbed Vicchan’s leash, attached it to his collar and was walking before he realized, moving on autopilot as he raced home.

If Victor was gone today or tomorrow, Yuuri would have to accept that, but he’d never forgive himself if he wasted his time.

He never stopped to admire the scenery. He didn’t pause for a breath, or exhale his deepest worries and fears with a long sigh. He continued his stride, fast and strong, storming ahead of Vicchan with his heart in his throat and his eyes set on his own home.

If Victor was gone by the time he got back, he wouldn’t know what to do.

But Yuuri didn’t need to search far to find Victor. He entered his garden to find Victor sat on the frozen grass – thankfully in clothes – with his eyes up at the clouds, completely unaware of Yuuri’s sudden presence. It wasn’t until Vicchan went barging past that Victor turned his gaze. He welcomed the companion with open arms, and Yuuri’s heart burned with a yearning desire – a longing to feel his embrace too.

And when Victor smiled at Yuuri, he couldn’t hold back.

“You’re not cold?” Yuuri asked, noting that while Victor was wearing clothes, he wore no coat, scarf, or hat – nowhere near as snuggly and warm as Yuuri was. Victor shook his head. “Okay… can I join you?”

Victor nodded, and Yuuri joined him on the ground. There was a chill that seeped through his bones, freezing his fingers and numbing his toes until warm arms circled around him, and Yuuri basked in its comfort. Victor pressed himself close, hugging Yuuri from the side and surrounding his being in a blanket of comfort and tenderness. He didn’t want to move, but Yuuri already suspected he wouldn’t be here for long.

So, Yuuri decided to do what he set out to do: not waste a single moment of their time together

Except he didn’t know exactly what that entailed. He expected more than just sitting on the cold grass and watching the sky above, but it was nice. It was comforting, and knowing Victor didn’t expect any more from him was relieving. He settled in Victor’s arms, petted Vicchan, and watched the clouds for a moment.

But that never lasted long when Victor was so close, and soon, he lost himself by watching the alien.

He was having a bad day. That was already told when Victor rejected the offer to walk Vicchan, but looking at Victor now, it truly hit him. His frown weighed down on his face. There was a sadness in his eyes, clouding over heavier than the clouds above, and Yuuri couldn’t be certain he was even cloud-watching. His gaze was lost, his mind elsewhere, and far, far from home.

And suddenly, it hit him.

“You’re homesick, aren’t you?”

Victor didn’t nod immediately, but the light blush along his cheeks brightened when he did. He pressed his head into Yuuri’s neck, embarrassed to admit that Yuuri was right, but all he could do in response was rub comforting circles on Victor’s back. He didn’t know what to say. There was nothing he could do to help Victor feel any better, but he couldn’t remain silent.

“I… I don’t really know what to say to help you,” he admitted. He’d rather Victor hear the truth than a thoughtless lie. “Can your own people find you?”

When Victor shrugged, Yuuri felt the wave of dread that followed. 

“Listen, I…” Yuuri stopped himself before he made this worse, but the way Victor was looking at him, eyes filled with curiosity and want, he couldn’t hold back. “I know you probably want to go home. You’re far and I don’t know if you have a way back, but… I want to say I hope they find you, but I’d miss you if you go.”

He ripped his eyes away, hiding his face to disguise the blush. He felt Victor move back, his body now cold from where his arms used to be. His stare burned into him, watching as Yuuri kept his own away and didn’t dare look up. He couldn’t believe he said that. It was only moments ago that he admitted his truth to Vicchan, yet there he was, doing exactly what he was once so afraid to say.

But Yuuri didn’t regret it. The nerves that twisted and embarrassment that followed was worth it the moment soft fingers curled between his own.

When he finally looked up, he wasn’t met with disgust, nor a scowl at his confession, but a soft smile that encouraged his heart to flutter to life. He said nothing in return, staying silent as he allowed Victor to wrap his arms around his waist again, pulling him in for a tighter embrace. His heart set alight, the flame igniting a soft burn in his cheeks as Yuuri settled into the hug. He stroked his hands along Victor’s arms, finding comfort in the soothing motion that when Victor’s head rested on Yuuri’s shoulder, he smiled.

It was moments like this he wanted to capture – to hold dear to his heart if Victor ever left. He’d remember this. He’d remember it for a very long time, and he hoped there’d be many more moments to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~ :D NAMES!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _If I time it right, the thunder breaks._
> 
> _ When I open my mouth _
> 
> _ I want to tell you, but I don’t know how. _

Yuuri awoke to soft sheets, the morning light trickling through his blinds, and Victor fast asleep next to him.

He jolted, a gasp escaping his lips as he froze stiff. He didn’t dare move, too afraid to even twitch a muscle in fear he’d wake Victor up, but as time ticked on and Victor stayed asleep, Yuuri’s shoulders eased. He exhaled a soft breath, but bug-eyes still glued to the alien he once believed never slept.

And Yuuri… still didn’t move. He stayed in bed, next to Victor with a want twitching his fingertips; a  _ need _ tempting his mind to reach forward and touch. He didn’t dare to. He couldn’t ruin this tender moment, but Yuuri was content in just looking at him - observing what fell into his life and already stole his heart, laundry, and food.

It was still so strange. He was slowly growing used to the weirdness surrounding Victor, yet he still found himself watching him without really noticing. His mind would just slip, and Yuuri could never seem to pull himself out of it. He’d stare until he caught himself, or when Victor met his eyes, startling him into quickly diverting his gaze and pretend nothing happened. 

But right now with Victor asleep, there were no disruptions or blue eyes catching his stare. He didn’t have Vicchan demanding attention, or Victor himself eyeing Yuuri’s stares with confused, furrowed brows. He could watch and observe and stare upon his flawless beauty, and inch closer than he’d ever dare to.

He should get up. He had things he needed to do and a pile of laundry screaming his name. He should pull himself away to feed Vicchan and let him out, but his companion was unusually quiet and Yuuri took this moment while he could. He held onto it, desperate for it to last. If he had to wait another few months for Victor to fall asleep, he feared he might never have this opportunity again.

And before Yuuri was aware - before he could  _ stop _ himself - he reached forward, heart shaking with anticipation as he pressed his hand against Victor’s chest.

It was easily addictive to touch Victor like this. It was an indulgence he held back, but as his fingers trailed along Victor’s chest, tracing the silver veins that seemed to remain long after his core was removed, he couldn't stop himself. They ran like connected rivers across his pale skin and Yuuri followed them, finger stroking across his chest and over his biceps, along his arms and stopping once he reached the tips of Victor’s fingers.

He then turned to the scar on Victor’s head. He gently cupped the alien’s cheek, thumb stroking over the skin as he checked the mark. For a wound that healed so quickly, it didn’t seem to tackle the faint blue mark scratched across his forehead. He traced a finger along it, a burning reminder of that night he pulled the beautiful being from his own crater and welcomed him into his home.

There was no denying Victor was beautiful. He was a fallen star, wounded and bruised, but still dazzling like the sequin-spilled cluster up above.

But when blue eyes stared back at him, striking a spark in his heart, Yuuri tugged his hand back. He held his breath, conflicted between feeling warm admiration or embarrassment after being caught staring.

And Yuuri, because he’s a mess and he knew this, decided to be embarrassed.

“I…” He tried, but explaining himself was a lost cause. He instead pressed his hands over his face, rolling on his back and muttering, “I wasn’t staring, I promise.”

He could hardly believe his own lie; Victor  _ definitely _ wouldn’t believe it either. He kept his hands over his face, hiding his burning blush as humiliation froze his bones. He didn’t dare meet Victor’s stare. He wouldn’t know what to do if he looked to find Victor laughing at him, but the feeling of soft fingers curling around his wrists had him ease. He allowed them to move him, encouraging his hands away from his face to finally look up.

And seeing Victor there, his warm smile and soft gaze, set Yuuri’s heart alight.

“I wasn’t staring,” Yuuri spoke again, those blue eyes pulling the truth out without him realizing. He cleared his throat. “I was looking at… well, you, mostly. I was curious about those veins, and - and your scar.”

Victor said nothing, as expected, but his small grin dropped as he reached for his forehead. His fingers grazed along the scar, gently stroking over the damaged skin. Yuuri couldn’t tell if Victor was aware he had it, given the heavy drop of his brows, but he seemed content knowing the scar was there when his hand dropped to his chest. He looked down, eyeing the silver veins running along his skin, following them with his finger much like Yuuri once did.

And Yuuri, eyes lingering with thirst, swallowed thickly.

“Is that your blood?” he asked, forcing his gaze away. It was a stupid question and Yuuri knew it. Victor’s blood was blue, but the question was still pondered as Victor shook his head. “Then… it must be from your core, right?”

Victor smiled as he nodded. He pointed across the room towards something Yuuri didn’t bother turning to check. He assumed it was the core, but Yuuri’s intrigue stayed held at Victor’s chest; his tight, sleek muscles exposed for Yuuri’s eyes to ogle.

But he squeezed his eyes shut before shaking his head, forcing himself to pay attention. He shouldn’t be acting like this. There were more questions to ask.

“It isn’t…” he cleared his throat. “It won’t do anything if you keep it off for too long, will it?”

As Victor shook his head, he began pointing towards the same area again. Yuuri took in that much, but then it became a guessing game as Victor began flailing his hands around, trying to translate something to Yuuri who was struggling to keep up.

And when Victor stopped, expecting a response, Yuuri blinked.

“Uh…” he muttered, “I - I uhm…”

He would’ve pretended he knew what Victor had said if he could find a believable lie, but Victor had already sighed heavily, knowing Yuuri couldn’t understand him.

“A-alright,” Yuuri exhaled a nervous laugh as he scratched behind his neck, thinking up a solution. “Right… at some point, I think I need to teach you an easier way to communicate with me. I can understand pointing, sometimes, but there’s an easier way, I’m sure.

He should have done this sooner but so much had happened, it slipped from Yuuri’s mind. But a lot had, now thinking about it. He had forgotten to teach Victor how to write in his language, or buy him some fitting clothes, and even trying to calculate how and when Victor slept disappeared from his thoughts. He needed to get back on track, but with so much to discover, he wasn’t sure where to begin.

But it also didn’t matter  _ where _ he began. As long as he did something, Yuuri was happy, and with a smile on his face he stood up and took hold of Victor’s hands.

“Come on, get up,” Yuuri grinned, trying to pull the alien up to his feet but he made no effort to move. “I’m going to start teaching you how to write. We’ll designate Wednesdays to learning. Aren’t you excited?”

But Victor still didn’t move and Yuuri let go of his hands, letting him fall back on the bed as Yuuri huffed. Victor could understand him, which was good, but Yuuri couldn’t always understand  _ him _ , and Yuuri needed communication too.

If Victor needed convincing, he would convince him - and Yuuri had just the idea.

“If you get up,” Yuuri began, slowly, watching Victor as he stared back, “I won’t nag you for being naked. For the entire day.”

It was a simple bribery, but Yuuri knew the alien well enough to know he would consider the offer. And Yuuri waited, hands on his hips, hoping Victor would accept the offer. It wasn’t until he smiled and threw the blanket off his body, revealing his already naked self, that he confirmed Yuuri’s offer in a heartbeat.

And Yuuri tried stifling his laugh. At least he was motivated, and Yuuri couldn’t deny this benefitted himself too - in ways he would never dare admit.

But Victor was going to learn how to write - long overdue, but finally happening.

* * *

 

 

“So, spill the tea,” Phichit began as he took a sip from his coffee - not tea. “Have you and Victor had sex yet?”

Yuuri nearly spat out his own, but choked on it instead.

He never expected anything less from Phichit, but for his friend to bring up a conversation topic that he  _ knew _ hadn’t happened had Yuuri sigh hard. He didn’t mind Phichit asking things. He could ask Yuuri the most personal questions and he’d answer it through a blush, but they were in a  _ café _ , catching up on life without Victor being around. It was neither the time _ nor place _ for him to ask that.

But he shouldn’t be so surprised. Why wouldn’t Phichit take advantage of their privacy while Victor wasn’t around?

“You’ll be the actual death of me one day,” Yuuri warned, shooting a glare at his friend who responded with a gleeful smile. “ _ No _ . We have not had sex, and you know that. We’ve not kissed or made out or…  _ fucked _ ,” he whispered the last one. “You’re just saying this to get a reaction out of me.”

“And I got one, didn’t I?” Phichit winked. Yuuri scrubbed a hand over his face, exhaling another long breath. “Alright, but onto the real questions. You wouldn’t kiss him even after a few years’ time?”

“Phichit. He’s just staying with me until he either finds a way home or he, uh… doesn’t, I guess.”

“And that’s all?” Phichit asked, and Yuuri hesitated to nod. “I know what you’re like. You’ll develop feelings but ignore it until it goes away. Or it’ll take you that long to realize the benefits of speaking up, so I’ll repeat my question. Would you, in a few years’ time,  _ finally _ consider asking Victor to be your lover?”

“Phichit…” Yuuri sighed. There was truth to the question – an answer Yuuri was desperate to release, but doubt was his enemy and he didn’t believe it was worth mentioning. “I haven’t… I really don’t…”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it,” Phichit warned with the point of his finger. “I know for a fact that you have. If you don’t want to say it then that’s fine, but you and I both know you’re always better off talking about it.”

He hated to admit it, but Phichit was right. It didn’t make the truth any easier to admit, but his mind was a maze he often got lost in. He’d take all the help he could get.

“Yes,” he admitted, and the first breath released lifted a weight off his chest. “Yes, I would consider asking him to be my lover.”

And that was that.

He thought about it more often than he’d admit. It was easy to view Victor that way – to see him as a potential lover, partner,  _ boyfriend _ , and Yuuri could easily admit that to him. He could say his truth and be done with it, but gathering the right words to say struck his heart with a beat. It twisted his tongue and frayed his nerves, keeping his voice silent and his mind a mess.

But mystery became curiosity that plunged headfirst into affection somewhere along the way, and for once, Yuuri didn’t want to hide it. To say he’d accept Victor as his lover felt like a breath of fresh air – a moment of absolute relief, and suddenly, Yuuri wished to spill every little truth he had.

“I think he’s beautiful,” Yuuri began, only scratching the surface. “He’s beautiful and stunning and everything I’d love to call my own. He’s this strangely weird and stupidly stubborn being who likes to break my stuff just to see what it looks like, but I wouldn’t replace him for anyone in the – the  _ universe! _ He’s… incredible, Phichit. I can’t believe how lucky I am that he crashed into my life the way he did.”

“You two are stupidly adorable,” Phichit spoke. The stupid grin on his face said it all. “But… don’t you think you should just tell him the truth now? You can admit your feelings and do it sooner than in a few years. Why wait?”

“Because I’m here to help him. He’s an – he’s not from here, and I don’t know who’s waiting for him back home. He must have family and friends, and a potential lover too. I can’t be  _ that _ selfish. I can’t take him away from that,” Yuuri shook his head, exhaling a long heavy breath as he played with his fingers. “How I feel doesn’t matter if he’s… if he  _ is _ found. He’ll go home and I won’t ever see him again. I don’t want to put myself through that heartache because I couldn’t wait until I was certain, or until I was prepared. I don’t want to… I can’t make that decision now, not while I don’t know if his affections are his own desires or just his way of life.”

The groan Phichit let out gathered more stares than Yuuri coughing fit, and he averted his eyes to his coffee mug to ignore them. It was to avoid Phichit too, who Yuuri didn’t doubt was staring at him like he was crazy – again.

“You’re too thoughtful for your own good.”

“I’m trying to be realistic.”

“Then explain why Victor only shows  _ you  _ affection?” Phichit asked, but Yuuri kept his head down, choosing to ignore his friend than admit defeat. He couldn’t answer his question, but that didn’t mean anything – Yuuri was certain. “He likes you too, you know.”

“But that still doesn’t mean I should go for it,” Yuuri argued. “What if he’s found by his own people, or… by  _ god _ knows who else might want him? I can’t carelessly go for it because I’m acting like a lovesick teenager. I’m just trying to be realistic.”

“You’re being in denial.”

The worst part was knowing he couldn’t argue back. There had been a niggling thought in the back of his mind – a doubt that wondered if Phichit was right, that Victor was truly willing to take that step as lovers too. The debate in his mind was never-ending, and Yuuri fell back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest as he huffed with defeat.

“He’s interested, Yuuri,” Phichit continued. “Trust me on that. Why else do you think he hasn’t tried to contact home?”

“He can’t anyway.”

“He can’t, or he doesn’t want to?”

Yuuri’s stare felt harsh.

“Don’t, just…don’t,” he shook his head, sighing hard. “Look, when he’s certain, I’ll know.”

Phichit was silent as he raised his cup to his lips and took a long sip before finally saying, “I trust you’ll know when you do, but don’t waste your time worrying about what might never happen. I know what you’re like. You’ll worry and doubt yourself, and it’ll be too late by the time you realize it.”

Yuuri’s fingers clenched around his mug; the warm brew inside burned his palmed but he never pulled away, finding retreat in the ache that temporarily distracted him. It was easy to ignore Phichit’s comment for a moment, but no matter what he did to preoccupy himself, it didn’t make it any less real.

There were many fears when it came to Victor – him leaving, or being found by bad people. Every single one replayed in Yuuri’s mind, but nothing terrified him more than wasting his time with Victor. Nothing struck his heart with an intense tug like missing those moments he could cherish forever. He wanted nothing more than Victor’s time, to spend it in the best way possible.

If he wasted a single moment, it would be gone forever. Yuuri couldn’t dare let that happen.

“But you could be wrong, too.”

And just like that, he had fallen – plunged back into a state of hesitation and doubt.

“I could,” Phichit agreed, “I could be wrong and you’ll embarrass yourself, but that’s the worst that could happen. Victor wouldn’t leave you for admitting anything. He can’t anyway, not unless he’s fine risking his life by getting caught.”

“But he might not look at me the same way.”

“At least you can say you tried.”

Phichit’s reasonings always made sense, and Yuuri hated it at times. He’d rather wallow in self-pity, but Phichit was his voice of reason. He was that part of his brain that made sense, and helped him think without anxiety and doubts swaying his decisions.

And Phichit was right. In many ways, he made sense and it was the wisest decision Yuuri could make, but he was stubborn. He was selfish and stubborn and just the thought of embarrassing himself knocked him back into the mental hole he dug himself. 

“I could do it,” Yuuri agreed, “I really could, but… what if I’m wrong?”

It was straightforward, but Yuuri’s mind wasn’t.

“Just think about it, okay?” Phichit asked and Yuuri nodded. He could do that. He did a lot of thinking nowadays. “But besides that, I assume things have been alright. Have you figured out a way for him to communicate with you yet?”

“Oh, yeah, I have,” Yuuri nodded. “He’s uh… he’s actually quite stubborn when it comes to learning how to write. I either have to convince him,  _ or _ find a way to keep his attention. It’s going slower than I had anticipated so I think communication is going to take a while.”

“I would’ve assumed from an alien who could understand us, it would’ve been quicker for him to learn?”

“Yeah, me too,” Yuuri nodded. “I’m not sure if he just doesn’t like learning, or he’s not that interested. I was thinking teaching him sign language might be more fun, but I’d have to learn it too and I don’t want to slow us down any more than we already have, but we’ll see how things go.”

“I’m surprised. He clearly has the technology to help him understand us, but not know how to write? I would’ve thought his alien technological thingies could’ve helped!” Phichit said, but Yuuri was quick to hush his voice, frantically scanning the room in fear somebody overheard him. His friend’s brows hung low. “What?”

“Don’t be so loud!” Yuuri whispered desperately, silently begging for his friend to think about his words before he spoke. “I know it seems unlikely that somebody is looking for him, but I’m not ready to begin talking about the… the  _ alien _ business in public.”

“Even after that long conversation we just had?”

“We were vague until now,” Yuuri pointed out. “Just don’t say the ‘A’ word. We don’t know who's listening. I just want to keep things as quiet as possible, until I’m certain he’s safe.”

Phichit said nothing as he shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee. “You should be good,” he said, “as long as he doesn’t do any, uh,  _ out-of-this-world _ tricks, you’ll be fine.”

Yuuri didn’t mean to tense, but the reminder snuck up on him like a strong grip on his shoulder. He’d kept Victor out of his suit since he discovered it was the cause behind the electrical issues, but with the tiny core sat inside his home, ready for the taking by anyone searching for any aliens in the neighbourhood, Yuuri quickly pondered ways to hide it. He could always bury the thing?

“Wait…” Phichit paused, pulling Yuuri out of his thoughts. “No  _ way _ ! What else can he do?”

“Nothing! It’s nothing,” Yuuri denied. “It’s just… well,  _ he _ can’t do anything, but his suit can. It was causing all the electrical faults I had going on.”

“You’re joking,” Phichit laughed. Yuuri didn’t think it was that funny, but the humour of the situation long lost itself in time. “You better get him out of that suit then.”

“I already have,” Yuuri replied without realizing the damage caused by his own words. The waggling of Phichit’s eyebrows was enough to hint at Yuuri  _ exactly _ what he was thinking. He threw a light slap at his friend’s arm. “Not like that! Well, like that, but… he sometimes likes to walk around naked, okay? It’s not something I can help, especially when he just throws off whatever I give him.”

Phichit wasn’t hiding his smile, nor his laughter, and as much as Yuuri wanted to hold his glare, he couldn’t compete against Phichit’s contagious smile. His own broke free, hidden behind a bitten lip that couldn’t quite disguise the humour. He didn’t  _ want _ to give Phichit the satisfaction, but he couldn’t deny the absurdity.

“Oh, this is  _ brilliant _ .”

Yuuri rolled his eyes. “Oh, shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I was supposed to upload this yesterday but what's a schedule???  
> anyway another chapter is going to be up tomorrow bc this one kinda bland sorry  
> Kudos and comments = my lifeline, thanks! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _ Still I’m pinned under the weight _
> 
> _ Of what I believed would keep me safe. _

 

Yuuri was never one to buy things on impulse.

He had always been good with his money. He enjoyed saving, knowing there was enough money in his bank for a rainy day. He never treated himself to anything ridiculously expensive, and made sure to tread carefully even making purchases, never going overboard or spending money on things he didn’t need. A treat was rare. Yuuri didn’t like to abuse that.

But when he found himself buying a coat for Victor - one stupidly out of his price range - he wondered if his lack of impulse only ever applied to himself.

He didn’t really think when he made the purchase, nor look at the price tag that gave him a heart attack at the cash register. It wasn’t his style, but imagining Victor wearing it influenced most of Yuuri’s decision. The alien needed a coat that wasn’t too big for him, and with the winter months in full swing, Yuuri didn’t want him going cold.

But he also wanted to buy it just because. There was nothing heartfelt about it - no act of romance to win over the alien’s heart, or to expect something in return for buying him the gift. He told himself long ago that he wanted to show Victor the best of humanity, and with Christmas around the corner, this was the perfect opportunity to do that.

He never doubted his purchase, not for one second – at least, not until he pulled up his driveway.

And his anxious mind awoke.

He was a thoughtless, reckless idiot. There he was sat with a coat for an alien who didn’t like wearing clothes. He couldn’t even say Victor would  _ like _ the gift. He was certain Victor judged his style sometimes, giving him an offhand look at some of his shirts or jackets. What if Victor rejected the gift? What if he hated it, or didn’t care for it, and would’ve called Yuuri stupid if he could speak, or –?

But then he saw him.

There was something about Victor that always tugged at Yuuri’s thoughts. It might have been his bright smile, or the adorable wave he was giving Yuuri by the door with Vicchan by his feet, both welcoming him home. Whatever it was, it settled his anxieties. It eased his heart, calming his mind and spirit as he returned the grin.

It didn’t matter whether Victor liked the gift or not. If he accepted it with a hug, or refused it with an upturn of his nose, Yuuri wouldn’t mind. As long as Victor was still here, it gave him the chance to try again.

“Victor, get inside before you catch a cold,” Yuuri told him when he stepped out of the car, noticing Victor was wearing nothing but a short sleeved shirt and black underwear – clothing too cold for December weather. “I know you’ve probably never had one but trust me when I say it’s best you try to avoid it.”

Victor didn’t respond to Yuuri, but rather pointed at the few shopping bags in his hand. Yuuri’s eyes shot down, terrified Victor saw his gift before realizing he was only pointing at what he had in his hands rather than just the present itself. He was still unsuspecting.

“It’s just a few things I brought in town,” Yuuri answered as he hurriedly stepped inside, quick to get away from the cold and into the warmth of his home.

He shrugged off his coat and hat, but caught Victor trying to take a sneaky peek inside one of the bags. It wasn’t his gift, thankfully, but he didn’t appreciate the snooping and tugged the bag away from Victor’s nosy grasp.

“No peeking,” Yuuri warned, holding the bags behind his back. “It’s Christmas in a few days and I needed to get a few things.”

And when Victor shot him a confused glance, head tilted and brows furrowed, Yuuri again forgot that Victor was an alien. He most likely didn’t  _ have _ a ‘Christmas’ on his planet.

“It’s a celebration we have here,” Yuuri began as he moved to the kitchen. The first bag to unload was some food to restock the fridge.

Victor didn’t waste a moment to delve into the bags for something to munch on. Yuuri let him, because it wouldn’t hurt him, but as he turned to catch Victor munching on a banana, slow and carefully as he listened to Yuuri’s explanation, he spun back around – face burning and heart racing.

_ Out of all the things he could’ve eaten… _

“We have it in Japan too, but we don’t celebrate it as a religious celebration,” Yuuri continued, desperate to avoid Victor’s eyes and his own mind from going in  _ that _ direction. “Japan’s Christmas Eve is like Valentine’s day, in a way. It’s a time to spread happiness and exchange presents with – uh… with each other.”

If avoiding Victor eating a banana was one thing, skipping over the explanation that Christmas Eve was thought of as a romantic day was another. He wouldn’t know how to explain that and follow it up with giving Victor a gift. There was no way he could avoid that without it looking too obvious.

But as he turned, Victor thankfully finished eating his banana, Yuuri caught a smile on his face – a lopsided grin that set Yuuri’s heart ablaze. His eyes glanced from the bags to Yuuri, as if to ask if anything inside was for him, and Yuuri couldn’t find a good enough excuse to steer Victor away from the conversation. He practically walked head-first into it. He hadn’t helped himself.

“You might have something, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Victor pounced from his seat to search, but Yuuri was faster. He quickly snatched the bag away, holding it behind his back and away from Victor’s excited hands. Victor might not be able to speak, but he was becoming predictable.

“Oh no you don’t,” Yuuri shook his head, “you’ll have to wait a few more days before I can give this to you!”

He almost pitied Victor’s pout, but the expression made him stifle a giggle. Yuuri could easily deny his pout – not a problem – but it was Victor’s puppy-dog look that had him shatter. He tried hard. He really did, but even focusing on packing away the rest of his food, Yuuri could feel it.

It was those blue eyes, that face that shifted from devastatingly handsome to absolute adorableness – and eventually, Yuuri gave up with a frustrated huff.

“Alright, you’ve got me,” he sighed, packing away the last of his food before turning to Victor. “Get in the living room, I’ll give you your gift now.”

He shouldn’t do. He had better patience than this, but Victor knew how to get to him and Yuuri could see it in his smirk.

“Right,” he began once Victor sat on the couch, and took a deep breath. He hadn’t expected to be so nervous. “There wasn’t really any reason why I got this for you, but, uh…Well, there was and there wasn’t. I just saw this and I… thought of you. I’m not sure if you’ll like it, or if you’ll even want to  _ use _ it, but, uh… I sort of just… I – here.”

He caved, his speech ruined by his nerves, but he made it far enough to give Victor the gift and he was proud of that. He stood back with an anxious tickle in his gut. He watched, heart on edge as Victor looked inside the bag, expression unreadable as he took the coat out of hiding, and held it up to get a better view.

“L-like I said, I just thought of you,” Yuuri continued his explanation, afraid it wasn’t enough. “I saw it in the shop window and I thought you’d benefit from having a coat your size. It’ll keep you warm. I know you don’t really like to wear clothes and you might not like it, but I can always return it! I still have the receipt and I can buy you something you might like or enjoy and –”

His explanation cut short, surprise startling him silent as Victor hugged the coat close to his chest. Yuuri watched as Victor then pressed his face against the material. He couldn’t tell if it was from humour, hiding his laughter at Yuuri’s attempted generosity – or gratitude, not until he was met with Victor’s wide smile that crinkled his eyes.

Yuuri expected a hug when Victor stood up, but his arms never wrapped around Yuuri, or tugged him in an embrace that warmed his heart. Their foreheads touched instead. Victor stood so close, his breath pressed against Yuuri’s lips as he raised a hand to press it against his own chest before moving to do the same to Yuuri – his gentle touch right above his heart.

Yuuri didn’t know what to say or do. Victor liked to be close. He often hugged Yuuri, and touched him in intimate ways, but this was new. This was something Yuuri couldn’t explain with a few simple words, but he knew better than anyone that this was something special; this was something between him and Victor – a touch only they will share.

Silence seemed appropriate. It was fitting, but Yuuri couldn’t contain the nervous laugh that broke past his lips.

“Is this a special way of you saying thank you?” Yuuri asked, his voice sounding so soft even to his own ears. He hoped he wasn’t wrong, and Victor’s nod stopped his breath all together. “I-I like it.”

And in another impulsive act of that day, Yuuri returned the favour. He rested his hand over Victor’s chest, right above his beating heart. It was quicker than Yuuri’s own - faster and harder as it pounded against his palm. He couldn’t decide if it was part of Victor’s biology, or he was just as nervous as Yuuri, but Yuuri didn’t try hard to decide.

The small act left such a big impact. It cuddled his body in a warm blanket, drowning him in a satisfying warmth he didn’t know how to release. So much raced through his mind, ways to show Victor his dedication in more than just simple, but meaningful touches. He’d hug him. He’d hold him close, caress his fingers through his hair or plant kisses along his skin. He’d do whatever he could to show his appreciation – his desire.

But in a pitiful attempt to distract his own thoughts, he cleared his throat and pulled away with an excuse on his tongue. It was a nice thought – one Yuuri dreamed about, but unrealistic for now. He wasn’t sure if he could ever gather the courage to kiss Victor.

Perhaps one day he’d find the willpower to do it, but until then – or until Victor kisses Yuuri first – he doubted his chances.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri liked these mornings – ones where he woke up with Victor curled against his side, and Vicchan licking his fingers with a demand for food.

He pushed himself up with a soft grumble and scratched Vicchan behind his ear, giving the companion short-lived attention before falling down again. The desire to curl up in the sheets was tempting, and ignoring the day had appeal. He could forget everything and cuddle up to his alien companion, lose himself in a warm cocoon of comfort, except he had responsibilities to see to.

But his responsibilities could wait five minutes. It wasn’t often Victor slept beside Yuuri. He wished to cherish this moment for as long as he could, until sun wakes him up with another day.

There was something about the way Victor slept that held Yuuri in an everlasting trance. He could watch Victor sleep for hours, but he allowed only the smallest of indulgence - a gentle caress of his features, stroking along the bridge of his nose and the contour of his cheekbones. He took a moment to feel the faint scar stretched across his forehead too before moving further down, fingertips grazing along his jawline and lips, admiring every inch of Victor’s being.

Victor was truly a beautiful creature. It was almost unfair, but he was an alien after all. He held beauty and grace so delicately, Yuuri wouldn’t believe anyone if they told him Victor was real. He’d laugh, wave off their comment, and continue with his life so unaware of the beautiful man he could’ve met – the beautiful man that slept by his side, unafraid and beautiful and so very  _ real _ .

Victor was the first person Yuuri ever wanted to hold onto, and that itself meant more than any word or touch could ever explain.

“Victor,” Yuuri eventually whispered when Vicchan began scratching at the door. “Victor, it’s time to wake up.”

There was a heavy sigh as Victor rolled to his side, a silent and tired response that told Yuuri he wanted more sleep. Yuuri smiled as he pushed himself up, shaking his head to himself. He’ll let Victor be, for now.

He stretched his arms above his head, exhaled a loud yawn and groaned with each bone that clicked and muscle he stretched. He was never an early riser, and pushing himself to his feet was more effort than needed, but Vicchan’s excessive scratching had him finally stand to open the door for the companion.

But as Yuuri reached for the door handle, he paused.

He wasn’t sure how he never noticed it before. It might’ve been Victor who distracted his mind enough to keep him unfocused, or it only just begun, but a light caught his eye. A soft glow luminated from his bedside drawer, flashing repeatedly, and Yuuri didn’t know what he owned that could’ve created that. Nothing came to mind, and he couldn’t help but proceed with caution.

He wasn’t afraid to open the drawer, but confusion certainly had him questionable when he found Victor’s core inside.

He never knew what Victor did with it, not until now, at least. He thought the alien just kept hold of it, or threw it out. He hadn’t realize it had been in his drawer the whole time, but that didn’t answer why the device was suddenly glowing – flashing in repetition as if to signal a warning. The glow was red, vibrant, and completely different from the original colour Yuuri last remembered it being.

A hand seized his wrist, and Yuuri’s heart did flips until he caught the familiar blues of Victor’s eyes. He said nothing as Victor took the core from his fingers, panic swirling in his gaze, and Yuuri couldn’t help but question.

“What does this mean?” he asked, suddenly needing to ignore Victor’s body once he realized he was fully naked - as usual. “It – It not a… do we need to worry about this?”

Victor’s stare turned into a frantic search before he gripped Yuuri’s hand and pounced out of bed. He dragged Yuuri through his home, down the stairs and through one room to another, almost as if he was searching for something – looking for a thing he couldn’t quite find, and quickly.

Yuuri couldn’t find the voice to ask further, but the attempt would be worthless even if he did try. Victor didn’t have a voice and Yuuri knew this panic all too well; so, he stayed silent and allowed Victor to drag him through his home, and eventually, through the back door, guiding him through his garden until he reached his abandoned shed in the back corner.

“Victor,” Yuuri eventually tried, watching Victor fumble with the dodgy handle. “Victor, what’s going on?”

But Victor didn’t turn. He gave no hints or clues to his actions as the shed door swung open, and Yuuri was tugged inside.

He hated to know how many spiders made home in his shed. He long abandoned it, using it for storage rather than use, but that had him wonder why Victor dragged him here in the first place. There was nothing that could help them, or explain why the core continued to flash. It answered none of Yuuri’s questions, and while Victor let go of his hand to push aside a few things, he decided now was the time for answers.

“Victor, you’ve got to try to explain to me what’s happening,” Yuuri asked. Victor didn’t acknowledge him, only pushing a few boxes out from under an old desk. “I know you can’t tell me completely, and I might not fully understand, but I need to know. If this is as serious as it seems to be, I think I’m entitled to –”

But his words fell silent behind Victor’s hand pressed against his mouth. He tried to argue, to swat Victor’s hand away, but silence is telling. Yuuri didn’t just see panic in Victor’s actions, but worry too – fear. It was a terror that clouded his blue eyes in a shade of grey, and kept his mouth open with panting breaths. 

The flashing meant something. The core was speaking to them – to Victor – and he knew exactly what it was saying. Yuuri may not be able to understand, but he knew enough to realize this was a warning. This meant danger was coming.

And as a silent, muted voice came from inside Yuuri’s home, it proved his assumption to be true.

“Oh, crap,” Yuuri gasped as his eyes stared past Victor, through the shed window and towards his home. There was movement inside, and it wasn’t coming from Vicchan. “Oh fuck, oh – oh shit, Victor, they’re not – they don’t… what are they…?”

He wasn’t sure what he was trying to ask. There was a question, but Victor didn’t reply, only moved them silently to the space he made beneath the old desk. It wasn’t discreet; not in the slightest. They weren’t hidden from view nor invisible to the naked eye. They were open and revealed and ready to be found by whoever was searching his home.

He couldn’t hide his violent, full-bodied shudder. A nervous sweat broke out all over him, his entire body struggling to control it as his heart hammered in his chest. He never experienced fear like this – never so terrified and anxious, yet unable to do anything to help himself cope.

But Victor was there, and he was touching the core with trembling fingers, so Yuuri focused on that.

He tapped a sequence against the device, twisted a few parts, but it explained nothing when the core split into two. Yuuri’s intrigue was slowly helping him cope, forcing his focus on Victor as he took hold of Yuuri’s wrist, but he said nothing as the smallest piece of the core was placed on his wrist. He stayed silent when he felt a pinch, followed by the device clinging onto his skin and remaining there, no matter how rough or hard Yuuri scratched at it.

Victor shook his head at Yuuri, curling his fingers around the device to stop him. He never let go until Yuuri’s eyes met his, and certain he was watching, Victor continued by doing the same. He placed the bigger piece of the core to his own wrist until it attached to his skin, and a single tap of the core disabled the glow. It plunged the room into silence.

And Yuuri was  _ still _ a mess of confusion. 

“W-what – what does this…?”

The hand was over his mouth again, and another voice was heard beyond the shed – closer and louder than before.

Yuuri’s heart was going to burst. He grasped for Victor’s wrist, keeping his hand over his mouth to mute his desperate panting, but also for the smallest ounce of reassurance. He tried to take comfort in Victor’s free arm wrapped around him, holding him close as they sat there trembling, but it wasn’t enough to satisfy his desperation. It didn’t reassure him that they’ll be okay.

And the moment the door swung open, Victor’s hand pressed harder against his mouth.

Yuuri expected a shout – a call to announce that they were found, but the man in question said nothing. He took a step inside, scanning the room as if he was hunting for prey, but said nothing about the two obvious bodies sat hiding under an old, worn down desk. He didn’t even look at them, and Yuuri’s breath froze as confusion overcame his fear.

It was then that he took another look at the core on his wrist, then towards the one on Victor’s too. His brain shifted with a thought – a question that had him ponder the impossible.

Were they invisible?

His assumption only increased as the stranger closed the door behind him. He took a few steps inside, swiping his fingers along equipment and furniture Yuuri long abandoned. He moved a few things too, dusting them off, but never once move towards the desk they were sat beneath. He didn’t turn his gaze to them, or stare for a moment. He was completely unaware of their presence, and Victor must’ve noticed Yuuri’s calm demeanour when he removed his hand from Yuuri’s lips.

It was strange to experience. They knew the man was there, yet the stranger didn’t have a clue, and while Yuuri wondered the possibilities they had with this new discovery, the man had pulled out his phone to answer a call.

“I already know what you’re going to ask, and no, we haven’t found anything.”

His voice was rough, intimidating, and Yuuri held his breath again. He couldn’t hear the voice on the other end reply, no matter how hard he strained his hearing, but the conversation was easily guessed.

“Nothing, Ma’am,” the man replied. “His bed was a mess but he has a pet who might’ve caused that. There are no gadgets or advanced tech we could find, nothing alien, either. We found a few things broken apart, but nothing that’s enough to bring him in for questioning. It feels like somebody else is here, but it’s not enough.”

It was frustrating not being able to hear the response. He wished he could listen into their conversation. He needed to know what was being said, and if there was anything that could help them, but unless Victor’s core could do that too, he would have to make do.

And the man’s exhausted sigh had Yuuri anxious.

“Ma’am, with all due respect, but I think this is a lost cause.” Those words seemed to ease Yuuri’s chest, but not enough to exhale in relief. “There’s no proof that what fell out of the sky was an alien. There’s no proof that anyone is hiding one either. There’s nothing that says this could be alien. It might’ve even been something human that fell from the sky, but we simply don’t know.”

Yuuri thought, for just a moment, he could hear the voice responding, but he could be going crazy.

“I understand the strange behaviour in frequencies, but if we find nothing, and we go years without hearing of an alien hanging around on Earth, you’ll look like nothing but a paranoid alien enthusiast.” The silence was thick and Yuuri struggled to breathe in it. “I understand what you mean, I do, but we can’t put our focus on something we have no conclusive evidence actually exists. It’s like finding a ghost right now.”

If they believed Victor was nothing but a ghost, he’d take it. He’ll make sure Victor remained a ghost if it meant keeping him away from their grabby hands. He made a promise to himself that he would keep Victor safe, and if that meant Victor staying inside for a while longer, so be it.

“We’ll keep searching,” the man responded with a heavy sigh. “There’s a forest out back and a few homes we haven’t searched yet. We’ll take a look there, but unless we find proof, I don’t expect to return here.”

It wasn’t fair, but it would have to do.

“I’ll get the boys to clean up and we’ll move out.”

The man hung up the phone, shoved it in his pocket a little too forcefully and muttered, “she’s going nuts,” as he pulled open the shed door to leave.

And neither move. Victor didn’t shift with his arm around Yuuri, and Yuuri didn’t let go of his hand, gripping it tightly as they sat frozen in horror. It felt like hours they were sat there, silent and afraid to move, but silence was their friend and the longer they heard it, confidence returned to them. It reminded them of their privacy – their safety.

They eventually move back inside the house. There were panicked glances and looks over their shoulders, but the coast was clear, and neither let out a breath until they were back inside the house. Neither thought to say anything, not until they sat down on the couch, knowing their safety was returned to them, that Yuuri finally let himself break.

“What the fuck just happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri you a thorsty boy dont lie to yourself  
> and ooooohhh check out that core! I wonder what else it can do? *Insert eye emoji here*


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _  
>  An open book with a torn out page  
>  _  
>  __  
>   
> 
> 
> _  
>  And my ink’s run out.  
>  _  
>  __  
>   
> 
> 
> __  
>  I want to love you, but I don’t know how

 

Regardless of Yuuri’s aggressive question, Victor ignored it like he did most things.

He did nothing to give Yuuri a sense of relief - a conclusion to his questions. He did nothing, but instead, took hold of Yuuri’s wrist to begin removing the core off his skin. Yuuri wanted to yell, but there might be an answer awaiting him, so he held his tongue.

The removal didn’t hurt like he expected. There was no pinch or scratch that had him worry it pierced his skin. Victor tapped it a few times before peeling it off, leaving behind nothing but a core-shaped indent in his skin and the same silver veins Victor had - only his own were fading.

“That’s a strange little device,” Yuuri muttered, his alarm somehow easing into a subtle, curious state. “I presumed it did something, but not… I didn’t… can I even say it did something?”

It was another question left with no answer. He hoped for a nod, or even a smile to confirm anything, but Victor did none of those things. He didn’t even look up at Yuuri.

“Victor?”

But then Victor raised Yuuri’s wrist to his lips, and Yuuri’s heart set alight. He froze, watching as Victor pressed a soft, delicate kiss to the indent in his skin. His lips met the mark, and all Yuuri could focus on was how soft they were, and how the sudden dire to feel them against his own filled him with abrupt confidence.

But Yuuri had better self-control than that. He had a thousand questions to ask and the seriousness of the situation pulled him back from his own selfish desires. He could dream as much as he wanted, but now wasn’t the time, nor place, to be thinking that way.

“I-I want you to be serious for a moment,” Yuuri tried, hoping the force in his voice would give Victor the hint that now wasn’t the time for soft touches. “I have no idea what you just did back there, or what that core does, but if it can help us keep you safe, I think you should explain to me exactly what it does.”

Victor then smiled, as if he was ready to laugh, but Yuuri held a finger up to stop him.

“No, don’t laugh. Don’t smile or giggle or – or do anything that isn’t what I just asked. What just happened back there, with the lights and the core and… Did we actually go invisible?”

He felt a little bad telling Victor not to smile but he didn’t listen anyway. His grin remained as he nodded, _finally_ confirming Yuuri’s assumption to be true, and suddenly Victor’s smile was the last thing on his mind. It was nothing compared to the hurricane raging through it.

“And that thing did it?” Yuuri asked, pointing to the core in Victor’s hands. He nodded again. The room began to spin. “O-oh, wow. I-I didn’t… I don’t know what – what to say…?”

It was a lot to take in, perhaps a little too much for his simple human brain to comprehend, but the truth couldn’t be ignored no matter how big it was. He couldn’t say it never happened because to do so would ignore everything that just occured, and deny something Yuuri couldn’t answer without Victor’s confirmation to explain it. If he didn’t believe it, he’d be in denial.

But to think it was true, to _say_ they turned invisible… Yuuri felt crazy just thinking about it.

A gentle hand on his shoulder tugged him away from his scrambled thoughts and back onto the man with beautiful eyes and a gorgeous smile that helped him believe everything was okay - but nothing was okay. There was a potential danger coming their way. There was a threat looming over them, and Yuuri couldn’t ignore that. Even with the help of Victor’s core, how long could they hide?

Yuuri was on his feet before he realized, pacing back and forth, trying to come up with a solution. He played with his fingers and chewed on his nails, but nothing helped him - nothing gave him the answers he wanted, and with a heavy sigh, he turned to Victor.

But meeting Victor’s very naked body did nothing to help him think of anything but… _that_.

“Victor…” Yuuri cleared his throat. “We have a very serious discussion to have right now and I can’t be serious if you’re just going to sit there, uh… _naked_.”

Victor glanced down at his own body and startled even himself. He searched around him before settling for a blanket draped over the couch and circled it around his body. It didn’t cover as much as Yuuri hoped. His chest remained exposed. His sleek muscles on show that had Yuuri’s mouth water, desire lingering on his tongue to reach forward, to lock his lips on Victor’s skin and release those needs with a touch from his mouth and a soft grasp of Victor’s -

But he knew better. He had enough self-control to tug his gaze away and with a quick cough, he was back on topic.

“It warned you, didn’t it?” Yuuri began, deciding to dive straight into his assumptions rather than dance around it. “It knew those people were coming, and it warned you with that flashing light.”

It was less of a question by the end and more of a statement Yuuri was confident in, and Victor’s nod had Yuuri ponder what else the little device could do. It warned them of incoming danger and allowed them to become invisible to hide. It could possibly do more, if Yuuri could discover what else it could do.

“And it can do more too, right?” he asked, and Victor nodded again. He stared at the device in awe, his imagination running wild at all the possibilities it had to offer. “Can it help us fly?”

Victor’s grin held a hint of laughter as he shook his head. It didn’t help Yuuri’s need to learn more, but it allowed him to determine that while it couldn’t help them fly, there were other things it could do – an endless array of possibilities Yuuri had yet to discover.

“But it can definitely do more, yeah?” Yuuri asked again. Victor’s nod had him exhaling a long, heavy breath as he fell on the couch, and muttered, “I’m so glad I’m teaching you how to communicate if I’m going to figure out more about this… _thing_.”

The _thing_ being the useful device that just saved Victor’s life. If it could do any more to help them in this time of need, Yuuri wanted to know – he _needed_ to discover what else the core could do, and how else it could help them in the future, if they ever needed it. He hoped – _prayed_ – they wouldn’t have to, but knowing what they do now, Yuuri couldn’t take that risk.

It wasn’t fun and games - not anymore. There were people searching for Victor. They were hunting him, and although their beliefs seem to shift with his presence on Earth, they couldn’t risk exposure. He couldn’t let Victor be caught and captured.

“They’re searching for you,” Yuuri muttered weakly. “I-I don’t think they mean any harm. That man hardly believed you existed, but I-I don’t know _what_ they’d do if they find you. I… I can’t let them hurt you. You do realize that, right?”

There was a moment where their eyes met, and that single second revealed so much.

Victor knew. He realized that better than Yuuri did when he gave a slow, careful nod. He was aware of the danger he was in, and the looming threat that could take him away from everything he’d known and learned since arriving. There was no hesitation, doubt, or pretending like everything was okay. Victor wasn’t ignorant to the danger. He was just… unfazed by it.

He may have smiled and joked, but he knew too well.

“I won’t ever let them get you,” Yuuri stated strong and true, grasping Victor’s hands tighter. “If they find you, they’ll have to fight through me first. I promise, I’ll do everything I can to make sure they don’t find you. I’ll keep you _safe_. You have my word.”

He couldn’t be certain that Victor believed him. His smile was weak, like he was fighting to trust Yuuri’s word, but as he raised Yuuri’s hands to press a kiss to his knuckles, Yuuri understood. The gentle caress of his thumb along Yuuri’s fingers had him certain, and the moment he reached forward to press his free hand against Yuuri’s heart, there was no longer any doubt. Victor believed his word. He trusted Yuuri, and that was all he could ask for.

“We need to be cautious from now on, okay?” Yuuri said, waiting until Victor nodded to continue. “That means no more carelessness, and no more running outside to meet me or sitting by the window. I think staying housebound is best for now, so that also means you can’t join me when walking Vicchan. Until we’re certain you’re clear from harm, you need to stay inside, okay?”

Victor nodded again, seeming to understand the dire seriousness of the situation, but the sorrow clouding his eyes forced Yuuri’s smile to drop.

And he cupped Victor’s cheek, attempting to help him feel better by brushing his thumb along his cheekbone and tightening his grip around Victor’s hand. It wasn’t enough to solve the problem. It hardly did anything for them, but the way Victor turned into Yuuri’s touch, he appreciated the attempt - maybe even needed it.

Yuuri understood his pain. He didn’t want this either, but there was nothing more he could do.

“I won’t let them get you, Victor. I promise.”

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri stayed true to his word.

He did what he could and helped, but there wasn’t much Yuuri could _actually_ do to stop the unknown from running in and taking Victor away. They could only hide. It was the only plan Yuuri had, but something was better than nothing; Yuuri reminded himself that.

And so, they formed a plan. They sat down that evening and created a list of Do’s and Don’ts for them to live by, and surprisingly, it worked for a little while.

It wasn’t hard to keep Victor hidden. He shouldn’t go outside, or stay too close to any windows or doors where someone suspicious could catch him. Victor had to pretend to be invisible while Yuuri needed to pretend he didn’t exist beyond his home. The list was simple. It was short and sweet, and nothing should’ve been wrong with it.

But it was times like this where Victor reminded Yuuri how similar he was to a human, and in more ways than his anatomy.

There came a point where Victor demanded freedom. He never had much to begin with, given he was an unannounced visitor from space, but now there’s less than what he arrived with, and the plan was beginning to get to him. The isolation from the outside world was taking its toll, hitting Victor’s mood with grumpy frowns and longing sighs, and they were only growing worse each day.

Yuuri did what he could to ease Victor’s seclusion. He taught him basic English, an attempt to keep his mind occupied for a short while. He tried opening the back door some morning to allow a little fresh air inside, but nothing was enough. It didn’t satisfy Victor’s need, or persuade him not to test his freedom by lingering near a window for too long. Victor knew the dangers, but he was beginning to take the risks too.

He had a taste of freedom, and longed for a breath of fresh air, but Yuuri didn’t know how else he could help.

He thought about it, more than he’d care to admit. He wanted to do what was right for Victor but forcing him into seclusion didn’t feel it, even if it was their safest decision, but Yuuri didn’t know what else to do. He thought about it while walking Vicchan, and taking a shower; even sleeping next to Victor didn’t help him find new ways to protect him. But after a while, Yuuri wondered if there was any point in keeping him hidden anymore.

He wasn’t sure how he came to that conclusion - not completely. He was driving home when the thought came to mind, and something shifted inside his brain, a realization he never noticed until that very second.

Victor’s existence was doubted. That was confirmed by the man during the phone call they overheard. It had also been nearly a month since those men searched his home and Yuuri had neither seen nor heard from them since that day. It was almost like they gave up looking. It felt like Yuuri was hiding him from a ghost, one he couldn’t determine was real or not.

Yuuri almost wanted to fall back into old routines, but it was still a risky move to take. It was dangerous, yet they still had the core to warn them of any danger. It was their safety net, and as long as they had that to protect them, Yuuri could let go. He could exhale a breath, open the backdoor, and allow Victor outside for the first time since that terrifying day.

He was a little nervous to tell Victor about his decision, but as he knocked the front door open with his foot, both hands full with bags of food to unpack and restock his kitchen with, it would have to wait. He’d tell him when his jobs are done.

“Victor, I’m home!”

He couldn’t hear any footsteps, but he didn’t fret. He knew how silent the alien could be, suspecting he was either upstairs or in the living room – and a quick peek through the door confirmed that Victor was in the living room, sat at his usual spot.

Yuuri didn’t worry. He smiled and decided not to bother Victor for help. It wouldn’t take long for the alien to come running along and attach himself to Yuuri’s hip, arms over his shoulders with a hug to welcome him home before helping Yuuri, regardless if he asked for it. Victor lived by routine. Yuuri learned even his smallest repetitions.

And it didn’t take him long. Yuuri was packing away the last bag when strong arms wrapped around him, trapping him in a hug he couldn’t wriggle out of – not that he wanted to anyway. It was only Victor; his tight arms around Yuuri and cheeks pressed together, softly humming as he rocked Yuuri side to side.

All Yuuri could do was laugh.

“You’re in a hugging mood,” he commented, laughing as Victor nuzzled his nose into the crook of his neck. “I know you’re usually huggable but you’re never this clingy. What’s gotten into you?”

He didn’t want to question it, but when Yuuri caught an empty wine bottle on the ground, he realized _exactly_ why Victor was acting like this.

“Oh, you did not…” Yuuri grumbled, pulling away from the embrace to investigate.

It wasn’t the first time Victor found something he shouldn’t have, and Yuuri doubted it would be the last, but his wine cabinet was among the list of things Victor _shouldn’t_ touch. He spoke to Victor about this before, and Victor agreed not to touch it. Yuuri didn’t even hide his frustration.

“Did you seriously go into my wine cabinet?”

Victor didn’t respond with a shrug or a nod. He just stood there, a slight wobble in his stance as he pouted, almost as if his puppy-dog stare would sway Yuuri’s frustration. If this was any other time, it might have. He would have let it go because Victor was an alien who didn’t know any better, but Victor _did_ know better. He acted out of stubbornness and Yuuri wasn’t pleased.

“Victor, I told you there were things that look drinkable but are _not_ , and this is one of them,” he huffed, raising the wine bottle to make a point. “You knew not to go in there. You know you’re not supposed to drink anything I told you wasn’t good for you. What could have possibly made you think this was a good idea?”

He couldn't help his frustration. It wasn’t the worst thing Victor could’ve drunk, not by far, but he’d rather avoid a hospital visit of the alien drinking himself into a bad state. And Victor seemed to understand that too; his puppy-dog expression shifted to something more apologetic, but Yuuri still had a lot more to say.

“You’re lucky it’s wine you drunk. It could’ve killed you if you drank the wrong thing,” Yuuri began, giving Victor the cold hard truth. Even in Victor’s drunk state, he seemed to understand the seriousness of Yuuri’s words. “I would’ve had to take you to hospital and I don’t know how to explain to them that a man with no documentation, weird silver veins and blue blood needs help without them calling those men who’re searching for you. I don’t know how I’d pay for your medical bills, or keep those men away, or even sleep through another night knowing you’ve hurt yourself because I didn’t do enough to make sure you’d be okay. This could’ve been something worse. It could’ve been dangerous or terrible or – or-!”

His words were cut off by another embrace, one Yuuri neither wanted or needed.

He was still angry. It was a careless act, completely stupid of Victor to do especially with a looming threat hanging over their shoulders. He shouldn’t let Victor’s affection belittle his frustration, but an apology was still an apology, and being in Victor’s arms seemed to ease his fury and settle his chest. It calmed the storm in his mind. It was comfort he didn’t want, but never realized he needed.

And with a final heavy sigh, Yuuri let go of that frustration.

“I’m supposed to be mad at you, you know,” Yuuri muttered, finally caving as he wrapped his arms around Victor’s waist. “You were stupid for drinking that. You were so stupid for risking it and now you’re drunk.”

He could feel Victor nodding, listening to him hum in agreement. There was a small grumble too, a mumble that sounded like a complaint in the back of Victor’s throat, scolding himself for being so careless. Yuuri sighed hard as he closed his eyes. At least Victor acknowledged that he did wrong, and Yuuri took comfort in the soft sounds and grumbling moans coming from the alien nestled in his arms.

Until his mind snapped into reality, and he had already pushed Victor back before he even realized.

“Wait,” he began, blinking madly. “Did you… did you just making a sound?”

The drunken nod shouldn’t have been a confirmation, but the soft hum of approval from the mute alien was impossible to deny.

And suddenly, everything came to a grinding halt.

Yuuri didn’t know what to do with this information, or how he should feel about it. He’d been caring for Victor for months now and not once had the alien ever made a noise – never had he showed Yuuri there was more than just a silent voice. It was a secret he kept until that drunken moment of carelessness, but Yuuri’s mind was running haywire, desperate to piece together everything he knew.

Victor wasn’t entirely mute; he was just unable to speak. He couldn’t talk words, but noises were not among his restrictions, and Yuuri didn’t know why that had him laughing. Victor, even in his drunk state, cocked his head at the reaction.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Yuuri asked softly, a smile on his lips as he reached to cradle Victor’s face. “I know you can’t speak, but you could have… I don’t understand why it took you so long to show that you can make sounds.”

Victor made a noise almost like a purr as he moved into Yuuri’s touch, sighing fondly as his eyes closed. It was cute, and if Yuuri could, he would hold Victor like this for the rest of the day, but his purring reminded Yuuri that there were questions needed to be asked, answers to be revealed.

“Is it polite to be silent around new people?” Yuuri asked, trying his luck at guessing but Victor scrunched his nose and shook his head. “Then maybe it’s a preference, like sharing secrets with a friend or… kissing someone you like?”

Victor’s eyes opened, his bright gaze on Yuuri as he nodded his head. He seemed to have got an idea from that but Yuuri couldn’t guess what was going on inside his mind. Victor’s curious hum had Yuuri thoughtful, his wide smile was unreadable, and he pondered Victor’s intense, but curious, reaction.

Until Victor’s breath was on his lips, and the moment their mouths met with a soft and delicate kiss, all of Yuuri’s thoughts shattered.

It was a quick kiss, too soft to fully appreciate but too delicate to forget, and Yuuri didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure there was anything _to_ say, only his wide-eyed stare spoke words as Victor pulled back, looked down at Yuuri’s lips again only to give him a kiss worth appreciating.

The hard press of his mouth filled Yuuri with a burning desire, one he’d been neglecting for some time now. This was what he wanted; for so long, he yearned to feel Victor’s lips against his own, to touch him the way lovers do and finally, _finally_ let go. He’d been ignoring this, but now Victor had taken that first step, Yuuri didn’t hesitate to make the second.

He pushed Victor backwards until he hit something with a soft thump, but those few seconds where they broke apart were quickly forgotten by another kiss. Yuuri’s mind slipped as his hands to roam over Victor’s body, across his broad shoulders and sleek muscles, fingers gentle but tight as they curl delicately over the back of Victor’s neck. It was too easy to lose himself – too easy to break apart and enjoy the rush of pleasure with each satisfied groan.

But when their tongues dance and Yuuri got the taste of alcohol, he jerked back. He pressed his hand against Victor’s chest, keeping him away as he wiped his lips dry.

Yuuri gulped. “U-uh, I…”

It was one thing to kiss Victor, but another to do it while he was intoxicated, and Yuuri didn’t dare use Victor in a moment of vulnerability. His mind wasn’t in the right place. His decisions were swayed by the consumption of alcohol, and while Victor might have meant everything he did, Yuuri couldn’t return it while he was like this, not after an entire bottle of wine.

“I-I’m sorry,” Yuuri muttered, guilt already eating him alive. “I can’t do that while you’re drunk. I shouldn’t have – I – I feel like I just used you and I’m sorry.”

He didn’t dare look Victor in the eye, but he didn’t need to. The alien slumped forward, arms around his back and head resting on Yuuri’s shoulder, breathing in long and deep breaths.

“I know you might not understand what’s wrong with that, but I can’t let myself do it,” Yuuri admitted, holding Victor tighter in an embrace he needed – holding Victor while he still could. “I want to kiss you. I really do, but I can’t while you’re like this. Victor, I’m sorry.”

He hoped for a response – a nod or even a hum, but Victor stayed silent. He laid heavily on Yuuri, unmoving and quieter than Yuuri expected him to be.

“Victor?” he tried, shaking his shoulder but Victor didn’t budge. “A-are you asleep?”

He gently pushed Victor’s head back, his assumption confirmed to be true. Victor’s eyes were closed, his breath heavy, and head slumped back in a deep slumber. Even in the mess of guilt, Yuuri found a reason to smile.

It was a struggle getting Victor up the stairs into his bedroom, and Yuuri realized after reaching the top step that he could’ve just put Victor on the couch, but that didn’t feel right. He settled Victor down on his side of the bed. He draped a blanket over his body before quickly rushing downstairs to grab a drink of water, returning to find Victor still in place and Vicchan curled up by his feet. Yuuri smiled again and with a heavy breath, sat on the side of the bed.

And in that moment of silence – that second where he could stop to think – Yuuri could only say one thing.

“Shit,” he muttered, touching his lips where he could still feel Victor’s own linger.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOISES, ALCOHOL, VICTOR TIDDIES AND KISSES  
> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> 
> hope ya'll liked it
> 
> comments feed my soul


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _ I’ll give you everything I have _ _   
>  _ _ I’ll teach you everything I know _ _   
>  _ __ I promise I’ll do better

__

As soon as Yuuri’s mind bounced back and his heart eased as well as it could, he was on the phone to Phichit.

His reaction was already predicted. Phichit had never been quiet over his fondness for Yuuri and Victor to get together, so Yuuri knew what he was walking into. He prepared himself for a squeal, or even a cheer of excitement followed by questions he might not know the answer to, but regardless, he was prepared. Yuuri was ready for anything.

_ Except  _ maybe admit the truth. He wasn’t quite ready to do that.

“You called me for a reason,” Phichit’s voice tore Yuuri out of his stare, snapping him back into reality. He was stood outside his bedroom but he couldn’t remember moving there. “I know you didn’t ring just to breathe down the phone in silence, unless this is a butt call. Is this a butt call?”

“No, it isn’t,” Yuuri replied, the slight tremble in his voice disguised by a cough. He hadn’t realized how nervous he was. “I – I don’t know how to explain this without… blushing and acting like an idiot.”

He never got another breath in before Phichit quickly asked, “Did you kiss him?”

Yuuri didn’t say a word.

“Oh my god,” Phichit gasped, and the high-pitched squeal that came out of his friend was something Yuuri already prepared himself for. He didn’t bother hiding his grin; only his best friend would be more excited for him than Yuuri was himself. “I told you! I told you for so long that you just needed to kiss him and it would be perfect. I  _ knew _ he felt the same way. I just knew it and you doubted me and yourself, but look!”

“Well,  _ I _ didn’t kiss him,” Yuuri said before correcting himself, “I mean, I did, but not first.”

Phichit’s prolonged silence was one Yuuri learned long ago not to disturb. It was him thinking, taking in new information before giving his reaction, and Yuuri took the silence as an opportunity to check on Victor.

The alien was still asleep. A few hours had passed since he collapsed in Yuuri’s arms and he hadn’t moved a muscle since. Yuuri smiled, eyes venturing along Victor’s curves, the slight parting of his lips, and sleek chest he gawked over far too often, taking in the being who not long ago just kissed him – who opened up a new path for their relationship to follow. 

His stomach tugged and his heart raced, but amongst the nerves sat excitement. He wondered what this meant for them.

“You mean to tell me that  _ he _ kissed you first?” Phichit finally asked, his voice returning and mind catching up as Yuuri hummed in response. “And then you kissed back?” He hummed again.

There was a brief pause. 

“Well, since you two are finally a couple, can I take pride in saying ‘I told you so’?”

“We’re not a couple, Phichit,” Yuuri groaned, rubbing his hand over his face as he leaned back against the wall. He ignored Phichit’s silence. “He drank an entire bottle of wine. He was drunk and he probably wasn’t thinking straight. He might have meant it, and I’d be thrilled if he did, but I couldn’t keep doing knowing he was drunk. I couldn’t take advantage of that after an entire bottle of wine. I just… I couldn’t keep going.”

“So, you stopped?”

“I can’t kiss him while he’s drunk,” Yuuri defended with a hiss, lowering his voice to avoid waking Victor up. “I feel guilty enough that I allowed myself to kiss him back when I already knew, but to continue that and to… keep going when he might not have wanted it, or meant it…”

“Yuuri…”

But Yuuri didn’t want to hear it. He could already guess what Phichit would say and he didn’t need his friend telling him what he already knew.

It was easy. He just needed to talk to Victor to clear the fog and uncertainty in his mind. It would solve a lot of Yuuri’s confusion, but it wasn’t that simple. It was complicated. It was complex and scary and Yuuri didn’t need to be told how simple it was.

“Look, I’ll talk to him when he wakes up.” It’s an empty promise, but Phichit didn’t need to know that. “But I should go. I’m worried he might wake up hungover and not like it.”

He heard Phichit’s goodbyes but never returned it, and hung up the call with a heavy breath. He leaned against the wall, allowing his head to fall back and his eyes to close. His mind was foggy, but Yuuri took relief knowing he had a rough plan.

He would talk to Victor at some point, but for now, he just wanted to remember how the kiss felt.

* * *

 

 

The aftermath of the kiss wasn’t how Yuuri imagined it would be.

It wasn’t quite the fairy-tale he was hoping for, or vivid fantasy he imagined on numerous nights where his mind wandered as Victor’s skin touched his own. The days continued like any other, as if the kiss never happened.

Yuuri didn’t expect a complete shift in their relationship, but acknowledgement seemed fitting. He wanted a sign, a hint, anything that showed Victor wanted something more, or nothing at all, but he didn’t write a word. He didn’t try to tell Yuuri about their kiss, almost pretending like it never happened, and Yuuri wondered for a moment if he was going crazy.

But it happened and Yuuri remembered it. It felt like a dream - a fantasy so vivid, but he knew it was real. He still had the taste of Victor on his lips. He could still feel his arms around him, his tongue in his mouth and the sweet taste of wine that followed. Victor’s touch was all over, etching memories he could never forget into his skin.

Yuuri hoped Victor would kiss him again. He longed for it, or the same smile he received before their lips first met, but Victor did none of that. He stayed silent, and the harsh reality became real when Yuuri realized what his silence meant.

If Victor remembered nothing, Yuuri decided not to mention it.

He hated to admit it, and the torturous tugging in his gut told him not to think that way, but if Victor couldn’t remember, it meant less than what it did to Yuuri. It was a choice made by his drunken brain – a reckless decision influenced by alcohol and impulse.

Yuuri didn’t want to forget, and pretending like it didn’t happen seemed easy. He just had to not think about it. He should stay silent and Victor would be none the wiser, but it was easier said than done. He didn’t want to pretend. It was always in his mind, tempting him with alluring want. Victor’s lingering touches never ceased - never gave Yuuri a day where he didn’t think about it.

And Victor didn’t help either. His affections continued but he never made a sound. He still huddled by Yuuri’s side every night. He still rested his head on Yuuri’s lap, fingers curled around his wrist to silently ask for his fingers through his hair - an action Yuuri could never forget. He hugged and touched and stayed so close to Yuuri; his affections never changed, and after a while, Yuuri made a decision.

The war inside his mind was undecided – uncertain which direction to go, but Yuuri was aware of his options. He could tell Victor. He could admit the truth and they’d become a couple, achieving something Yuuri didn’t see happening for another few years. It was the ideal scenario. It was easy, and there shouldn’t be anything holding him back.

But anxiety and doubt played part in Yuuri’s decision. It warned him of the risks that came with the truth, the danger still lurking around the corner, and the reminder that Victor was an  _ alien _ – everything could be massive miscommunication.

He could’ve misunderstood Victor’s advances, mistaking them for an alien culture that used affection differently. He could be found by dangerous people who wanted him for experimentation, or by his own kind, returned home without Victor giving him a second look, and Yuuri couldn’t deal with either heartbreak. He couldn’t handle rejection, or Victor’s unpredictable departure, especially while Yuuri finally had a chance.

But he was growing sick of it. He allowed fear and doubt to plague him for too long. The heartache may be too much, but hiding away wouldn’t solve anything, and forcing his feelings aside was no longer an option. He wanted to be selfish. He wished to take a leap, risk it all, and finally do something about it.

He was sick of it. It was about time he finally realized that.

“Victor, can I talk to you for a moment?”

But the second those words escaped his lips, his stomach locked tight. His throat closed. Anything he desired to say stayed trapped in his mind behind the wall of nerves holding him hostage.

The wave of Victor’s hand in front of his face didn’t snap him out of it – not quite. He stayed frozen in the moment, staring at Victor until his mind demanded an escape and he spun on his heel. He left the room, striding through his home and out the backdoor, Vicchan following behind and the alien nowhere in sight.

He didn’t go far. He only sat on the porch, taking in long heavy breaths to ease the torturous tugging deep inside and rapid thrumming of his heart. He wasn’t sure why he found himself outside; whether it was as an escape or for a breath of fresh air or to prepare himself to try again, he didn’t know, but the cool air hit his lungs and chilled his bones. It refilled his being with the ability to feel – to think again and gather together his jumbled thoughts into something coherent.

It wasn’t much. It didn’t settle his mind, or ease the frustration building inside, angry at himself for feeling so  _ weak  _ and  _ pathetic _ , but he had Vicchan on his lap and he was good moral support. He was a distraction – a soft, fluffy distraction who made Yuuri feel like everything would be okay.

But even that façade was only temporary.

“Ugh, crap,” Yuuri groaned, hugging Vicchan closer to his chest. “This shouldn’t be hard. This really shouldn’t be so hard, but why can’t I do it?”

Vicchan’s whine didn’t help Yuuri feel less alone in this. It didn’t encourage him to stand to his feet to tell Victor the truth, or motivate him to find his voice and strength and kiss Victor like he had that day, but it was appreciated. He took comfort in the response and the supportive licks that followed.

He stayed out there for a while, allowing his mind to collapse into uncertainty and chaos. He tried hard to make sense of things, to understand his own mind and decide how he could tackle this – how he could move forward, but nothing seemed to work. The silence was thick. The air sat heavily around him, surrounding his chest with a suffocating tightness and starving his mind of clear and intelligible thought.

Everything Yuuri wanted – strength, courage,  _ bravery _ – was all so hard to reach.

But to take those frightening steps and achieve something he was so desperate to succeed in was the hardest part of all. 

“This is useless,” Yuuri eventually sighed, burying his face into Vicchan’s fur. It was a terrible attempt at soothing the storm in his heart, but he couldn’t find the will to let go. “I should have said something. I should have just told him the truth when he woke up, maybe then I would have been prepared to tell him.”

Vicchan stayed silent, but silence is telling and Yuuri too knew his own words were a lie.

“Alright, maybe not. But still,” he muttered. “How am I supposed to tell him? How do I say to him that he kissed me when he was drunk, and that I kissed him back?”

Yuuri didn’t have an answer to that and neither did Vicchan, but he also didn’t expect himself to find answers. He wanted to. He wished he could understand why he was like this, and what he could do to overcome his crippling nerves, but he was only human. He was no alien with biology that made him shameless, or brave. He was a human - nothing more and nothing less.

If he couldn’t find the courage to tell Victor they kissed, how did he ever expect himself to keep Victor safe, or care for him, or do anything right for the being who deserved the world?

He never felt so small before, not until now. 

When soft arms wrapped around his waist and a silent, warm body pressed against his back, Yuuri’s heart came to a complete stop. His mind collapsed, his breath short from the realization that this was Victor. He knew this touch all too well, but more than that, Victor was there. He heard Yuuri admit his truth. He heard every single word.

He didn’t need to turn, but it felt right doing so, and meeting those strong blues left him almost speechless.

“V-Victor?” He asked, and he wasn’t sure why. He didn’t know what to say or do, but Victor remained silent as he moved to sit beside Yuuri, arms still around him and pressed impossibly close. “I – I don’t – I’m not… I-I… I don’t really know what to say.”

It took him several minutes to gather the nerve to look at Victor. He didn’t want to see him laughing at Yuuri, or smirking at his pathetic attempt to admit the truth, but Victor’s eyes crinkled at the corner with a wide, genuine smile. Yuuri swallowed thickly. He didn’t think he could’ve gone through with this if Victor laughed at him.

“How much of that did you hear?”

Victor didn’t reply immediately. He held his stare as his smile softened before pointing towards his lips, and Yuuri’s cheeks burned. He was certain Victor heard more, but he didn’t need to mention that. It was already embarrassing enough as it is – he didn’t need to add to the humiliation.

But Yuuri didn’t know what else to do. His words were stuck again. His lungs void of the breath he was desperate to take, yet he couldn’t help but indulge himself in the warmth and softness of the being sat next to him. He took comfort being in Victor’s arms, and god, did Yuuri want to kiss him again.

The desire to kiss him was too tempting - too enticing to ignore, and in a moment of sudden impulse and absolute frustration, Yuuri stopped thinking as he gripped Victor’s naked shoulders, tugged him forward, and met his lips halfway.

It wasn’t the best kiss he had. There was too much teeth and it was too fast for him to enjoy, but the action itself filled him with exhilarating warmth. The realisation that he had finally done it was enough for Yuuri to need to bite back a stupid grin, look Victor in the eye, and press forward to kiss him again.

The best part wasn’t the familiar taste of his lips, nor the way he tightly gripped Yuuri’s biceps. It was that he kissed Yuuri back – that he returned the touch Yuuri desired to feel since that chaotic day, and this time, nobody was drunk. Victor wasn’t under any influence or encouraged by his drunk, disorderly mind. He wanted this too. 

Victor needed this, possibly just as much as Yuuri did. He felt it in their kiss – the hard press of their mouths and the perfect tilt of their heads that their lips fitted together so flawlessly; they both needed this.

It was profound admiration, desire he’d been holding back for far too long, but no longer did he have to bite his lip and keep his hands to himself. He could kiss Victor. He could touch him, and Yuuri was aware of that freedom when his hands curled delicately over the back of Victor’s neck. His thumbs traced along the sharp cut of his jawline before his palms slid down Victor’s chest, stopping to rest over his heart.

And when Victor did the same, Yuuri pulled back for a breath.

“I hope it was okay to do that.”

A smile broke out on Victor’s lips as he nodded. The breathy laugh in the back of his throat brought out Yuuri’s own careless chuckle.

It was almost unfair how beautiful Victor was, even to Yuuri who knew all his quirks and annoyances, but that changed nothing. No being should look so much like an angel, silver hair splayed like a halo and reddened lips curved into a soft smile. And Yuuri knew if he met Victor somewhere else along his life, accidentally and by chance, his feelings wouldn’t be any different.

Simpler, perhaps, but no different.

“Do you understand what kissing each other means, right?” Yuuri then asked, voice low as if the volume would break the starry-eyed spell between them. Victor chewed his bottom lip; his answer undecided, regardless that he nodded afterwards. “It means something more than how I see my best friend, or my family. It implies passion, and dedication, but on an intimate level.”

He wasn’t sure where this new-found confidence came from but Yuuri saw no reason to complain. He might still be trapped in an uncertain state – doubt that Victor truly wanted this, but he had his voice. He had the strength to speak, the courage to voice his affections and get on the same page as Victor.

He should have done this long ago, but how stupid he was for letting it get to him the way it did.

“That’s what you want, right?” Yuuri asked, proud when his voice came out steady. “You do want us to become something more? I know I do. I-I’ve been afraid to admit that, and you got so drunk that you forgot we kissed, and I thought it didn’t mean anything to you. But I just… need to know if this is definitely what you want. You’re certain that you want us to be lovers… yes?”

It was a moment that would make or break their relationship, but Yuuri wasn’t sure why he ever doubted a single thing.

There was a bright smile on Victor’s face, one that spoke its own truth before Victor even nodded. He wanted to become lovers too, but seeing his nod was all Yuuri needed. It was all he wished for –  _ desired _ to see since their very first kiss.

And as he kissed Victor again – slow and sweet – nothing else but each other existed. The thousand little moments they shared came rushing back during that single kiss, and Yuuri cherished the moment for everything it is and was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol no i didn't plan to upload this three hours ago
> 
> also heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy talks happened and these boys are FINALLY TOGETHER!! *cheers*  
> Sorry about the lack of Victor tiddies. But there's kisses so it makes up for it i hope
> 
> comments feed my soul I love you all


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _ I’m just a curious speck that got caught up in orbit _ _   
>  _ _ Like a magnet it beckons my metals toward it. _
> 
>  

**** Yuuri thought it would be awkward. He expected his confidence to crumble; his courage to disperse and fall back into old routines where he was too nervous to allow himself the sweet satisfaction of Victor. He prepared himself to wake up the next morning with tense shoulders and a racing heart.

But being Victor’s lover felt normal, and nothing was awkward when he woke up next to him, embraced in each other’s arms and a kiss already shared.

It was unusual how quickly it became second nature to be lovers. Yuuri could’ve said nothing changed between them, but it had, in ways he could only describe as satisfying. Their touches never differed to before, except Yuuri felt freer to give them – confident that returning the embrace wouldn’t be met with rejection. Victor still asked to be held in Yuuri’s arms, huddled close with his hand on Yuuri’s heart or his ear pressed against his chest, listening to the rhythmic beat as he hummed with contentment. There were similarities, but small changes that made everything feel that little more romantic. Where little changed, so much was noticed, yet it all felt so normal.

Their kisses were new. It was the biggest temptation of them all – the allure neither hesitated to follow. The trail of his palms along Victor’s skin left Yuuri in want. His lips were soft and pretty, but it was the feel of them that sent his mind into a sensual state of indulgence, what made him reach forward with the urge to kiss him again. It was those kinds of touches that were new, and the temptation alongside it was inviting.

It almost didn’t feel real. It was like a dream, but nothing about Victor was a fantasy. He was undeniable and genuine and very,  _ very _ real.

And where Victor was real, Yuuri’s mind delved into something deeper. It plunged into a wave of desire he wasn’t quite ready to admit, and inevitably, he found himself with questions he wanted to ask. He’s only human after all, and he thought about having sex with Victor, but having sex with an  _ alien _ sounded… strange.

He’d seen Victor’s naked body enough to confirm his anatomy wasn’t vastly different to Yuuri’s own. The clear differences were the silver veins running along his flesh and the perfection to his skin, minus his scar – a near-flawless, airbrushed tone that had Yuuri’s mouth desire a taste; but Victor was still an alien and Yuuri couldn’t forget that. Sex could be where Victor showed his extra-terrestrial side. He might grow an extra limb when aroused, or he couldn’t get hard, or…

“You can’t get pregnant, can you?”

Victor shook his head as he laughed at him – a soft, throaty laugh that made Yuuri’s lips twitch into a smile, regardless of the creeping blush spreading up his neck. Yuuri expected that answer; he was  _ thankful _ for it, but it didn’t quite satisfy his need to know.

“Okay, okay, maybe not,” he muttered before pausing for a moment. “And you can’t grow another limb either, can you?”

And it continued like that, Yuuri asking bizarre questions that Victor always shook his head at. His queries were getting wilder and with very strange question denied was a breath of relief, yet Yuuri couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t stop to think rationally for a second, that he was overthinking something so simple or to tell himself that he was chasing a lost cause.

He wanted to quit asking. He was  _ going _ to stop, but Yuuri’s mind was rapid in its search and Victor didn’t help.

He was certain – no,  _ positive _ – that Victor was hiding something. He became suspicious after a while; the small twist on Victor’s lips held mischief and his stare had Yuuri wary, interested in Victor’s reaction whenever he so dared ask a new question. There was something he was hiding, something Yuuri couldn’t quite guess. Unless this was a game to the alien, he was determined to find out.

“There’s something you’re not telling me.”

He wasn’t sure why he suddenly blurted those words on, and on that night in particular. Nothing prompted him or pushed him into growing tiring with the guessing game. He hadn’t even asked a question that day. They were just huddled together under the bed covers, Vicchan asleep in between them and Yuuri mindlessly scrolling through his phone when the thought came to mind, and Yuuri found himself speaking before he could acknowledge it himself.

Victor shot him a raised brow.

“I mean about the questions I’ve been asking you,” he explained, deciding he might as well continue now he started. “Every time I ask, you give me this...  _ look _ . It’s almost as if you’re waiting for me to guess it correctly,  _ meaning _ there’s something you can do, but you’re not telling me.”

Victor’s lips twisted into something mischievous and Yuuri raised a brow, waiting. Victor knew what he was doing. He knew more than he let on and Yuuri often found himself here, waiting for Victor to do something, anything that would give him a hint or clue to reveal what he was hiding.

But as Victor pointed toward his head and nothing more, Yuuri huffed hard.

“This doesn’t help me understand what you’re trying to tell me,” he complained. He understood how hard communication was for Victor. His writing was rough and the doodles he began doing were just as much of a guessing game as his pointing, but Yuuri needed more than that. “So it has something to do with your brain, I assume. Are you… telepathic, or something?” 

Victor appeared surprised at Yuuri’s guess as he began nodding, but Yuuri didn’t believe him. After all his failed guesses, he refused to accept it stemmed from the only hint he received – a point towards Victor’s head – but as vague as it was, he couldn’t reject the confirmation.

It was just hard to believe.

“I… really?” he questioned further, doubtful, but Victor continued to nod. “This is… I’m not sure why I’m so surprised honestly. I should have expected – wait, you can’t read my mind, can you?”

Victor laughed as he shook his head. Yuuri took comfort in the relief swept through him, thankful that Victor couldn’t access his deepest thoughts and dirtiest fantasies he’d be too embarrassed to admit. Those were for himself, and thankfully, they remained that way.

But where Victor denied the ability to read minds, he was pointing again. He gestured towards Yuuri’s head and back at himself, shaking his head as he repeated the action. Yuuri watched, the clogs working hard in his brain to guess what else Victor was trying to suggest, but found himself needing to guess.

“It requires… something…?” he questioned, unsure if he was on the right tracks, but Victor kept going – encouraging him. “Is it… a thought? No? Okay, uh… A link? A connection, maybe? Or a –”

Victor interrupted his guessing with a nod, confirming Yuuri’s last guess with a bright smile.

He didn’t know what else to say – or do – but sitting there in a mindless daze felt appropriate. He wasn’t surprised that there was more to Victor than meets the eye. He accepted long ago that he couldn’t learn everything about the alien, that there where things that couldn’t explain with a few simple gestures and badly drawn pictures. It wasn’t surprising, but it was a lot to take in, and Yuuri needed a moment.

But his moment was disturbed, interrupted by movement. He didn’t process what was happening, not until he saw Victor above him, adjusting himself to sit on Yuuri’s lap with his hands on his shoulders, keeping them chest to chest.

And for a moment, Yuuri’s breath stopped entirely.

He wasn’t surprised to find Victor naked, but it still took him back when he glanced down to find a tempting sight before him. They were lovers now and that didn’t help hold back any urges, but Yuuri resisted. He curled his fingers into the bedsheets, keeping his desires at bay until Victor pulled his hands away, moving them to rest on his chest instead.

“W-what are you doing?” He asked when his voice returned, but Victor pressed a finger to his lips, silencing anything he desired to say.

He answered the question with a point to his head. Yuuri watched, following Victor’s finger as he repeated what he did before Yuuri guessed his unearthly abilities correctly, and that was all he needed to understand - somewhat. If gave him an assumption and if it was true, this meant Victor wanted to show him what he could do.

He would telepathically connect with Yuuri.

And as Victor cradled his head, his heart raced with anticipation. The thumbs stroking along his cheekbones had him frozen, but as they moved up, fingers trailing through his hair and nails lightly scratching across his scalp, he fell into a heavenly bliss. His thoughts faded; questions became nothing but an inconvenience as he allowed himself to collapse into Victor’s touch, lost in indulgence as his eyes closed and a sigh brushed past his parted lips.

If this was Victor’s way of making a connection, Yuuri would let him do it again. He’d allow this to happen for hours, lost in a blissful state as Victor delved through every memory and thoughts, shameless to what the alien may find.

But his fingers moved again. Yuuri whined softly when they left his hair, expecting them to return to his face but they didn’t reach that far. Victor’s fingertips pressed lightly against his temples instead, and as their foreheads touched, Yuuri opened his eyes.

There was a tightness on Victor’s face – a deep concentration where his brows hung low and his eyes squeezed shut, lost in his mind as Yuuri waited for something to happen. He wasn’t sure what to expect. He hoped to feel Victor inside his mind, connecting with him, creating a bond only he could understand and know and  _ feel _ , but he couldn’t feel a thing.

And when Victor pulled back, defeat washed over his face, Yuuri’s heart sunk.

“Did it not work?” Yuuri was almost reluctant to ask, but he needed to know. Victor shook his head.  “Is – Is there a reason why it didn’t?”

But Victor didn’t respond. He leaned forward, seeking comfort in resting his head on Yuuri’s shoulder. The reaction didn’t sit easy inside Yuuri’s stomach, but he pushed aside those worries. It was clear enough that Victor craved touch, and he wasn’t one to refuse that comfort.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he reassured, stroking circles on his back. “Maybe I wasn’t open enough for you to connect with me. Is that a possibility?”

Victor raised his head, glossy eyes meeting Yuuri’s as he cupped the alien’s cheek, thumb stroking along his cheekbone as Victor sighed, eyes half-closed as he nuzzled into the touch. He wished to say something to bring Victor back from the anguish that plagued him so suddenly, but he didn’t know what to say. 

The connection Victor wanted – the one he desired to share with Yuuri – meant something to him, and perhaps something intimate. Yuuri’s heart sunk at just the thought.

It created a restriction between them. It stopped Yuuri from discovering more – from learning every inch and curve that made up his lover. This was something Victor couldn’t do with Yuuri and he couldn’t help but wonder what else it limited, and how far it pushed Victor back, unable to do something he could possibly do with his own kind. Victor’s connection could mean more than just something intimate, but a way to open up a whole new side to Victor, revealing things he couldn’t do with Yuuri, like…

“This telepathic connection…” Yuuri began, his thoughts shifting with what could possibly be a realization. “It… can do more, like… communication. Is that a way you can speak to people?”

Victor chewed his bottom lip as he nodded, gaze falling to the ground in a way that felt shameful, like Victor was disappointed in himself. Yuuri didn’t wish to see that. He never wanted Victor to feel ashamed at his own restrictions, things that were completely out of his control. He curled his fingers under Victor’s chin, encouraging him to raise his head to meet his eyes and never turn away.

But there was a cold hard truth hidden in his eyes, one Victor didn’t want to admit. Yuuri, however, wasn’t so willing to ignore it.

“There’s no possible way for us to have a telepathic bond, is there? Because I’m a human and you’re… not.”

He couldn’t deny his disappointment. To hear Victor’s voice would be a treasure he’d hold dear to his heart, but he was also content with the soft groans and moans he could coax out of him – the little noises which set his heart alight and his mind to fixate on how cute and handsome and desirable Victor was.

“Does it limit you much?” Yuuri then asked. “Are you… incapable of doing anything with me?”

He was speaking about sex – and perhaps other intimate touches too – but he didn’t want to admit it out loud. Victor shook his head as he pointed to his throat, suggesting it was only his voice that it affected. Yuuri didn’t completely believe him.

But he settled for the answer as Victor silently requested an embrace, arms around his back and head buried in Yuuri’s neck. Yuuri stroked his hair, enjoying the feel of the soft strands as they slipped through his fingers. It was when they molded into one that Victor made a noise, but it was only a gentle sigh that pressed along Yuuri’s neck.

“This doesn’t change anything, you know,” Yuuri murmured. “You’re still my lover, even if anything restricts us from being that. We’ll find a way.”

And as Victor held him tighter, he knew from experience that he wouldn’t be moving for a while.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor was a lot of things; beautiful, fascinating, and an enigma in the greatest way possible. Yuuri could check off a list of compliments and the alien would define each and every one. He was more than just an extra-terrestrial. He was so,  _ so _ much more.

But sometimes, Victor was nothing more than a nuisance.

It didn’t surprise Yuuri to come home to find Victor doing something he shouldn’t be doing, not anymore. The aliens prodding had eased but his interest never lessened, and Yuuri was fine with that as long as he didn’t touch something that could hurt him or cost Yuuri a fortune. He didn’t need another broken radio, or to nurse Victor from another accidental hangover.

But coming home to find water spilling out from beneath his bathroom door and onto his carpet almost had him not bother to ask.

Almost.

“Victor!” Yuuri shouted, barging through the door with more force than expected. His heart lurched as he nearly slipped on the wet ground, but he held his balance to get a good look at Victor. “W-what are you doing?!”

Victor was in the bath. It was obvious at first glance, but it took Yuuri a little longer to notice that hidden beneath the cluster of bubbles was a bathtub filled to the brim, water continuously spilling over the edge. The faucet continued to run while Victor ignored it, opting to stare at Yuuri rather than sort the issue that had him barge in here in the first place.

Yuuri wished it was the first time he found Victor like this. He had done it once before, but unlike last time, Yuuri had more than just the bathroom to clean.

“What did I tell you about keeping the water running?” he scolded as he stalked across the bathroom. His feet slipped, knocking him of balance but Yuuri held himself steady, continuing his stride as he reached the bathtub and switched off the water. “I told you this last time, if you keep it running it’ll flood the house and I don’t have the money to replace anything it might break, okay?”

Victor didn’t give any look that told Yuuri he was listening, or wanted to. He held a smile on his face, mischief playing in his eyes as he rocked forward in the tub – water spilling over the edge – to come closer to Yuuri. He didn’t have the energy to tell Victor again. The floor was already soaked, as where his pants too. 

He didn’t pay any attention to Victor. He was more invested in trying to decide how he was going to clean the mess up, but if he had, he would have caught Victor picking up a handful of bubbles before it was blown into his face, hushing his thoughts as he stared bug-eyed towards the alien.

For a solid moment, Yuuri didn’t know how to react.

But then he picked up a handful too, and with a smirk on his lips, smothered it across Victor’s face, painting his expression in surprise and bubbles.

The mess on the floor was quickly forgotten, ignored as they blew bubbles at each other’s faces. Yuuri knew he shouldn’t be influencing this. He came in here for a reason that wasn’t to play games, but as he pressed a handful bubbles into the alien’s face, listening to his quiet squeak and breathy laughter, Yuuri couldn’t find it in himself to stop.

It had been a while since they had fun like this.

They continued their game until the bubbles slowly disappeared, either blow into each other’s faces or found home on the ground. Yuuri was ready to call it a draw. He’d been ignoring the mess for too long, but when fingers curled around his wrist, he didn’t have time to react. One minute he was on the edge of the bathtub, the next he was tugged forward, dunked into the bath water and soaked from head to toe.

Yuuri sat up, stunned. His clothes stuck to his body and his glasses were somewhere underwater, but even without them he could see Victor stifling his laugh, hand over his mouth to remain silent. Yuuri shot a glare at him, but the humour soon hit him too, as did the carelessness, and laughter soon began to jump out of him.

It was a stupid thing to find himself laughing at. He shouldn’t be giggling, but he couldn’t help himself, and Victor joining in didn’t offer any relief to his laughter.

“You’re a nightmare, you know that?”

Victor’s grin widened as he picked up the last of the bubbles before blowing them into Yuuri’s face. He batted them away, but even through his blurry vision he caught Victor’s sly wink, almost as if he suggested he won the war.

Yuuri frowned, and snatched his glasses back as Victor handed them to him.

“I should be mad at you,” He told Victor. “You ruined my carpet and you made the bathroom a mess.”

The look on Victor’s face was almost innocent - almost. Yuuri narrowed his eyes, but his smile gave away his attempts at being mad. There was a little frustration, but defeat played part in his negligence and Yuuri didn’t mind that. He’d rather laugh off the situation than let it get to him.

It was nice to let go occasionally. It wasn’t often Yuuri could do that, but Victor seemed to have that spell on him.

“Did you wash your hair?” Yuuri asked, eyes turned to his silver locks. Victor shook his head and Yuuri reached over, grabbing a shampoo bottle. “I’ll wash your hair for you, if you’d like?”

Victor didn’t respond with a nod, but he didn’t need to. The alien never turned down the offer. He spun until his back faced Yuuri, and Yuuri ignored the water spilling over the edge as he poured shampoo onto his hand before lathering it through Victor’s hair. His fingers brushed through his locks, nails scratching along his scalp as he combed shampoo through Victor’s hair, and took pleasure in the soft sighs exhaled past Victor’s lips.

He was sat there for longer than needed, but Victor didn’t seem to mind either. His head fell back as Yuuri washed away the shampoo, eyes shut as he savoured the soft touches caressed across his scalp. Before Yuuri could claim he was done, Victor sunk further into the bath, rested back against Yuuri’s chest with his wet hair tickling Yuuri’s neck.

They sat like that until Yuuri’s fingers crinkled, but when he finally grew tired of sitting in wet clothes, he pushed himself up and stepped out of the bath. He nearly slipped a few times during his attempts to grab some towels but made it without injury, then proceeded to cover as much of the floor as he could with towels that hardly stayed dried before they soaked up all the water. Yuuri exhaled a heavy breath, but it was better than nothing.

“I think we should start thinking about cleaning this up,” Yuuri announced. Victor sunk further into the bath, hiding himself from Yuuri’s request to do chores. He sighed heavily. “Come on, Victor.”

Victor got up, eventually, pout on his lips as he stepped out of the bathtub and onto a towel placed carefully on the floor so the alien didn’t slip. He was naked but that didn’t shock Yuuri as much as it used to. He grabbed a dry towel, wrapping it around Victor’s waist.

“You’ll get cold,” Yuuri spoke gently, lips close to Victor’s shoulder as he pressed a gentle kiss to the skin. Victor turned, towel still held up around his waist as he glanced down at Yuuri’s wet clothes, silently asking a similar question. “I’ll change out of these soon. Why don’t you dry off and bring Vicchan into our room –” _Was_ _it their room?_ “I’ll be there in a minute.”

Victor smiled when he nodded and left the bathroom, towel abandoned when he reached the door and naked once again. Yuuri ran a hand over his face, but his smile was hard to hide.

He peeled off his wet clothes, throwing them in a careless mess at the corner of the bathroom before drying himself. He had a lot to clean up, but right now, Yuuri would much rather pretend the mess didn’t exist and cuddle up in bed with Victor and Vicchan. He could ignore it for a few hours, but at some point, he’d need to clean it.

At some point, but not now.

He found some spare clothes to dress himself with – possibly Victor’s clothes that he abandoned before getting in the bath – and returned to Victor’s side, finding him sat their bed, sheet over his body and Vicchan sat on his lap. It was a sight to see. Victor gently petted Vicchan’s fur, smiling down at the companion with admiration and Yuuri’s heart burned with a gentle allure, enticing him to join them.

“You two look comfortable,” he commented, pulling the sheets back and cuddling close to Victor’s side. He wrapped an arm over Victor’s shoulder, enjoying his lover’s warmth as his head pressed into the crook of Yuuri’s neck, breathing him in. “I’m going to worry about the floor later. Just don’t do that again, please.”

Victor pulled back to nod, and as he looked at Yuuri through heavy-lidded eyes, he noticed how Victor didn’t look himself at all.

“You’re tired.”

Victor exhaled a breath, lips twisting into a faint smile as he nodded again. Yuuri didn’t say anything, but his fingers brushing through Victor’s wet hair was enough to encourage the alien to rest his head against Yuuri’s shoulder again and twist to curl by his side, knocking Vicchan off his lap in the process.

It was too early for Yuuri to sleep too, but an evening lying in bed with his lover and his dog had appeal. He didn’t mind ignoring his few responsibilities to cherish this moment. It wasn’t often his lover slept. He didn’t wish to disturb his peace while Victor was sound-asleep. 

But when Yuuri was mindlessly scrolling through his phone, hours after Victor’s breathing turned deep, something caught his eye – a flashing that felt too familiar. He raised his head, looking over Victor without disturbing him and caught his core on the bedside table. Yuuri’s heart sat on edge, memories of the last time it flashed racing through his mind, but it was different this time. Yuuri raised a brow.

The flashing wasn’t repetitive, nor red, but an uneven pace as it glowed a dim blue. He watched it for a moment, trying to catch a pattern or rhythm, but eventually the core stopped its glow. It lost all light, plunging the room into a strange darkness that left Yuuri uncertain and confused.

But he settled down again. He was tempted to ask Victor what it meant, but the idea of disturbing his sleeping lover had him cuddle closer. He waited with his heart in his throat, ears perked for a single sound or noise to alert them of danger, but silence surrounded them and Yuuri’s uncertain fear eased into contentment.

He didn’t stop thinking about it, but Yuuri didn’t fret. The device always did something Yuuri couldn’t understand, and the flashing was possibly just another one of its strange behaviours. He was certain it meant nothing.

He was positive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victor is a dork and I love him


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _ The night sky once ruled my imagination _
> 
> _ Now I turn the dials with careful calculation _
> 
> _ After a while, I thought I’d never find you. _
> 
> _ When suddenly I saw you. _
> 
>  

 

The core never mattered, in the end.

Yuuri expected something to become of the lights that sparked caution in his heart as he held his breath and stayed on high alert. He kept his eyes on the stars, his mind at Victor’s safety, but nothing happened. He stayed surrounded by lingering silence, and soon, it became no different to the men searching his home - resulting in him worrying over nothing.

And in the mix of caution, Yuuri failed to realize he’d been neglecting love.

He hadn’t been  _ ignoring _ Victor, not entirely. He had shown the alien much of his home, and life just outside his back garden. He had a relatively normal life for an alien - excluding the hibernation to keep him safe and inability to speak a language - but Yuuri thought about it. Victor had seen as much as Yuuri could reveal, and that was all he wanted, but he hadn’t done enough.

He never showed Victor what it was like to be a human couple, to do cute things and make romantic gestures, go out to places and eat nice food just to treat one another. 

And sure, they already did what every other couple would do. They kissed and slept together and showed each other absolute care and affection. By all appearance, they weren’t missing out, but Yuuri had been neglecting giving Victor the true human lovers experience. His romantic gestures had been… pitiful. Victor did what he could for an alien with no voice. He showed his affection through gentle touches, kisses, and fond smiles that never ceased to make Yuuri’s heart flutter. Victor did what he could - he did  _ more _ \- but Yuuri hadn’t been returning the favour, at least, not equally as much as Victor.

He’d been letting the worry get to him and he was disappointed in himself. Victor deserved the world - all the love and affection Yuuri could offer. They had limitations, and his options were feeble, but that didn’t mean Yuuri didn’t have an idea.

He was going to take Victor out on a date.

It wasn’t quite the romantic gesture he wanted to give, but it was the best he could do. It was an experience and it felt obligatory that he and Victor should go on at least  _ one _ date.

He searched for a place to take Victor out without them being too public, but deciding was proving to be a challenge. There weren’t many places Yuuri was willing to take Victor. The town was off limits, and he could do better than a dinner date. A romantic walk didn’t have much appeal, neither did sitting at home to watch a movie. He wanted – no, he  _ needed _ to take Victor someplace completely isolated  _ and _ romantic, but he didn’t know where.

He would have given up with it wasn’t for Phichit – a blessing in the form of a phone call - who gave Yuuri the best idea he could ever think of.

And that was how Yuuri found himself rushing to get Victor dressed early one afternoon, throwing clean clothes over the naked alien with a smile on his face. He said his quick goodbyes to Vicchan, planting a kiss on his head and scratching behind his ear before tugging Victor by the wrist out the door and into the car.

He had time, and patience, but they were wearing thin. He couldn’t miss what he had planned, nor waste too much time.

It wasn’t as quick as Yuuri had hoped. He spent a few moments convincing Victor to get  _ into  _ the car before going anywhere. The alien didn’t trust the strange vehicle, but he trusted Yuuri, and he soon eventually got in and they were finally on their way.

“I told you it was fine,” Yuuri reassured him as he buckled Victor’s seat belt for him before doing his own. “This is a good way of transportation and I’m a safe driver. You’ll be okay. We’re not travelling too far, but don’t stare down at the ground for too long. It might make you sick.”

Victor stared wide eyed, face flushing white in fear when Yuuri realized he chose the completely wrong words to say. Victor pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs as he buried his face, hiding from view as Yuuri exhaled a heavy breath at him. He didn’t want to push. He was patient, but time was running out.

“I’m going to start driving now, okay?” Yuuri warned him. Victor shot him a bug-eyed stare as he flailed, reaching out to grip Yuuri’s wrist and the car door handle, holding on so tight his knuckles turned white. “If it makes you feel safer, you can hold on, but trust me. This won’t be scary, I promise.”

Victor swallowed thickly but he nodded, keeping hold of his tight grip as the car began to move.

He kept his eye on Victor, cautious of the alien’s reaction and the road too. The grip around his wrist didn’t let go, but it eventually loosened, easing itself as Victor’s shoulders slowly slumped. Yuuri kept watch of him for a moment longer, and when Victor’s lips eased into a settled smile, Yuuri turned his focus to the road.

He forgot Victor had never been driven anywhere before. He sat in the car once, perched under the wheel and pulling at the wires by the time Yuuri found him, stopping him before he did any damage. His car was fine, but his radio long stopped working, and that had been Victor’s first and last experience with Yuuri’s car. Yuuri went slower than he should, and checked on Victor every so often. 

He was in a world of his own. He stared out the car window, a sparkle in his eye and lost in a trance as he watched the world fly by. He turned to every field, tree, bush and car that rushed past him, fascinated with everything that was happening around him. It took a lot for Yuuri not to watch him. He was so beautiful, and Yuuri would appreciate that at any given opportunity, but not while he was driving.

“I thought you had already seen the world?” Yuuri asked, recalling a conversation he once tried to have with the alien. Victor shook his head before pointing to the sky. Yuuri looked up quick. “You’ve only seen it from space?”

Victor nodded. Yuuri didn’t know what else to say.

A silence filled the car, but it was comforting. They didn’t need a conversation to fill the quiet void, only themselves and their soft touches to speak words they didn’t need to say aloud.

Victor’s fingers soon moved from his wrist, trailing down until they reached his hand instead and took it in his own. Their fingers linked and Yuuri’s heart did flips, but it was when he looked at Victor and saw the sheepish smile on his face that Yuuri let his own show, tightening his grip and wishing to never pull away.

“We’re almost there,” Yuuri said when he caught the hill coming into view. He never told Victor of his plans. It was going to be a surprise, and he hoped Victor would enjoy it. “Are you excited?”

Victor’s eyes switched from the hill to Yuuri, trying to translate what Yuuri had planned. There was an uncertain look to his face, but excitement in his eyes, curious to see what it was they were doing for the evening. He smiled when he nodded, and Yuuri’s own was all nerves. He  _ really  _ hoped Victor would enjoy the date. 

“I wanted to do something special, and now we’re lovers, I wanted to show you what being lovers is like on Earth,” Yuuri began explaining when they arrived. “When two people are together, they usually do things to get to know each other and enjoy each other’s time with one another. They treat the partner to something just between them.”

He parked the car, helped Victor out, and linked fingers as he guided Victor to follow, beginning their climb up the hill.

“This is what I wanted to do with you,” Yuuri continued, eyes on the setting sun. They still had time. “I wanted to take you somewhere nice. I wanted to surprise you with something I want us to experience, together.”

And as they reached the top of the hill, panting heavily and out of breath, it was completely worth it to see the reaction on Victor’s face.

His face lit up, shining brighter than the sun setting along the horizon. His eyes fell forward, lost in the sea of heavy ambers and reds filling the sky, cascading the clouds in an array of colour and tones. The land itself was beautiful, but from up there, the vast scale of the world almost felt infinite. The land, the sky, it was everything Victor had seen once before, but never from this view.

And never had Victor watched the sun set from Earth.

“I thought we could watch the sunset together,” Yuuri whispered in his ear, circling his arms around his stunned lovers’ waist. “And maybe we could stargaze afterwards? They’re quite beautiful up here. You don’t have a lot of light pollution, so they’re easier to see than they are back home.”

Victor tore his gaze away for a single moment to look at Yuuri. He was all bright smiles and sparkling eyes, nodding excitedly before he turned back to watch the sun.

And they moved to sit together, watching the sun until it disappeared from the sky and fall below the horizon. A creeping darkness followed closely behind, slowly eating away at the last signs of light and replacing the once blue sky with dusk and filling the space above with a cluster of sequin-spilled stars.

They’ve stargazed before. It wasn’t anything new to them, but it had been so long since Yuuri last allowed his mind to slip into its vast endlessness and dream of things he desired, things he wished he could do. He had achieved so much since Victor arrived. He pushed past his anxieties – his fears and doubts – and stormed ahead of his own expectations. He accomplished more than he could ever anticipate, and he had Victor to thank for that.

It was himself who gathered the courage, but it was is lover who gave him the strength to push and the fight to step forward and tell his fears that they didn’t own him. He did it for himself, and for Victor, but he never truly expressed that. He suspected Victor wouldn’t want him to.

It was still so strange to look up and know his lover came from one of those tiny dots in the sky, home to a place so far away, he couldn’t see it with his own two eyes. Yuuri had looked. For many nights he stared up at the stars, wondering,  _ dreaming _ , imagining what Victor’s home was like and where he came from, but compared to the unimaginable depth the universe had to offer, Yuuri couldn’t come close to a thought that made clear sense.

He did however often wonder if Victor knew where his home laid, and as he turned his head, facing Victor whose eyes were glued to the sky, he swallowed thickly.

“Where did you come from?” he asked with little control over his words. He slammed his lips shut, mentally scolding himself for asking such a stupid question, but Victor still pointed. He aimed towards a random cluster of stars. “Oh… that was the direction you fell from.”

And Yuuri had another question, but one he would much rather not ask.

“… You didn’t fall all the way from your planet, right?”

He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, forcing himself silent before he asked another stupid question that bathed him with embarrassment.

Victor gave a low chuckle and Yuuri tried to ignore him, but he still opened his eyes, watching Victor shaking his head before pointing towards the sky again. Yuuri looked up, guesses circling around in his mind.

“You must have been in a ship then,” Yuuri commented, and Victor nodded. He was silent for a moment. “Is it still up there?”

Victor nodded again before taking out his notepad and pen from his pocket. He sat up and turned away from Yuuri, keeping his drawing hidden from Yuuri’s prying eyes as he tried glancing over his shoulder. He didn’t show it until he was done, and passed the doodle over to Yuuri.

He didn’t know what it meant at first. It was a drawing of a small circle next to something he could only describe as a blob. Above it was written the wrong “GONE” with an arrow pointing away from the circle. Yuuri observed the drawing, narrowing his eyes until he had a rough guess to say.

“So... it’s still up there?” Yuuri confirmed. He didn’t completely like what the drawing suggested, and a nervous tremble raced up his spine as Victor nodded. “Dare I ask what happened?”

Victor took hold of the notepad again, but this time, he let Yuuri watch. He drew another circle above the blob and with aggression in his drawing, he drew another arrow shooting through the blob. He made a noise upon impact, then with more squiggles he drew another arrow pointing from the blob and towards the circle, which Yuuri deemed as Earth.

It was strange to watch but Yuuri took pride in his ability to read Victor’s hand gestures and doodles; even  _ if  _ they were guesses, he had a rough idea. He could say his assumptions with  _ some _ confidence, at least.

“Something hit your ship and that was how you crashed?”

Victor neither agreed or disagreed. He drew over the arrow pointing to the blob again before drawing another tiny circle next to it with a stick-figure body, and another arrow was drawn, pointing from the stick figure to the circle.

“You needed to abandon your ship?” Yuuri tried, and that time, Victor nodded.

He was already trying to guess what crashed into Victor’s ship, but Yuuri’s mind fixated on something distressing. Whatever hit Victor’s ship had him in terror and frightened enough to abandon it and take fall to the planet below. He must have known what he was doing. Victor was unpredictable but he wasn’t an idiot, and Yuuri only hoped it wasn’t a life-or-death situation.

“It could have been some space junk or debris?” Yuuri tried to guess but Victor shrugged, unsure himself what hit his ship. Yuuri didn’t dare think what could have happened if Victor hadn’t escaped, or survived the fall. A knife twisted in his heart. “I don’t know how you managed to survive the fall. I assume your space suit helped, but I’m glad you’re here and you’re okay.”

Victor smiled before he reached forward, cupping Yuuri’s cheek to kiss him – slow and sweet.

“I hope you’re enjoying the date so far,” Yuuri muttered and as Victor nodded, he couldn’t help but press a kiss to the alien’s cheek. “I’ll be honest, I really struggled to decide what we should do tonight, but I’m glad I chose here. I’ve been enjoying myself too.”

Their eyes turned to the sky, gazes lost in its hypnotic pull. Yuuri could recall times where Victor would lose himself in the stars. He’d stare for hours with a crease on his brows and a frown on his lips, but this time was different. When Victor turned his gaze away, his smile was brighter than the stars above.

It had been a while since he watched the stars, but Yuuri was the same.

“I have to be honest… Phichit gave me the idea,” he muttered, almost not wanting to ruin the illusion that this was his idea, but he had to give credit where it was due. “I’ve been here before with him and a couple others. We had some drinks and talked, it was nice. He reminded me how it was the perfect spot to watch the sunset, but I remembered how beautiful the stars are from up here, and I wanted to show that to you too.”

He wasn’t sure if it was the silence that surrounded them, or if it was from how close they sat, shoulder to shoulder and fingers linked, but in that moment, nothing but each other existed. The thousand little actions he and Victor shared over their time spent together came rushing into that one single moment, and suddenly, Yuuri wanted to admit every single truth he had to give – every promise and every word.

“Do you ever look up and feel so small compared to the vast endlessness of the Universe?”

And he found himself speaking before he could catch his words.

He didn’t see Victor reply, but he looked up instead, following Yuuri’s gaze as they stared up at the tiny dots that made Yuuri feel so insignificant – so small.

“I used to watch the stars a lot before you arrived. I think I got so caught up in everything that was happening that it became a second thought, but I used to do this a lot.” He paused, licking his lips. His heart was pounding and his mind racing, but Yuuri held no control over his words - his impulse to speak. “I used to look up and wish for something more. I was never really sure what exactly, and I feel the same now, but it always had me dreaming. I was fascinated with everything it had to offer and how beautiful it truly was.”

For just a moment, Yuuri turned to Victor. He could say the same about him too, how he was just like the universe – fascinating and beautiful. It almost hurt to know how little Victor truly knew about the place he called home. There was so much that could hurt him, and ruin the illusion that his planet is peaceful and kind. It would make him run if Victor ever discovered how vile some humans could be.

Yuuri never wanted to lie to Victor. He wasn’t going to begin doing so, but something about admitting  _ that _ truth almost had him reluctant to speak.

Almost.

“This world isn’t as kind as you think, Victor. We hurt each other. We go to war. We hate and despise one another due to beliefs or fiction or things we believe are right, and we see ourselves as superior. It’s a hateful world I live in, but everything up there–” Yuuri pointed towards the sky. Victor’s eyes followed. “–Everything feels possible. It’s its own painting. It’s a work of art I could escape to whenever the world felt so void of love and care, and I always wondered what else was out there. I wondered what I could find if I looked hard enough, and I never expected to find you among those stars.”

And then Victor was looking at him. The tugging in his chest didn’t cease as everything rushed through him – every feeling, emotion, desire and need he’d been holding back. It all came crashing into him with blinding force that he almost wanted to cry. It was too much to bare, but being met with Victor’s loving eyes reminded him that he wasn’t alone in this – both on Earth and beyond.

“You’re not just an alien, Victor. You’re… you are so much more than that,” he explained, heart on his sleeve. “Did you know there were some nights where I believed I could feel it? The soft vibrations of time and space, and its whispers that I couldn’t understand?”

He didn’t expect Victor to agree with him. Even he himself found it farfetched, and when Victor shook his head – as expected – it still didn’t encourage Yuuri’s words to fall silent. 

“I wonder sometimes if that was you,” he continued with a nervous shake to his voice. It was a lot to admit – so much – yet, Yuuri couldn’t find the will to stop. “I wonder if we were destined to meet, that this was the universes plan for us. It’s a stretch to suggest because you could have fallen behind anyone’s home, but you landed behind mine and I’m so grateful. I never regretted meeting you and I’ll cherish every moment I have with you.”

When Yuuri next turned to Victor, there were tears in his eyes, wet trails slipping down his cheeks in a silent cry. Yuuri’s cheeks flushed in an instant and the desire to pull Victor into his arms was tempting, but he didn’t need to in the end, not when fingers gripped his shoulders and hungry lips pressed against his own.

It was all it took for Yuuri’s mind to collapse. He closed his eyes and returned the kiss, opening his mouth and allowing himself to indulge in Victor’s sweet taste and desirable mouth.

He wished to never pull away. It was obsessive, but his breath grew short and he inevitably had no choice but to pull back, but it wasn’t all lost. Victor was still there. He was still pressed close to Yuuri, his arms draped over his shoulders and their foreheads pressed together, hot breaths brushing the other’s lips.

There was a moment of stillness – silence – until they finally moved. Yuuri didn’t know who stirred first, whether it was himself needing more or Victor wanting the same, but their arms circled around each other, molding themselves into one as their embrace tightened.

“I don’t ever want to let you go,” Yuuri admitting, pressing a kiss to the side of Victor’s head. It was a lot to admit, but months of yearning built up into something compelling, and emotions were finally acknowledged. “I know you might be found one day, and you might decide that you want to go home. I won’t stop you if you do, but let me hold onto these moments for as long as I can. Please, let me have your time, while I have it.”

There was something about Victor allowing this – Victor nodded against his shoulder and  _ agreeing _ – that had Yuuri unable to swallow back his tears. He tried his hardest but being held in that embrace and his own words reminding him of everything he feared, he struggled to keep them from falling. He was so terrified of losing Victor, he never truly appreciated their time together. Not really.

He breathed in a heavy breath, pressed his nose into Victor’s hair and planted a delicate kiss there. He smelled nice. He felt good, and Yuuri was certain he’d remember this moment. He’d remember it for the rest of his life.

And there was a point during that night where they eventually decided to leave, but neither knew who made that decision. Yuuri drove them home with their hands laced and their minds only on each other, and something about that had him desire something tempting – something to satisfy the warmth spreading through his veins.

It was what had him push Victor against the door when they stumbled through it. It had them slowly pull their clothes off, lips pressed together and unable to take their hands off one another, not even for a second.

Yuuri knew where this was heading, and Victor did too, but neither seemed to want to stop this. Neither held back as they found themselves on Yuuri’s bed, unable to stop as they indulged in the delicate touches and kisses only lovers shared.

And it was that night they made love for the first time, hidden under the sheets and below the stars still glimmering in the sky. It was everything Yuuri had imagined, and more, and as they slept together cuddled close and naked, he thought back to his own words – he repeated them to himself.

He wanted Victor’s time, and he prayed it would last for an infinity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri you sappy b just tell him you love him
> 
> Me: You could’ve swapped chapter 9 and 10 around you know  
> also me: shut up brain what do you know?
> 
> lol yeah I realized I could’ve swapped them around but apparently past me wanted to be evil my making ya’ll worry about the core. The anticipation awaits!! We’ll find out what it does soon, just not yet. I gotta keep you all on your toes, you know ;)
> 
> But anyway, I've been thinking.
> 
> So it occurred to me, a while ago, that my 'writers block' I'd been complaining about some time ago wasn't a writers block at all. It was fatigue, and thinking back to that, I realized it was most likely me pushing myself to constantly update, to constantly keep up with a schedule and have every single chapter be somewhat perfect, even if when posting I'd shrug off rereading and post it anyway.  
> Taking time away from that helped, but also writing this fic at my own pace (and having to rush it towards the end, don't @ me) not only helped me feel excited to write again, but also reminded me that it's okay to take my time. Hell, I've even seen an improvement, and that's always important. 
> 
> Why am I saying this? IDK!
> 
> Let me just go back to my own crazy self and give ya'll updates, bc my pirate/royalty AU is IN THE WORKS and I AM EXCITED!! I've also got a couple other projects in the works - Anyone up for joining an Angst bang??? YEEEEEEE!!
> 
> Comments feed my soul and i love thank <3 <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _ Ground Control to Major Tom _
> 
> __ Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong _ _
> 
> __ Can you hear me, Major Tom? _ _

 

Yuuri never liked waking up Victor.

It wasn’t that it was difficult. He had no problem getting Victor up and out of bed. There was just something about disturbing the alien’s peace that had him reluctant to shake him awake.

It didn’t matter what time it was. The alien’s peculiar sleeping schedule meant he sometimes slept during the day, or like Yuuri and throughout the night, but when Yuuri woke up that early morning to find his lover fast sleep and curled up by his side, he couldn’t find it in himself to disturb that.

He laid there for a little while longer, watching his lover sleep like he always did. Yuuri indulged himself in delicate touches, fingertips carefully caressed along his lover lips and cheeks, trailing across his nose and over his lashes, spoiling himself for longer than necessary before Vicchan’s demand for food pulled him out of their bed.

He didn’t hear from Victor that morning. He listened out for the soft patter of footsteps while eating his breakfast, but none were heard. Even as lunch time rolled around, he didn’t hear a thing.

He began to make himself some late lunch when he contemplated waking Victor up. He had gone too long without his lovers touch already, he didn’t want the day to be wasted by himself, but sudden arms wrapped around him. A warm, bare chest pressed to his back, and Yuuri didn’t need to know who it was hugging him from behind. He smiled.

“Well, good morning sleeping beauty,” he teased, turning in the embrace to face Victor. He shot Yuuri a confused look, unsure what the reference meant but Yuuri didn’t think to tell him. He brushed Victor’s hair behind his ear, eyes grazing along his faint scar for just a moment. “Did you sleep well?”

Victor’s smile was stupid, drained from exhaustion but he still nodded. He scrubbed at his eyes to clear the sleep from them before letting out a loud yawn, and Yuuri couldn’t help himself as he kissed his cheek.

“I think you could do with another couple hours rest, don’t you?”

Victor pulled a face, shaking his head. Yuuri gave him a look with a raised brow, uncertain if Victor was just ignoring his sleepiness or if he really was awake and ready, but his thoughts faded as Victor kissed him. It was a single kiss, followed by another, and Yuuri didn’t let his concerns stop him when their mouths opened and their tongues met, tasting and delving for sweet satisfaction.

“I think someone woke up on the right side of the bed today,” Yuuri commented when he pulled back for a breath, and sighed breathlessly when Victor moved his kisses, planting soft, delicate touches along his neck. “What’s gotten into you this morning?”

It wasn’t that this was unusual for Victor; he was often affectionate. Even Yuuri himself had the occasional morning where he wanted to indulge and lose himself in Victor’s touch, and especially know, seeing him shirtless and so needy, but there was something about it that felt neither completely desired or wanted. His kisses, while welcomed, didn’t sit right in Yuuri’s mind.

That was until Yuuri remembered what day it was – Wednesday - and that explained his sudden need for a distraction.

“You know, Victor,” Yuuri grinned mischievously, narrowing his eyes as he cupped Victor’s cheek “You can do whatever you like but you still have to learn English today.”

Victor exhaled a loud groan, throwing his head back in a tantrum. It wasn’t the first time he tried to get out of learning and Yuuri doubted it would be the last, but he knew Victor’s tricks well enough to know when something was meant as a distraction. He wouldn’t usually mind, but they were slacking behind and Victor needed to learn how to write eventually.

He was getting better, yes, but he still couldn’t write Yuuri’s full name. And Yuuri swore to himself that until Victor could write it out without his help, they wouldn’t skip another lesson. Too many had been forgotten for the sake of love or sex, or even a full day of cooking baked goods for Victor to try.

He didn’t enjoy the lessons either, but the sooner Victor learned to write, the better it was - for both of them.

“I know you don’t want to do it, and I don’t always want to spend my Wednesday morning teaching you a language that isn’t my first, but we’ve missed too many lessons and you know you need to learn how to write eventually,” Yuuri told him. Victor pouted, and he grinned, planting a kiss on the tip of Victor’s nose. He was too much sometimes, but in the best way possible. “We can start slacking again once you can write my name in full, _and_ without my help, so come on. Go sit down.”

But Victor didn’t move to sit. His eyes widened, a bright heart-shaped smile bearing on his face as he took hold of Yuuri’s wrist. He didn’t pull away. He only watched as Victor held out Yuuri’s hand, palm upright as he began drawing across it with his fingertip. Yuuri recognised this. The alien often did it when he was confident on a word he had learned. Yuuri could never get used to the feeling, but he always loved it when Victor did this.

And when Victor looked up, Yuuri snapped back to reality by the glance of blue eyes and a smile that set his heart racing.

“I... didn’t quite get that,” he admitted. Victor rolled his eyes, but smiled, and repeated himself.

That time, Yuuri paid attention. He focused on the letters Victor wrote across his palm, a few messy and slow as he thought about it, but certain as he continued. It wasn’t just some word Victor learned, no random phrase or term, but something familiar to Yuuri. It was undeniably obvious, and as Victor stopped and the realisation sunk in, Yuuri gasped as his heart did flips.

“You know how to write my name?”

Victor nodded, smiling as he did.

“Wait, since - since when?” he asked, blinking hard as words lost him. He watched Victor shrug carelessly, but that wasn’t enough of an answer. “We’ve missed so many… I thought you never listened to me when I was trying to show you how to write my name. Did you do this in your free time?”

Yuuri tried thinking back when Victor nodded, but nothing came to mind. He couldn’t ever recall seeing Victor work on it in his free time, but knowing Victor - _his_ Victor who often tried hard to ignore his usual lessons - took the time to learn how to spell Yuuri’s full name, and without his help either, warmed his heart the best way possible.

“That… is so sweet, Victor,” Yuuri grinned and cupped Victor’s cheeks, thumb stroking before he reached forward to kiss him. “Thank you.”

A thought flashed through his mind as he delved in for another kiss, a moment of desire that reminded him of Victor’s attempts to avoid learning. Victor needed to learn _some_ form of English to pass off as a human, just in case, but they had the entire day left to do as they please, and Yuuri didn’t mind starting lessons later than planned.

“Do you still want to do that distraction you had planned?” Yuuri asked, a smirk on his lips as Victor nodded. He didn’t need the approval, not completely. The desire in Victor’s eyes was enough to confirm that, but it was always welcomed to ask. “Why don’t you go upstairs and wait there for me while I clean up quick. You can surprise me with whatever you had planned, yeah?”

Victor nodded as he moved and rushed up the stairs in a flash, quicker than Yuuri could process his movements. Yuuri smiled, shaking his head to himself as he cleaned up the mess that was going to be his lunch at a speed that put Victor’s to shame, and with the kitchen quickly cleaned, he stopped for a moment. He took a deep breath, prepared his anticipating heart, and turned.

But as he spun, he didn’t expect to see Victor.

“Victor!” he gasped, hand to his heart. “I – I thought you were going to stay upstairs?”

There wasn’t a smile to his face, not like there was before. His expression dropped to something disheartening, and Yuuri wasn’t sure what unsettled him the most – Victor’s sudden change in demeanour, or how his clasped hands pressed close to his chest, almost as if he was hiding something important.

“Victor?” Yuuri asked again, his voice wavering at the dread upon Victor’s face. “Is everything alright?”

He moved gingerly, unafraid of any reaction but cautious. He reached out, fingers curling over his cheeks as he delicately cradled Victor’s head, thumbs stroking over his cheekbone as a tear fell from his eyes. He didn’t understand what was wrong, and without a hint, he couldn’t know, but he wasn’t going to let Victor feel pain without himself finding a way to help him.

“Victor, what happened?”

But a startling flash of vibrant blue illuminated through his window, alerting the two of a sudden presence beyond the back door. It hit Yuuri with a brutal truth. It struck him like lightning, and in that heart-stopping moment, he was unable to look - to acknowledge the unearthly beam just outside his door.

He could ignore it. There was nothing stopping him from living in denial and turning away from the light, pulling Victor along with him without a second thought. He could deny the truth. He could refuse it, but as Victor opened his hands to reveal the core sat in his palms, its blue light flashing its familiar, untuned beat, Yuuri knew he couldn’t ignore this.

He didn’t need to be told what this meant. But he could still beg for it not to be.

“Victor…” Yuuri mumbled, head shaking side to side and voice already trembling with the threat of tears. “Please – please don’t say this… I – I don’t – _please_.”

But Victor’s eyes squeezed shut, face holding pain and anguish. It wasn’t just Yuuri who wished this didn’t have to be, but seeing Victor so hurt by it – so heartbroken and pained that this inevitably happened – was a constant sting in Yuuri’s chest, one he couldn’t ignore with scrambling grasps to keep Victor in his arms.

He almost felt stupid for believing this day might never come. There was always going to be someone looking for Victor, whether it was his own people or Victor’s kind, but Yuuri’s ignorance could only ignore it for so long. It was impossible to escape the storm happening outside, but Yuuri stubbornness still tried to ignore it.

Even as Victor pressed the core to his chest, allowing his space suit to replace his nude body, Yuuri held onto that tiny piece of hope that told him Victor wouldn’t accept this. He tried to hold ignorance to his heart forever, but it only worked for a few mere seconds, as difficult as that had been.

It was when they stepped outside that Yuuri’s denial collapsed. It was impossible for them to escape this. He couldn’t outrun a beam that stood tall, or ignore the light that endlessly reached the skies, waiting for the moment it could disappear and return to the heavens. There was no spaceship Yuuri could see – no UFO or capsule that could explain this, but it was alien technology that didn’t need explaining. It was the truth Yuuri had been so desperate to ignore.

There was always going to be help on the way, and inevitably, it finally found who it was looking for.

“Did you know?” he asked too desperately, failing miserably at his attempt at stay calm. “Did you know they were close to finding you?”

Yuuri almost didn’t believe him when Victor shook his head, but he couldn’t imagine Victor keeping this to himself. He would have told Yuuri. He would have found a way to let him know, even if it took a few hand gestures, doodles, or badly written words - he would have found a way. He would have shown Yuuri, just like he had with the flashing core moments ago.

But Yuuri was certain there would have been another warning. This wasn’t like the first time when the danger was sudden and fast. This was slow approaching, gradual, but why Victor hadn’t shown Yuuri any more of the core’s warning, alerting them that something would happen with any coded messages or flashes of colours had Yuuri…

It had him remember.

“Shit,” he muttered, hand brushing through his hair and taking a tight grasp of his locks. “I’m… I’m an idiot.”

He should have known.

It was that evening they bathed together when Victor flooded his bathroom then slept soundly; Yuuri saw the flashing glow. He remembered the core’s alert of something, but he never questioned it. He never thought to tell Victor.

He knew all this time. He knew all along and he never said a word.

“Fuck, Victor, I…”

But how could he tell him that?

There was a moment – as brief as it was – where Yuuri felt nothing at all. His heart froze and his mind stopped, unable to comprehend the truth he’d been trying so desperately to ignore, but quicker than it stopped, it all came back to him. It barged into his mind from a single touch from Victor as he cupped Yuuri’s face, and Yuuri found himself doing the same. He reached out, holding his lover in his hands, silently begging to never let go.

He had no words to explain himself. He couldn’t say anything that would help make this any easier, or ease the ache in his chest. There was nothing he could do. There were no words to be said, and soon, tears flooded down his cheeks – fast and never-ending.

“Please,” he begged, but he wasn’t sure exactly what he was begging for – another decision, or refusal to leave? It was a futile attempt and Yuuri knew he wouldn’t win, but he couldn’t find it in himself to give up. “Victor, please. Please, don’t – don’t go, I – I need you, I-”

Yuuri could hold back his tears. He could keep them at bay, forced silent by a tight press of his lips to keep his sobs in his throat, but when their foreheads touched, he couldn’t bite it back. He couldn’t control himself when a cry so raw fell from his lips, broken and harsh, striking his chest with a heart-breaking ache that did nothing to stop his tears.

Yuuri would plead all day for Victor to stay on Earth. He’d get down on his knees, beg for him to stay, and pray that eventually the beam would give up and disappear. He’d do it in a heartbeat, but as he glanced over Victor’s shoulder and caught a figure phasing into view – a man with an impatient but sympathetic look to his eyes – Yuuri’s heart sank.

He didn’t know who this man was. His appearance was human, but it wasn’t enough to trick Yuuri. It could be Victor’s family, a friend, or just a stranger who was part of the rescue mission, but it didn’t matter who they were to Victor. It was at that moment Yuuri realized exactly who he’d be taking Victor away from. He’d hold him back from his life, his family, friends, and everything he was so familiar with. He’d keep Victor away from his home.

Yuuri could deny it as much as he wanted, but he knew himself better than anyone. He would never forgive himself if he took Victor away from someone important.

The inevitable decision was Victor’s. He could leave if he wished, or stay if he wanted; Yuuri would have to accept either decision. He wouldn’t blame Victor, but something about saying goodbye had him frantic and scramble to keep hold of what he held dear to his heart.

“Don’t go,” he pleaded. He knew deep down that he shouldn’t try to sway Victor’s decision with desperate begging, but he couldn’t find it in himself to not try. “You – you can stay here. You can start a new life here. You can stay here with me and Vicchan, right?”

But Victor squeezed his eyes shut, tears falling faster. Yuuri didn’t need to be told that this was hard on Victor too. He could see it in his face; the harsh reality weighed down his usual perky smile and bright eyes. There was no happiness left behind, no joy or laughter – nothing but heartbreak and anguish.

It pained him to watch, but what more could Yuuri do?

He could hold Victor back. That was an option, even if he’d hate himself for doing so. He could keep hold of his lover and tell the other alien that he wanted to stay on Earth with him and Vicchan, and pray it wouldn’t result in his head getting pulverized. He could do it and nothing would stop him. Nothing other than his own guilt could stop him from forcing Victor to stay on Earth.

But the decision was neither his nor the other aliens. It was Victor’s. He was the only person who could make that decision and Yuuri would accept that. If he decided to leave and return home, or stay and live with him and Vicchan, the choice was – and always would be – Victor’s.

“The choice is yours, you know,” Yuuri muttered eventually, eyes unable to meet Victor’s as they stayed glued to the ground. “You can leave. You can stay. I’ll accept whatever you choose, but just know that I…”

But as Yuuri met those impossibly blue eyes, his voice froze in his throat, trapped behind the lump that threatened to release another sob. There were words he wanted to say – so many words that spoke to many truths, but Yuuri didn’t know where to begin.

“I’ll miss you,” he admitted – a simple truth. His lips were too close to Victor’s, but he couldn’t indulge in a kiss. He’d never let go if he did. “I know whatever you decide is your choice, but I… I don’t want you to go. I’ll miss you so much, you know that, right?”

Victor nodded, moving his hand to tightly grasp Yuuri’s own. Yuuri didn’t doubt he already knew that, but he just needed to say it. He just needed Victor to _know_ , and no matter how much Yuuri wished for Victor to stay – how tempting it was to wrap his arms around his lover and call Victor _his_ – it wouldn’t be right.

There was no reason for Victor to stay. He and Vicchan weren’t enough to sway Victor’s decision when he could return home to his family and life and everything he’s so familiar with – people he could communicate with, a language he didn’t hate learning, and everything Victor grew up with. Yuuri knew in comparison he was nothing that important. He was only just a memory in the middle of Victor’s existence.

He was an experience, but he was only temporary.

“You should go home,” Yuuri spoke. His heart broke at his own words and he squeezed his eyes shut, unable to watch Victor’s expression. He didn’t need to see Victor deny those words, or agree to them. They both knew what decision should be made. “Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be, okay? Just… go home. Go where you belong and don’t regret doing so. I won’t ever forgive you if you do.”

But no matter how hard it was to watch Victor, he couldn’t tear his eyes from him. This could be the last time he’d ever see him, and Yuuri wanted to remember every inch of him. He needed to see what made up his lover.

There was a hint of reluctance in Victor’s eyes as he pulled back, tears holding still as he stared back at Yuuri, but this wasn’t easy on him either. Yuuri may not know what was going through his mind, or what he wished to say to Yuuri that didn’t involve a long and complex explanation to say a couple of words, but Yuuri knew enough to know that Victor cared deeply about him too. He loved and cherished him just as much as Yuuri did in return. He didn’t need words to know that.

Victor then spun, head glanced over his shoulder and towards the man who was beginning to grow impatient. Victor turned back to Yuuri, then the man again, and held his stare for a moment, expression shifting as he did. Victor gave a look towards the man, one that nearly had his tears slip again as the man reacted, almost like they were having a conversation Yuuri couldn’t hear. He was vividly reminded of the connection he and Victor failed to achieve.

And when Victor turned back, eyes wide with tears, he stayed frozen for a moment. He didn’t move a muscle, but almost startled Yuuri when he did, quickly delving into his arms before Yuuri could prepare himself. He pressed his head into the crook of Yuuri’s neck, tears staining his shirt as his shoulders jumped with each silent sob ripping from his chest. Yuuri held him tight. He kept him close, eyes squeezed shut as he pressed a kiss above his ear.

“It’s okay,” Yuuri whispered. He felt Victor shudder, tears spilling faster than Yuuri’s own. “You can leave if you want. You can go home. It’s okay, Victor. It’s okay…”

But even saying that didn’t help. This was going to be hard no matter what he said – no matter how calm his words may sound.

When Victor pulled back, Yuuri knew he should let go, but he couldn’t resist. He leaned in closer, their foreheads touching, and he couldn’t fight the thoughts that were going through his mind. If this truly was the last time he’d see Victor, he wanted to make it count.

And there was something so heavenly about the kiss, a tender moment that just couldn’t wait, but their time had long run out. It was a burst of desire, not caring for the man who was waiting for Victor to leave, or the beam of light that tore all hope and joy from Yuuri’s heart. It was their own connection that, compared to Victor’s telepathy, could only be achieved between them. It showed strength no other bond could create. It was their own, and nothing could deny that.

Yuuri never wanted that moment to end. He wished for it to last an infinity, trapped in that single moment in time where it never ended, but he never wanted to kiss Victor like that. He never wanted to find himself having their final kiss.

But as Yuuri pulled away, he stepped back. Victor chased his lips, hand outstretched as Yuuri continued moving. He couldn’t stop, only when his back hit the door that he came to a halt, and he watched Victor, unable to turn his eyes away for even a second.

“Go home, Victor,” he told his lover – one final time. “Go home, but don’t you dare forget about me.”

Victor chewed on his lip, but he didn’t hesitate to shake his head. He pressed a hand to his heart, making a promise Yuuri knew Victor would keep and in return, he did the same. He’ll never forget about Victor either – it was impossible to – but Yuuri needed to make sure Victor knew that.

He watched Victor turn, heart yearning to rush forward and follow, accompany Victor on his voyage through the stars and to his home planet, but it would be a stupid and reckless decision if he did. He saw the man step forward, hand pressed against Victor’s back as he guided the alien towards the beam. There was something building inside, a frantic ache that made it hard for Yuuri not to beg again, but he bit down on his lip hard. He needed to let Victor go. He had to say goodbye.

As Victor and the man turned, their eyes met. It was one last look – one final glance that spoke a thousand words as Victor’s hand pressed to his heart, and with one step, they moved backwards, disappearing into the bright beam.

Everything fell dark in a heartbeat. The blinding light that once illuminated his yard disappeared. The two aliens that once stood before him were gone, and Yuuri’s heart that once remained intact broke into two, splitting as the harsh reality settled in.

And Victor – the alien who crash landed into his heart – was gone.

 

* * *

 

 

_I’ll miss you, my sweet human. But until we meet again, I will carry our time together through the stars and back, and our love to the ends of the universe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH HI ANGST HOW THE HECK ARE YA?
> 
> Them: *gets together*  
> Me: NOT FOR LONG *everything burns around me while I'm laughing manically*
> 
> yeah i have nothing to say for myself feel free to yell at me in the comments. this is the one time i permit ya'll to @ me
> 
> but on the bright side
> 
> 2 chapters left
> 
> WE NEARLY THERE! AND THE HAPPINESS WILL BE BACK SOON I PROMISE 
> 
> comments feed my soul, even if it's yelling


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _  
>  Can you hear me, Major Tom?  
>  _
> 
>  
> 
> _  
>  Can you hear me, Major Tom?  
>  _
> 
>  
> 
> _  
>  Can you hear me, Major Tom?  
>  _
> 
>  
> 
> _Can you-?_

 

 

“We assume you know why you’re here.”

It was less of a question and more of a statement, but Yuuri only nodded. He had nothing more to say.

There were many ways he imagined how Victor’s departure would go. He expected himself to curl up under his sheets to let out a good cry, or to stay sat out in his garden, staring up at the stars until they disappeared with the morning sun, heart broken and tears still fresh down his cheeks.

And he did get a good cry – at some point. His tears fell before he was ushered away from his home by the same men who were looking for Victor months before. He was taken to a place he didn’t know, inside a building he didn’t care about, and sat down in a small room that had nothing but a chair, a table, and an overhead light that was too bright for his sensitive eyes.

It all began what might have been twelve hours ago. He didn’t know. There was no way to know the time, but Yuuri knew it had been hours that he was sat inside that room, waiting for somebody to come in and question him about information he didn’t wish to tell. They’d ask about the alien he was harbouring. He knew why he was here.

And if Yuuri was honest, he didn’t care – not anymore. Victor was gone and there was nothing they could do.

“We caught this coming from your location,” a voice told him as a picture was placed in view. Yuuri’s heart did a thousand flips, tugging mercilessly as he stared at a picture of the same beam Victor left in – the same night his lover left. It took a lot to swallow back the lump in his throat. “Can you tell us what it is?”

Yuuri stayed silent for a moment, staring blankly ahead before he gave them a pitiful, weak smile.

It was funny to see how much they didn’t know, but Yuuri wasn’t an idiot. They knew more than they revealed. They knew what they were doing and Yuuri wasn’t prepared to fall into their trap. Victor may be gone, but Yuuri was still here. 

“If you had to bring me here, I think you must already know what that is,” He said, proud his voice didn’t tremble along with the tears that threatened to spill. “You didn’t find anything in my home, did you?”

He looked up, finding their eyes staring at each other rather than him. His smile grew, weak, but wider, and proud that he caught them. He was almost too tired to care, but he wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of tricking him into spilling information about Victor. 

There was something about the way he had done this – the way they dragged Yuuri from his home only hours after his lover left, kept him sat in the same room for most of the day before finally questioning him on something they already knew – that had him clench his fists until his knuckles turned white. It wasn’t their story to know, and neither was Yuuri willing to tell them what had happened that night.

But he had his own questions he wanted to ask too, and if they were going to speak, then so could Yuuri.

“So, how long did you know?”

“Until last night,” a man answered – the same one Yuuri saw when he and Victor were hiding from him in the shed. “It’s not every day an unidentifiable object enters the atmosphere, and when it lands in the same area we’ve marked down a suspicious, it’s easy to put the two together.”

Yuuri exhaled a long breath, gaze turned to the ground.

“You know there was an alien.”

“Yes.”

“And what do you expect me to say about that?”

“We want to know more about it,” the man replied, Yuuri’s nails driving deeper into his skin. “We need to know its intentions, where it’s gone, why it came here. If you had an association with that alien, we need to know for the safety and protection of our planet.”

Yuuri didn’t completely believe them. It wasn’t just about protection; it was about information. They didn’t want to learn what Victor’s intentions were more than they wanted to know what he could do, what abilities he had and how they could abuse it for their own selfish cause. Yuuri had seen enough movies to make an assumption, and those men were the least bit convincing.

“It doesn’t matter now,” Yuuri muttered, arms crossed as his blank stare returned. “What you’re looking for is gone. That’s what this picture means. He’s gone and he’s not coming back.”

“What do you mean it’s gone?”

Yuuri turned his stare towards a different man. He was already tired of their questions. As he sat up, he pushed the picture away from him and towards the two men demanding questions he didn’t want to give answers to.

And to call his lover an  _ it _ … Yuuri wasn’t going to show them any mercy.

“That beam of light was  _ his _ own kind finding him and taking him home,” he began, making sure to emphasise that Victor wasn’t an it. “This was him leaving me. He’d gone back home. He’s with his own people on his own planet so you don’t have to worry about him trying to take over or anything. They’re not the kind of species that would do that.”

“And how would you know that?”

“Because he’s been with me for eight months,” Yuuri admitting, staring with gritted teeth at the man continuing to doubt his lover. He was telling them too much, but they already knew. He might as well bite the bullet and continue. “I’ve had him since late September to determine whether he’d try to take over the world and I know for certain it’s the last thing he’d do. He’s no different to you and I. He was stupid and reckless and poked things he didn’t understand but he… he was smart too. He was kind. He was somebody I deeply cared about, but now he’s gone. He’s gone and he’s not coming back.”

“But what makes you think he won’t come back with an army?” The man questioned, moving to sit across from Yuuri. “How certain can you be to know that he wasn’t lying to you?”

“He couldn’t even talk so he couldn’t lie to me. I watched him for so long and he’d done nothing to make me suspect he had bad intentions,” Yuuri growled. The men muttered to themselves, but Yuuri wasn’t finished. “And I once watched him pour out an entire box of cereal just to put it back in the box again. If you think that’s ‘war material’, I’d suggest you rethink that.

And to Yuuri’s surprise, they did.

They left the room in silence, leaving Yuuri alone with his anxious thoughts that told –  _ screamed -  _ at him that he said too much and put Victor in danger, and if anything happened, it was his own fault. It was easier to ignore those thoughts knowing Victor was gone. Whatever happened on Earth was no longer his concern, but it didn’t mean Yuuri didn’t hate himself for saying too much.

His and Victor’s time were their own and he spilled too much already – tainting their memory together by men with ill-intentions. 

They soon came back. There was paperwork Yuuri had to sign, confidential agreements where he couldn’t talk about Victor to anyone, or anything related to him, or even the discussion they just had. Yuuri signed it all with gritted teeth and a twist in his stomach.

And when Yuuri finally returned home, exhausted and heartbroken, he finally allowed himself to let go. He broke down at the door, sliding down its frame until he hit the ground, and cried into his hands.

* * *

 

 

Yuuri cried a lot

He cried into Vicchan’s fur. His companion missed Victor too but he was the perfect comfort for him, just he wasn’t enough to fully heal Yuuri’s broken heart. He cried into his pillow at night. The cold side of his bed was horribly obvious with each waking hour. He could still smell Victor’s scent – the alien presence lingering even without him being there, and that was the hardest part.

Yuuri spent most of his day doing nothing other than crying. He slept when he was tired, and ate when he remembered, but he mostly stayed curled up on his bed, Vicchan in his arms and sobbing with pitiful attempts to try to stop. He tried hard to stop crying. He did things to distract himself but none of it was ever enough. His phone was nothing but a string of reminders, and he’d always find himself scrolling through his photos, smiling with tears in his eyes at the pictures he managed to snap of Victor. He knew he should stop, but he could never bring himself to do so.

He knew he’d been ignoring Phichit too. He’d seen his friends’ messages, but he had no interest in replying to them. It was too much effort for someone who wanted nothing more than to lie down and cry all day.

And he wasn’t surprised when Phichit turned up a week later, barging through his door with Yuuri’s name called. Yuuri didn’t bother to get up from his bed. He let Phichit find him himself.

He heard the door open, and as silence followed, Yuuri looked back.

He realised how terrible he must look when he saw Phichit’s reaction. He had tears down his cheeks, his hair needed a wash, and Phichit’s face said it all. Yuuri was a mess, and Phichit knew the exact reason why.

“Victor’s gone?”

Yuuri nodded mutely.

“They found him,” He muttered, voice quivering with the threat of tears. He hardly noticed Phichit’s terror, eyes wide as fear flooded his face, but Yuuri was quick to correct him. “His people, I mean. They… found him. He went home and I – I couldn’t keep him from that. It’s his life, his home and his family and – and I…”

He never realized it was Phichit who took him in his arms. For a brief moment, he expected to find Victor when he looked up, bearing a heart-shaped smile and holding him so tight with absolute care and commitment. It was a horrible reminder, and fresh tears fell, but Phichit was good. He was still good.

And he cried, babbling to Phichit about what happened and how Victor was taken home, why Yuuri chose to let him go, and how his week had been since his departure. It had mostly been a blur, but Yuuri explained the best he could. He rambled until he lost the words to speak. He talked until his voice grew hoarse from his cries, but his sobbing soon subsided.

“Wow…” Phichit eventually gasped, pulling back in the embrace to look at Yuuri. “I’m going to be honest, but you’re a bit of a mess right now.”

He  _ was _ a mess. He didn’t need Phichit to tell him that; he was painfully aware of how wild his emotions were, and how he hadn’t showered that entire week, or eaten properly. He hadn’t maintained a functional routine to stay fit and healthy. Yuuri knew that, and being reminded wasn’t something he was particularly thankful for.

“Thanks,” he grumbled.

“I’m just telling you the truth, and I think that’s what you need right now,” Phichit spoke. Yuuri didn’t want to reply, only choosing to hum in response as he hugged his legs to his chest. He could really do with a cuddle from Vicchan right now – or Victor… “And if I’m honest, I think you did the right thing letting him go.”

“I had to,” he eventually muttered. “I couldn’t force him to stay. I couldn’t stand there and tell him not to go home, no matter how hard I begged for him not to. I’d feel guilty if I did. I had to let him go, Phichit. I couldn’t – I couldn’t let him turn away from his life like that.”

“You did the right thing, Yuuri.”

“But did I?” Yuuri asked almost frantically. There was a feeling building inside, like an agitated twist in his gut he couldn’t shift, bothering him since the day Victor left. “If he stayed, I’d feel guilty, but he left and now I feel… empty. It’s like there’s a piece of me missing and I’m afraid I didn’t fight hard enough to keep hold of it. I told him to  _ go _ , Phichit. I didn’t try to make a compromise with the man who appeared, or find a way for Victor to stay. I could have tried harder to fight for him to stay, but I didn’t. I let him go.”

“Yuuri, you  _ did _ fight for Victor,” Phichit reassured him with a tight grip on his shoulder. It didn’t help him feel better. “You begged for him to stay. You  _ told _ him you didn’t want him to go. He knew that and he didn’t want this either.”

“But what if me telling him to go just changed all that?”

“You’re overthinking it.”

“But it could be true,” Yuuri argued. He watched Phichit sigh hard, but he couldn’t understand – not completely. “I didn’t have enough time to tell him everything. It all happened so quickly, I never got to tell him to try to visit, or if I could join him, or…”

And the sudden realization hit him like a truck – full force and cruel as it punched his chest so hard, it knocked every breath out of him. His lungs were void of air, his heart came to a complete stop, and Yuuri’s trembling hand pressed against his mouth. Fresh tears slipped down his cheeks, but he made no effort to wipe them away, not when he knew they’d continue.

“There was so much I didn’t tell him,” Yuuri wept. “I never even got to say that I love him.”

There was so much Yuuri never got to tell Victor. He could accept that, but missing the opportunity to express his deepest emotions – to tell Victor that he  _ loved  _ him – was something Yuuri could never forgive himself for. He told himself not to waste his time with Victor. He craved to make every moment count, but he held back those three words for too long, and now it was too late. He missed his chance. And he may never have that chance again.

“Yuuri…” Phichit’s voice tore Yuuri out of his thoughts and back into harsh reality. “I think there’s something very important that you’re forgetting. Victor got here once before. His own kind can make it here. I’m certain that Victor knows how to get back to Earth, but also where to find you if he does return.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying that just because Victor left doesn’t mean he’s gone forever. He’s made it to Earth once before and he now has a reason to come back. He won’t just leave you like this without finding some way to let you know he’s returning, or coming back to see you. I’m  _ positive _ you’ll see him again. Not now, but soon.”

Yuuri stopped for a moment, breath held and mind searching through Phichit’s words. The strangest part was that Yuuri couldn’t say he was wrong. Victor  _ had _ the technology to return. He arrived here once before and if Victor’s own kind could find him, he could do the same. There was – _ could _ be nothing stopping Victor from returning back to Earth to spend the remainder of his live with his human lover. He could always come back.

But Yuuri was all he had on Earth. He was nothing but a  _ human _ with no abilities or fancy technology. He had nothing more to offer Victor. He couldn’t even connect with him because of his biology – and suddenly, Yuuri was back again, falling as a mess of doubt invaded his mind with thoughts less positive and uncertain. 

“Why would he come back?” Yuuri asked, a sigh exhaled past his lips. “He’s back on his home planet. He’s where he belongs, surrounded by people who he’s grown up with and can understand him. I couldn’t do any of that. Why would he come back here when he has all that?”

Phichit said nothing for a moment. He held a stare, almost looking frustrated until he huffed out a breath. He reached over, fingers tightly gripping Yuuri’s shoulder as he stared straight into Yuuri’s soul. Yuuri gulped thickly – nervous, but anticipating Phichit’s response.

“Yuuri,” he began. “I can’t believe you’ve had to make me say this, but Victor loves you too. And he’ll be back.”

Yuuri didn’t know why, but he couldn’t respond.

“Seriously, Yuuri?” Phichit gawked, brows furrowed together. “You never realized that Victor loved you too?”

It wasn’t that he didn’t realize; he just… never acknowledged Victor’s returned feelings. Or perhaps he did, but because he is how he is, he chose not to notice it until Phichit screamed those words at Yuuri’s face, drilling in his stupidity and making him feel like an idiot.

But Yuuri  _ was _ an idiot – and in more ways than just one.

“I don’t think I was every truly sure that he did.”

“He loves you, and I think you needed to be told that,” Phichit spoke, arm over Yuuri’s shoulders. “I know what you’re like. You won’t notice it until someone tells you, so here is me telling you. Victor loves you, just like you love him. He has every reason to come back. He won’t leave you, Yuuri, and I don’t doubt he’ll find a way to come back. Even if he’s just here to visit, you’ll see him again, I’m sure of it.”

“But what if he-?”

“No,” Phichit stopped him mid-sentence, raising a finger to keep his words hushed. “No more buts. The only ‘but’ I want you thinking about is Victor’s, okay?”

And for the first time since his lover left, Yuuri laughed. It wasn’t as strong as he’d have liked it to be – no loud burst of laughter that made his cheeks and stomach ache. It was just a faint, breathy laugh; hardly a chuckle but it was also the first time in days that Yuuri found a reason to smile. Phichit was right after all.

“He won’t forget you.”

“I know,” Yuuri smiled weakly. “I told him not to.”

* * *

 

 

The storm ebbed into nothingness.

There was nothing but silence. His home became an empty void missing what made it so bright and colourful. There was no sound in his own heart, and the quietness grew deeper, but he still couldn’t hear the steady rhythm from within. His ears never became accustomed to the lack of noise.

The silence seeped into his every pore, like poison slowly paralyzing him from either speech or movement. It only became harder, and Yuuri saw no hope in it getting any easier.

* * *

 

 

Yuuri found Victor’s coat one evening.

He’d been picking himself up piece by piece. He didn’t cry as often – only on the occasional nights did his tears fall again – and he found what little energy he had left to pick himself up. The home was still lonely without Victor. His bed had an unusual cold spot that he couldn’t seem to get used to, but he was slowly pulling himself together. He was getting there.

But finding Victor’s coat among the clutter inside his closet had him stumble backwards into the mess he was once before.

He couldn’t remember putting the coat in his closet, but life moved so fast, everything had been a blur since Victor left. He might have put it there out of misery, or it was Victor who packed it away before he left; he didn’t know, but finding it had him sit down on the ground, coat in hand and a decision needing to be made.

He should pack it away. He had no use for it in the warm weather and his lover – could he still call Victor that? – wasn’t here to wear it anymore. He should put it away until next winter when he… still couldn’t wear it, but it wasn’t his to keep. It was Victor’s, and Yuuri had no use for it while Victor was gone.

But no matter the reason, he couldn’t find it in himself to store it away.

He left it hanging in his closet in the end. It was out of place with all his summer clothes, but it didn’t feel right packing it away. It was all he had left. It was the only thing that was Victor’s, and while it didn’t do much to ease the ache that remained in his heart, it helped him maintain a stable mind. It helped him begin to move on – somewhat.

It was strange. He couldn’t let it go, yet keeping it hung up in his closet felt like a step forward. He could have hugged it close, or sleep with it, but he didn’t. He managed to keep it in his closet – out of sight and out of mind – and that, to Yuuri, was moving on.

But that was another problem. Yuuri didn’t  _ want _ to move on. He couldn’t. Victor was – and Yuuri could say this with confidence – the love of his life. He was everything Yuuri adored and more. He would travel to the ends of the universe just to see him again; explore the stars in search for his long-lost love, spending his time trying to find that exact spot Victor pointed towards that night of their first date, and see his lover once again. He’d search far and wide to catch another glimpse of his silent alien, but to do so required technology far beyond what he had now, and Yuuri was stuck.

He often thought about what Phichit told him, how he said Victor loved him back and would return to him. He pondered the possibility of Victor’s return, and he tried hard not to think about it too, but the thought often came up during the worst times. The thought that Victor had forgotten about him often hit just before Yuuri slept, or the realization that it had been months that Victor left always struck Yuuri’s appetite and left him with an empty stomach but no craving to eat.

Even when his home was a little too quiet, he couldn’t take comfort knowing the silence had another presence within it. It seemed Victor refused to leave Yuuri’s mind, forever in his memories, but that was what Yuuri wanted.

Victor, his chaotic silence, was gone.

And Yuuri couldn’t be certain that he’d ever see him again.

* * *

 

 

There were nights where he’d lie on his bed, staring up at the ceiling with no particular interest in moving. Even Vicchan couldn’t encourage him to push himself up; so he’d lie with Yuuri too, curled up by his side to comfort his owner the best he could.

It didn’t help, but Yuuri appreciated the sentiment.

* * *

 

 

There came a point where Yuuri, heart still broken, decided to take a trip.

It wasn’t a vacation. He didn’t plan to go somewhere else or travel far from home to escape the quietness that invaded his memory with the love of his love. The trip had nothing to do with leaving, nor trying to forget. It was simply a sudden urge to leave for a little while.

He had no plans. He grabbed Vicchan, got in his car, and drove until something made some form of sense. He drove until the sun began to set and his stomach grumbled for food, but he still didn’t return home. He kept going, mind working on autopilot until he saw the hill coming into view, and still unable to understand his own plans, he continued forth.

And soon, that was where he found himself - sat on the hill where he and Victor had their first date, but being there with Vicchan on his lap made everything feel that little less troubling. And confusing.

There was something strangely unnerving about being back. He wasn’t sure what scared him the most, being completely unaware of his own intentions, or not knowing what set this off, but there was a reason he came here. There was always a reason behind decisions and choices, but as his eyes turned up to the stars - his frantic search to understand  _ why _ \- it didn’t really matter in the end.

It had been a while since he last watched the stars; he might as well take advantage of it while he was here.

They lost their vibrancy - the stars. There was hardly a twinkle in the sky, but they still shone like any other night. The skies were down too, but Yuuri suspected that was his own sorrows plaguing his sight with the struggle to appreciate its beauty. He hadn’t been in the best of mind lately. A lot had changed since Victor left, and watching the stars was no longer the same pleasure it used to be.

It was still strange to look up, but knowing there was life beyond his tiny planet made that magnify. There was so much to discover, different beings and species he had yet to meet, and it was strange because among those brilliant stars homed a man who crash-landed into his heart – a man he could easily define as the love of his life. And Yuuri knew if he met those billion others, none of them would compare to Victor. None would even come close to being like his lover – his  _ past _ lover…

There was something particularly strange about moving on.

It never truly happened. There was no realization that changed his perspective, or acknowledgement where his feelings were accepted and Victor became nothing more than a bittersweet memory. Moving on wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t something that should be, because how could anyone expect Yuuri to move on and forget about the best part of his life?

He couldn't. He tried and god, did he do everything in the books, but nothing ever worked. 

Everyone made it seem to easy. They told him to do this, or do that, but it didn’t take Yuuri long to realize that moving on wasn’t as easy as having an okay day in the mix of many bad ones. it wasn’t easy like throwing out his old favourite shirt, or deleting pictures off his phone. It was hard. It was the hardest thing he ever had to do, and moving on wasn’t looking for a distraction. It was allowing time to heal his broken heart.

And yet, that didn’t mean Yuuri wasn’t going to continue to try. He needed something to distract himself from the aches and pains and heartbreak in his chest, whether that was talking to his childhood friend Yuuko, or a late night call to his mother - he would try.

One love was gone, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t surround himself with others who loved him too.

That was how he found himself on the phone to his mother. He wasn’t completely aware he had made the call to begin with, not until he heard her voice, but listening to her speak always made him feel better.

_ “You never make calls to me like this. Not this early, and I know how late it is for you.” _

And of course, she’d know instantly that there was something wrong. He didn’t really wish to talk about it; he wanted to just ignore his feelings for a little while and talk to someone who didn’t look at him with a pitying stare, but he was also stupid for not thinking she’d worry about him either.

“Uh, y-yeah, yeah. I just…” he cleared his throat. “I just wanted to talk to you, that’s all. I don’t really call you as often as I should. Or visit, really. I’m sorry.”

_ “That’s okay, it’s just good to hear from you.” _

A silence fell between them but Yuuri didn’t know what to say. 

_ “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong if you don’t want to, but if you want to talk about it, I’ll always listen. So, are you okay?” _

“No,” he spoke, his own words taking him back but they were out, and he found he didn’t really wish to stop. “No, I’m not okay.”

_ “What happened?” _

Did he dare tell her?

He wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone about the alien. Phichit was an exception, because Phichit knew about Victor from the beginning, but Yuuri signed a contract. A piece of paper silenced his voice and stopped him from admitting the full truth to his own mother. He couldn’t tell her everything, but even if he could, how could he say he fell in love with an alien?

He couldn’t, that’s how. But that didn’t mean he had nothing to say. There was a heart wrenching truth to admit, with only one major detail ignored, and his tears spilled down his cheeks. 

“I fell in love,” he wept. He felt so pathetic. “I fell in love but he - he had to leave, and I don’t know what to do.”

That was how Yuuri spent the rest of the call, sobbing down the phone to his mother as he told her everything he was able to. He spoke of the man he met and lived with for a while; how he fell in love and the feelings were returned. He told her about their date, and how Victor was like, his stupid antics never failing to put a smile on Yuuri’s face. He told her how much he loved him, and didn’t miss a single detail - besides him being an alien.

But then he told her of Victor’s departure, giving her a vague description rather than the full picture. He said Victor needed to go home, and that he couldn’t hold him back. He couldn’t keep him from his life. It hurt to repeat it, and recalled the same ache that made him cry all over again, but he soon grew numb. He spoke with a tremble in his voice and wet cheeks, but his tears stopped, becoming nothing but the familiar ache in his chest.

He wasn’t sure which was worse, retelling the story or that she too didn’t know what to tell him. He appreciated her honesty, and talking to her helped him feel a little more fulfilled by the end of the call, but there was hope somewhere in his mind. He wished she knew what to tell him, but she was only human. She couldn’t solve everything.

And Yuuri was suddenly back to square one, which was the last advice he could take. Ultimately, time would heal him - slowly, but surely. Yuuri just didn’t know if he had the patience for it anymore.

Moving on was messy and uncertain, and there was nothing that could stop Yuuri from forgetting about Victor, no time or space, silence, or emptiness. Victor was there to stay only in his memories, and it was time that would allow him to slowly move on. It was time that could allow him to forget. Victor would want him to move on.

It wasn’t easy, but it was all he could do.

* * *

 

 

There was something indescribable about heartbreak.

It ripped and it teared, bleeding his heart dry until nothing was left but a hollow shell that once held love. He couldn’t live like this. He shouldn’t dwell either, but his head hung low, heavy with thoughts of Victor and nothing could stop them from happening.

It destroyed him, over and over again, but there were more dreams to come for them – just not together. He wished Victor happiness, joy, and love. And most of all, Yuuri hoped Victor wished him the same.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the part where I get nervous that the pacing was awful and that you're all going to hate the next chapter and the ending and hgjdfbgjdfbgj
> 
> but anyway hiiiiiiiiiiiii i hope you're still not mad at meeee.... I always promise a happy ending, don't forget about that! I will resolve this to the best of my abilities!
> 
> Also, ya'll get to see my artists artwork next chapter too!! Be sure to give [Staronet](http://staronet.tumblr.com/)  
> lots and lots of love!! 
> 
> I missed everyone yelling at me over something. It makes me want to get my pirate/royalty au out even sooner, but patience! Your comments feed my soul, thank you <3


	13. Chapter 13

 

_One year later_

 

Even after all this time, Yuuri still watched the stars.

Their pull never failed to tempt him. They lured him in with a false sense of beauty, pretending to be the most beautiful art in the universe, but Yuuri knows they’re not. How can they be? The most beautiful art came in the form of silver and gold – a passing light that caressed the heavens and fell into Yuuri’s heart.

But he still watched them. He still gazed upon their magnificence, heart aching and empty.

They’re a heavy reminder of what he had, held, and lost, but Yuuri long came to terms with that. He’d dare say he was content. He knew all along, somewhere in his heart, that Victor’s time was temporary, and Yuuri could see that now, but that didn’t matter – not completely.

Their memories would last a lifetime, and nothing could make Yuuri forget. Nothing could stop him from watching the stars and finally realizing what it was that he wished for.

He didn’t dream of exploration or wonder. He didn’t desire that excitement of discovering the unknown, or learning an alien language, or even seeing the universe in its true glory – its energy up close and spirit surrounding his soul.

No. Yuuri didn’t desire that, not anymore.

His wish to see more had come true. It answered his calls with the most beautiful thing the universe had to offer him – Victor.

And yet, even knowing that beauty – meeting him in person and falling so desperately in love with him before losing it all _still_ couldn’t keep Yuuri from watching the stars. It wasn’t enough to tear him away from their twinkling glares, hoping and praying and _wishing_ for another miracle. And God, did he wish for another miracle.

Phichit told him time and time again that Victor would come back. He said the same thing every time, reminding Yuuri everything he already knew and accepted, but left behind when he chose to move on. Yuuri could quote his exact words by now.

“Victor loves you, Yuuri, and he’ll find a way back to you. I don’t doubt that for a second.”

Yuuri didn’t either, at first. He never doubted that Victor would return because Phichit’s words were right in so many ways, but a year was a long time. A year had passed and he was still waiting, listening for any signs, looking out for hints or clues that may suggest Victor was coming home. Twelve long months of waiting would drive anyone to doubt.

But Yuuri still held onto hope. As little as it may be, he clung onto it as desperately as he could, holding it in his heart with a promise that one day, he’ll let it go. One day, but even after a year, he wasn’t ready to do that just yet – not completely.

“So, you’re out here again?”

Yuuri didn’t move from his place, lying with his back on the ground as he looked up, and caught an upside down Phichit suddenly in his garden. He frowned, pleased to see his friend but unsure on his sudden appearance.

“When did you get here?”

“Just a moment ago,” he answered. Yuuri’s frown remained, eyes narrowed as if to get more out of him. “Listen, I know you didn’t ask me here, but I also know what today is and I’m not going to let my best friend sit around all day, alone, knowing what had happened a year ago.”

Yuuri signed heavily as he moved to sit up. His back ached - joints stiff and muscles tight, but it was easily ignored as he stayed where he sat, eyes still cast upon the bright lights in the sky. He should have known Phichit would come. He knew his friend too well, but his mind had been everywhere that day – in the clouds and above the stars, far from any logical thinking.

“I am fine, you know,” Yuuri told him.

“I never asked if you were.”

“I had a feeling you were going to,” he muttered, “but I’m fine, trust me. I’m just… thinking.”

Yuuri caught movement by his side and looked away for just a moment to see Phichit sit down next to him. They said nothing. Their words stayed silent as their eyes turned to the skies once again, Yuuri lost in his thoughts and Phichit…

“I’m surprised you arrived so late,” Yuuri said, brows hung low in thought. “I would’ve thought you’d be here the second I woke up with some ice cream and a movie, maybe.”

“Oh, I thought about it,” Phichit laughed. Yuuri didn’t doubt he did. “I’ve got the ice cream at home and I had a marathon ready for us and everything, but I realized the _day_ isn’t when I should be distracting you. It’s now, and I realized I was a little too late to stop you from stargazing, huh?”

He was more than a little too late. Yuuri had been out here since before the stars came out, but he wasn’t going to let Phichit know that.

“I’m not always out here for Victor, you know,” he informed, but the look Phichit shot him – raised brow and smirk on his lips – told Yuuri that he didn’t believe him for a second. “I still enjoy watching them, even if it reminds me of him. I just… can’t seem to stop.”

He heard a sigh, but it wasn’t in frustration like Yuuri feared, yet he still didn’t dare meet Phichit in the eye. There was something about admitting he couldn’t let this go – that he couldn’t stop watching the stars – that had Yuuri feel small, but compared to the vast scale he found himself lost in, he was.

He didn’t like the feeling, but he couldn’t find a reason not to watch.

“Well, come on then,” Phichit said, jumping to his feet with a little too much energy. “You’ll never stop if you don’t try, so let’s just go inside. We can talk if you want to. How does that sound?”

He had to admit, he liked the idea. Whether it was to talk about everything going through his head or mindless chatter that meant nothing to either of them, the thought of just talking held appeal. It had been a while since they sat down and had a long talk. He was rather excited for it.

And so, they moved; Yuuri finally pushed himself up with Phichit’s help before they moved inside. Vicchan was around his feet before he made it through the door and he scooped his companion in his arms, taking comfort in his soft fur and loving licks. He hadn’t realized he needed comfort, not until the ache in his chest returned and Vicchan’s love seemed to be the only thing keeping him together.

They moved to the kitchen in silence. Neither said a word as they sat down, nor when they found themselves surrounded by a tense air, unsure what to say or how to continue now they were both sat there. Their eyes met, then they didn’t, and Yuuri was the first to clear his throat.

“Are you really that concerned about me that you’re not sure what to say?” He asked. There was almost a hint of humour behind it, because Phichit always had something to say, but nobody smiled. “That’s not like you.”

“I’m just worried,” he admitted. Yuuri chewed his lip. “I know how much Victor meant to you and today being a year since he left, I needed to make sure you were okay.”

Yuuri appreciated Phichit’s concern; he really did, but while he would absolutely love to talk about Victor again, he wondered if that was the best choice for him to make. The past year had been spent trying to move on, continuing life as if he hadn’t lost the love of his life, and while he was struggling, he was doing the best he can.

If he spoke about Victor again – expressed that heartbreak that still plagued him to this day – he feared he may never move on.

“You know, it’s okay if you haven’t moved on yet.”

“But is it?” he asked, doubtful that it really was okay. “It’s been so long since he left. I’ve been trying to move on for this entire year Phichit, and I _still_ feel this ache in my heart. I’ve done what I can to try to move on, but it feels like nothing has helped me let go.”

Phichit sighed. “It’s not easy.”

“I know.”

There was a moment of silence – just one.

“I’m going to assume you don’t want to talk about it,” Phichit then said, and Yuuri didn’t know how to answer him. “But if you do, you know I’m here to listen, if you need me to.”

If Yuuri had any control over himself, he might’ve held back the words that suddenly burst past his lips. He might have taken control, kept his thoughts and feelings silent while allowing the ache in his heart to tug and pull mercilessly until the day he finally couldn’t take it anymore.

He could’ve held it in, but Yuuri realized in that very moment that perhaps that was where he was going wrong – why he couldn’t let go.

“It’s not just about moving on. It’s… everything else,” he began, and the waterfall of words saw no end as he continued, “It’s been a year and it still feels like he left me yesterday. It’s still so fresh in my heart and I can’t shake off this ache, no matter what I do. I’ve done everything in the books. I’ve thrown out everything he had, and… I can’t delete the pictures, but I don’t look at them as often anymore. There’s almost nothing left and yet, he’s still in my mind as if he’s still here, but I know he’s not. He still appears in my dreams and I always wake up feeling so empty and lost when I realize he’s not by my side anymore. And today, I know it’s been a year, but I don’t feel any different. It hurts no matter what say it is.”

“And today isn’t the only day you’ve stargazed?” Phichit asked, a seemingly random question to Yuuri’s sudden outburst but it all tied together. Yuuri knew what he was asking.

“It isn’t,” Yuuri said, shaking his head. “I didn’t much when he left because I was crying so often, but now I just… find myself drawn to them again. I don’t know if it’s because I’m subconsciously waiting for Victor, or if I want to watch them like I used to, but I can’t go a night without looking. I just… can’t.”

Phichit didn’t say anything for a moment, but Yuuri didn’t expect him to. He knew his friend was trying to find a solution – a reason to Yuuri’s heartache, but he didn’t need an explanation. Yuuri mostly wanted a shoulder to cry on, but he had no more tears to shed.

And eventually, he settled with, “Love is a complicated thing, isn’t it?”

Yuuri nodded. “And yet, I don’t regret a second of it.”

“I should hope you don’t!” Phichit exclaimed. “It’s not everyday people meet the love of their life, and you’ve surpassed the odds by falling for someone not of our world. And you know, that’s exactly the reason why I believe Victor’s going to return.”

His heart tugged a hurtful ache which made him wince. He’d been juggling between what to believe. There were days where he believed Phichit and agreed with him, hopeful that Victor would return any day now. Then there were other days where he couldn’t agree with him – where he thought his friend was being too optimistic for his own good.

He could never make up his mind, and today, Yuuri didn’t know which he believed.

“What makes you believe that?” Yuuri settled with – an in between.

“It’s like I always say. Victor loves you, and he’ll find a way back to you. I don’t doubt that for a second.” It was the same spiel Phichit always said, time and time again, and Yuuri was having déjà vu. “He’ll be back. I know a year is a long time but I’m sure there’s a reason why he’s taking so long. He’s an alien, but he’s not a miracle worker. There must be a reason why he’s taking his time.”

Yuuri didn’t want to frown, or ruin Phichit’s hopeful attitude, but a thought rushed through his mind and he couldn’t stop himself when he said, “but I don’t want to start convincing myself there’s a reason when he just might not want to see me again.”

Phichit exhaled a long sigh as he reached forward, grip curled around Yuuri’s arm as he squeezed tightly, sending waves of reassurance through Yuuri’s bones. “He’ll be back,” Phichit said, his words strong. “Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or even a month from now, but Victor will be back, Yuuri. He’ll always find a way back to you, I promise.”

Yuuri smiled weakly. The advice Phichit gave, while appreciated, wasn’t entirely believed; but he still gave his friend the benefit of the doubt.

He went to reply, but as he opened his mouth, he caught a flashed in the corner of his eye, disrupting him as he turned towards the window. He wasn’t the only one to see it. Phichit turned too, and Vicchan pounced out of his arms, barking loudly to alert them of something they had already seen.

There was no other way to describe what it was but a light – an unmistakable ocean blue glow that had him pounce to his feet. His hand slapped against the cold glass window, staring in awe as it began to grow. Then, the air fell silent – thick with anticipation as it vanished in a single blink, and Yuuri’s heart stopped entirely.

He scrubbed his eyes. He was certain he saw something – _positive_ , and Vicchan’s continued barking only confirmed Yuuri’s suspicion. He didn’t know what it was or what could have caused it, but whatever it was had Yuuri thinking. It was a stretch, but he couldn’t help but wonder.

There was a thought – a moment of hope.

“Did you just see that?” He asked, turning to Phichit who was also on his feet and nodding.

“I definitely saw it,” he confirmed. Yuuri swallowed thickly. “You… you don’t think it’s…?”

He knew what Phichit was suggesting – or even _who_. If Phichit had asked him this moments ago, he would have refused it. He would’ve shaken his head, denying it had anything to do with his past lover and that he was being too hopeful for his own good, but something about this didn’t sit right. It felt too familiar – too comparable to Victor’s departure…

It was the same startling flash of vibrant blue; the same thick silence that followed, and Yuuri didn’t realize he was moving until he swung open the backdoor. He didn’t notice his feet touching the damp ground, or his inability to stop at the shout of his name.

But all that came to a grinding halt at the sight before him. There were sequin-silver locks and ocean blue eyes, and a smile that set his heart alight as it stopped entirely and –

“Victor?”

And all at once, he felt it.

He felt his love hit at full force, and everything that hurt since Victor’s departure – his grief, his heartache, sorrows and tears. He could feel it all, and before Yuuri could draw in the air his body needed, he already melted himself into Victor’s form with a tight embrace.

He heard Phichit gasp from behind, but his own were punching out of him, tears threatening to spill as his body began to tremble. He felt Victor’s tears fall before his own, crying for the missed time they’ll never get back – crying to release the tension of that long year. He didn’t dare let go, but he needed to pull back. He needed to see Victor’s face, and God, he didn’t regret pulling away for those few moments.

And seeing that face - his eyes and mouth and scar that never faded away, holding himself back was quickly ignored. A year had passed. Yuuri wasn’t going to waste another moment.

He kissed Victor with reckless abandon. He kissed him with a hunger that made it rough, and there was too much teeth, but none of that mattered. His tight grip of Victor’s spacesuit held want. The hard press of their mouths was desperately needed. And the perfect tilt of their heads soon locked their lips together perfectly, allowing that desire to be fulfilled with the sweet familiar taste of their tongues.

“Don’t leave me again,” Yuuri croaked, pulling back for a breath and wiping Victor’s tears away with his thumb. “Don’t you dare ever leave me like that again. I swear, Victor. I can’t – I can’t do this again. I can’t spend another year without you, please. Don’t – not again.”

Victor bit his bottom lip, holding back his tears as he shook his head. He moved a hand to press it to Yuuri’s heart, making a promise Yuuri would never let him break.

He took hold of Victor’s head, cradling it as their foreheads touched. It took a lot for him to not kiss Victor again, there and then – to delve into a desire so deep, so _desperately_ needed – but he just wanted to spend this moment taking it in. He needed to feel Victor again, his soft skin beneath his fingertips, his hair between his fingers, and his entire being surrounding him in love and affection and everything he’d been craving for since Victor left.

And Yuuri watched as Victor as he pulled down the black mesh around his neck, revealing a tiny core pressed in the centre of his throat. It wasn’t like the one on his chest. It was smaller, and didn’t glow – not until Victor touched a finger to it, and Yuuri wondered what this new tech was for.

_Yuuri?_

His breath escaped him at the voice inside his mind. It was so loud and clear, and so very real that Yuuri didn’t need it explained. The thoughts inside his mind shared a path with another person – another being who entered his thoughts and accessed parts he never knew existed, where he could hear the voice of his lover and his accent – unidentifiable, but real and human and _possible._

_Yuuri? Can you hear me?_

“I – I can hear you,” he whispered, nodding to confirm. There were tears in his eyes, but for the first time in over a year, he smiled as they fell. “V-Victor, I can hear you!”

_Yuuri!_ His voice cheered, so light and sweet and Yuuri’s heart ached so heavily, but in the greatest way possible. _I’m so glad this is working! It’s a prototype and we weren’t too sure if it was going to work, but you can hear me and we can connect and speak and talk and –_

His words fell silent inside Yuuri’s mind, stopped by the hard press of his lips against Victor’s own. He held back for as long as he could, but hearing Victor’s voice – being able to speak with him and _communicate_ was the last push he needed to cave in. It was all it took for Yuuri to finally kiss him, slow and deep, filled with need and desire as they shared their first kiss in a year.

But when they pulled back and Yuuri remembered Victor’s voice in his head, he couldn’t stop himself when he asked, “I – how… how did you – what is – when did you…?”

Victor’s laughter echoed in his mind, and the smile on his lips set his heart ablaze.

_I’ve been working on this since I arrived home_ , Victor spoke, pointing towards the core on his throat. Yuuri’s intrigue had him gently touch it with his finger, scared he’d do something wrong to spoil the moment, but Victor’s voice remained. _It took a while to finish, and I wasn’t even sure it would work but it was a risk and I needed to come back. I needed to see you and I’m sorry I took so long. I’m sorry I made you wait._

“It’s okay,” Yuuri wept, cupping Victor’s cheeks to brush away the tears. “You’re here, and whether I can hear you or not doesn’t matter to me. You’re here and that’s all I can ever ask for.”

_I was never going to leave you, Yuuri_ , Victor explained, cupping Yuuri’s cheeks too. _I didn’t want to in the end, but I messaged my people not long after I arrived and I knew they were coming._ _I honestly didn’t think they’d find me._ _It took them so long and it seemed likely they were struggling, so I hoped it could’ve stayed that way long enough for me to learn how to write and explain it to you, but your language is confusing and strange and it was harder than I thought._ _Then they found me, and I… I couldn’t stay but I couldn’t leave either._ _It was the hardest decision I had to make, but you told me to go and I just… went. I knew I was going to come back, but you didn’t, and I’m so sorry I kept you waiting. I’m sorry if I made you believe I didn’t care about you._

“You better,” Yuuri muttered, but there was no anger in his voice – no frustration or fury. “I’ve spent far too many nights crying because I missed you, but I understand. You couldn’t tell me that then, but don’t you dare ever leave without telling me again, okay?”

_Never, but you can hear me now,_ Victor smiled. _I promise you, I’m not leaving any time soon. I’ve decided my future is here on planet Earth, by your side. This is where I want to live, and you are who I’d like to spend the rest of my life with._

“I love you, Victor,” Yuuri gasped out fast, unable to stop his words but he didn’t wish to. He was too late to say it before, but not this time. “I love you so much and I – I never got the chance to tell you before and I’ve regretted it ever since, and I never knew if you were going to come back or if I’d ever see you again and I just – I love you, Victor. I love you so much I-”

And Victor stopped him with a kiss – slow and sweet.

_I love you too, Yuuri_ , Victor spoke, and Yuuri’s heart soared. _I love you more than anything in the universe._

 

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HECKIN YES
> 
> ok as much as i feel like this last chapter was rushed (which, in a way, it was bc it was for a bang and I took my time with this a littttleee too long, but anyway) I think there wasn't any other way I could actually bring Victor back without it feeling rushed. He was always just going to appear like he had before - so sudden and quick, and going a way that just built to this slow, but obvious conclusion didn't feel right.
> 
> But regardless, we're at the end.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it! It's been fun! 
> 
> I have plans to upload again VERY soon, so I hope to see you all there. I'm currently getting the first chapter for my pirate/royalty AU read by a beta, and once I've worked out a title and a summary, I'll be uploading! I'm super excited for this fic, I've got so much planned and so much to write for it, I have a feeling it's going to be another long-ass fic, like my usual stuff ;)  
> But I will say now, I will be taking my time. I've got a busy schedule right now between modding and participating in a few events and what not... But I would also like to take my time and enjoy myself writing this next fic, so no writing fatigue or forcing myself to stick to a schedule. It's going to be me having fun, and writing content I hope everyone will enjoy! And if they don't, well, I'll still be writing it ;)
> 
> Thank you for the comments, and be sure to give my artist Staronet lots and lots of love! They've been an absolute diamond and a blast to work with, and I'm so honoured to be paired with someone so kind and fun and amazing! They've been the best support throughout all this <3 <3
> 
> Follow me on twitter for updates! I'm mostly active on there now and you'll even see teasers for my next fic too!

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my Tumblr!  
> [Click here!](http://axlaida.tumblr.com)  
> Follow my Twitter!  
> [Click here!](https://twitter.com/Axlaida)  
> 


End file.
